In retrospect, we never stood a chance. Even old cynics were moved last night, as the perilously steeped grandstands of Ellis Park belted out the South African anthem and sang happy birthday to Nelson Mandela. The man himself was present. The home team wore his cell number on their sleeves as they shaped up to defend the rugby plate named in his honour. The Springboks featured a record nine black players in their squad. South Africa was going to win, or die trying.
The Wallabies weren’t up for the all out war declared on them at Ellis Park last night. The Springbok win was emphatic, and South Africa has retained the Nelson Mandela plate. The question for the Wallaby brains-trust now is whether to put this game aside, as a special case, fueled by an exceptional time and place in history; or whether to employ the match in an effort to divine clues to a better future? For those who share in the mysteries of the game they play in heaven, my take is over the fold.
The first thing is that there’s no basis for panic. The Wallabies haven’t won in the claustrophobic cauldron that is Ellis Park since 1962, and even the All Blacks have been denied a victory there for a decade. The ‘Boks flew at us like men on powerful drugs, swarming in defence and running straight in attack with rare passion.
The decisiveness of the Boks’ superiority acknowledged, it remains that trundling out a Wallaby team without a recognised goal-kicker continues to be a totally insane exasperating farce. This is pure kindergarten. How much is Coach Jones being paid? Can we dump him once the mass dismissal rules roll in? The All Blacks have a saying, which is that ‘the only time you don’t pick your goal-kicker as the first player in your team, you pick him second’.
So, what does our genius, our statistic-laden, video-glued, fool of a born-loser coach, do? He doesn’t pick any goal-kickers at all! Just take a moment to think about how incredibly plain dumb that is. Now recall that the Wallabies scored the same number of tries as South Africa last night, and that we passed up some half-a-dozen opportunities to kick for goal. Yes, an ultimately pleasing irony of last night is that the best team was still lucky to win, with the ‘Bok pressure only producing two intercept tries, and a doubtful third effort, for Bernie Larkham was knocked out off the ball. Yet, and yet, and yet, even with all this, we could still have won, if only we had a goal-kicker. Yes, this simple selection oversight is just too dumb for words.
Fortuitously, there’s now an opportunity to try to solve the problem next week. Both our front-line fullbacks - Mat Rogers and Latham of Socks-Down - are injured. The case is thus compelling to immediately fly Waratah fullback and rookie-of-the-year, Peter Hewat, over for next week’s clash. OK, fair enough. I’ve written this speech before, in opposition to skeptical commenters. I admit, I don’t know whether Hewat can translate his obviously outstanding provincial talent into top test level. But neither does anyone else. Surely he’s worth a go, if only for the fact that he has a huge goal-kicking boot.
What gets me is that Coach Jones is happy to give Drew Mitchell a start as our third fullback, allegedly on the basis of his form in the recent Australia A match. What a joke. If the truth be told, Mitchell played poorly in that game, with a shocking first half, and another player - yes, his name is Peter Hewat - scored two of Australia A’s three tries and kicked all six goals, including a dropped-goal, and was named player of the match, a rare honour to be awarded someone in the losing team. Read the match account, and search for the name of Drew Mitchell. Mitchell got there via Australia A? Hah. Crap.
The logic behind Hewat hopping on a plane to South Africa tomorrow is unassailable. But we know it won’t happen. Why? Because Mitchell is a bloomin’ Queenslander isn’t he now, and Queensland must have some players in the national team no matter how inferior they are, or the place has a collective hissy fit. Yes dear readers, provincial rugby politics rears its unwelcome head, and the nation’s rugby rookie-of-the-year, the lightning bolt of the 2005 super 12, the young dude who smashed the great Matt Burke’s all-time Tah records for the most points in a game and season in his debut year, the real Australia A star, the guy who’s been tryin’ his luck out there all year and havin’ some, needn’t bother to entertain his dreams and clean his boots. A cap denied, and the Wallabies can go begging for a goal-kicker.
There is this, and much more for the brains-trust to chew on, as we wait for next week’s big match in Pretoria. On the one hand, the dream of an undefeated Wallaby season was buried last night at Ellis Park. On the other, the Bledisloe remains in play as the big decider, for New Zealand hasn’t played in South Africa yet, and hence the question of the de facto 2005 world champion team remains moot; oh, for a goal-kicking Wallaby boot.
Knew you’d be disappointed, Chris. Great review of what was a woefully disjointed and heartless Wallaby foray. I was impressed with the mongrel in Jeremy’s try but that’s about it.
