Just call me the assassin of intelligently designed comments…

Ingrown pubic hairs.

The premise is that things are complex because they were designed by the Creator. The evidence for this is the same “It’s self evident!!” argument provided by the ID movement. The catch is that the Creator isn’t very good.
This explains why we have cancer, mental illness and cystic fibrosis.
It also explains why we have BO, people with no sense of humour and why humans have to waste all that freaking time preparing and eating food.
If things were sensibly designed we’d be able to live off sunlight or air.
Also, I’d like to be able to breath underwater so that no-one drowned any more.
And what’s with this arthritis?
And getting old?
And farting?
And R&B music?
And back hair?
And the need to exercise to get a firm six-pack?
And…

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512

Ramen, brother and sisters. Ramen.

“Now, children, when you stand on the edge of the diving platform, remember to hold your arms correctly, so, with the elbows down, forearms angling slightly upward, so. After leaving the base - the board - you will enter a short phase of level flight, at which time you must check your distance to the target - the water. At the appropriate juncture, your nose must dip down sharply and the dull roar of your engine must give way to a high-pitched whine as you prepare for your final run against the exposed coastal city - the surface!“

Don’t mention the war, Nabakov.

Now there’s an assemblage of words that conjures up some interesting images.

Unlike Olympic diving, in which medals are awarded for slicing through the surface without so much as a ripple, dive-bombers aim to make as much noise and spray as possible when they hit the water.
“The kids here are freaks. Dive-bombing is an extreme sport,” said the man who dreamed up the world championships, 36-year-old Oliver Schill.
Competitors had three attempts from the 10-metre board, including one classic backside-first dive and two ‘freestyle’ attempts.
It looked painful, and it was.
The winner was Simon Gfeller from the Swiss town of Muensingen, who produced a dive comprising four turns and then a spectacular landing on his face.
He won extra points from the judges for hiding his discomfort.
A German dive-bombing coach, Helmut Huenerfauth, is convinced the new sport is here to stay.
“All over the place there are groups of people getting together who just want to get their backsides flayed,” he said.

Only the Germans.

We’re now working on acquiring some of your DNA and comparing it with that of Clint the Chimp. If I were you, I’d sleep with the light on from now on.

Oh, so only now the light dawns?

“I‚Äôve got nothing more to say.”

I think we all realised that fairly early on in this thread.