And what’s with this business of pulling Gregan 8 minutes from fulltime? Good message Coach - ‘boys - it’s all over.’ A good boss (coach or captain) - good player of any kind, actually - just doesn’t head for the showers. Never! Jones exudes neither artistry or bastardry.
The greatest cultural threat to the Wallabies is the same one that brought the Queensland Origin team undone this year IMO. That is, too much professionalised coolness and not enough red-hot passion and disciplined aggression. As you point out, the goal-kicking fiasco was another pathetic Jones botch-up.
As for the Boks, their defence was genuinely praiseworthy; can’t take anything away from them. Only for Madiba can any good be seen in the loss.
PS: The boys also got into strife Thursday night on the grog apparently. Dell was involved - as he always is. A real thug at the discos is Wendell. They’re entitled to a blow-out I suppose (Friday was a free day). But being out till 4 am the day before a Boks test? I dunno.
Most sportsmen are in my experience, C.L. Avoid pubs where footballers gather is a good motto. And don’t ever, ever, give your mobile number to Shane Warne. Just sayin…
it takes a football fan to tell thugby union supporters the bleeding obvious after the tests in Austraya.
Kim was that a warneing or was it just spin?
That is, too much professionalised coolness and not enough red-hot passion and disciplined aggression.
Agree Currency. Jones appears to have got ‘em psyched into a zone where they’re more concerned about avoiding mistakes than playing the running game.
As for Sailor, out on the grog at 4am the Friday morning before the game, words fail as we saw him caught fast asleep on his wing at least twice on Saturday. Clyde Rathbone, we need you.
What do we do with a drunken sailor?
Kim, that comment was beneath you.
Sorry, Luke, just a bit sick of reading about Warney and his adventures every time I walk past a magazine rack.
As to Sailor, back when he was still a rugby league player, a friend of mine had quite a bad experience with him and a bunch of his teammates at a pub.
Well, you could blame Warney, or you could blame the magazines, of course. Not that he doesn;t bear responsibility for his action, but the magazine bears responsibility for publishing them.
And Sailor, yes, is a prat. But not all footballers are Wendell Sailor. I’m a bit sick of people assuming every pro athlete is a rapist waiting to happen.
Fair enough, Luke. But there is a problem. Not every footballer has a bad attitude towards women, but some do, and there does seem to be a bit of a drink driven pack culture that enhances it.
Some do. Not all.
Sorry to be touchy, but I’ve had people assume things about me and my friends and teammates over time, simply because of the sport we play. And it is crap.
Imagine if we were Muslims to boot
And I don’t defend reprehensible and misogynistic behaviour by anyone, but there are contributing factors as well. But that’s another story for another thread, I think.
My initial comment was a throwaway, Luke, and you’re right that it’s probably not the best place to discuss it. I do try not to make assumptions based on preconceptions, let me assure you.
Point taken, Kim.
Getting back to the match, re Currency’s comment:
And what’s with this business of pulling Gregan 8 minutes from fulltime?
Yeah. Weird, as CL notes, and bad for the team at a crucial stage, if it was out of the blue, and who would doubt that from Coach “Lost-everything-in-the-trophy-cabinet” Jones?
Still, Captain Gregan is now accumulating a record of not finishing games, for injury or other reason. Note as well that, again, when the big thunder roared, Matt Giteau couldn’t cut it. There is a trap here. Matt “Boy Dynamite” Giteau is better than most of the world’s inside-centres by virtue of his extraordinary gifts. But when it comes to a good big versus a good small man in that position, he’s negated. Gits should start replacing George as half-back off the bench, a position in which his explosive talent could well etch his name in rugby history.
The only consolation from the whole sorry game is that the Wallabies played poorly and were completely out enthused by the Boks, yet both side scored three tries and two of the Boks’ were intercepts, rather than properly constructed tries.
And what alternatives are there to Coach Jones? Who was Qld’s coach? Can’t remember but was obviously a dud. Ewen McKenzie did well to get the Tahs to the final, but boy did they play a plodding brand of football to get there. Laurie Fisher - well he can’t even control his hair let alone a football team. What other options are there?
True enough Andrew. There is no obvious alternative. Still, this should not exempt Jones from criticism, which can have the effect of pressuring him to think again, or, in the extreme, trigger the brains-trust to start thinking of alternatives. I am flabbergasted that he can get such an easy pass from the mainstream press, while failing so spectacularly. Starting with a full trophy cabinet, all we now have to show from the dismal Jones era, apart from unending talk, is a solitary victory over England last year … yes, England, the team that everybody beat last year … England, the worst performing world cup title-holders in history. I’m mystified as to why such a poor coaching record, a record that in any other country would surely have earned him the boot by now, is permanently overlooked by the media.