We’ve had tons of debate over TEH EVILS OF BIG BROTHER and net porn in our country between the straighteners and the enlargers, but I wonder what Steve Fielding, Barnaby Joyce, Helen Coonan, and other Honourable Senators would make of the latest Channel Four doco in the UK.
Channel 4 is to bring mass public masturbation to the small screen.
The broadcaster – once led by Michael Grade, dubbed “pornographer in chief” by the Daily Mail – has commissioned a documentary about the UK’s first “masturbate-a-thon” as part of a series of programmes dubbed “Wank week”, MediaGuardian.co.uk can reveal.
In what must surely be one of the summer’s more bizarre events, hundreds of people are expected to gather in a hall in central London on August 5 to pleasure themselves in aid of charity.
If you’re interested in the charitable purposes of this vigorous and to be televised activity, go here.
Definitely not a wankathon for some political tossers, who otherwise like persons of restricted growth (PORGs) in a nudist colony, have difficulty keeping their noses out of private affairs.
At last the personal and the political come together.
Always nice to see people earnestly grasping a charitable cause. I trust the organ isers won’t try to palm this off as a cunning stunt and instead keep a firm grasp on the proceedings so things won’t get out of hand.
Knock the top off that, Homer.
That’s the trouble with us diehard PORGs, we just can’t fully appreciate where queer liberal jerkers want to take us all
http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7004194847
You’re weird, dude. And I suspect tumescent right now as well.
Things not working out with Tiddles, observa?
“Things not working out with Tiddles, observa?”
Ever tried giving a cat a reacharound? The language alone is appalling.
Didn’t know that Russians who want to marry their cows qualified as liberals Obby, although we do have some liberal pollies here with certain bovine characteristics, whose proclivities and management of certain activities does not bear thinking about, but at least we can say for the Rusky he’ll probably immunise himself to smallpox by catching cowpox. Jenner would probably have approved.
I can see the one sheet.
“Chocolate Starfish: Observa and Tiddles’ Great Big Adventure.
‘Sometimes true love doesn’t need any clawsues.’”
You’re peerless, Nabakov.
Good on them for having a go, I say.
Pedantic master at my boarding school: “There will be mass-debating at 9pm this evening in the assembly hall.”
200 Boys: “Hurrah”
Mortimer’s (creater of Rumpole) autobiography:
Chaplain springing Tainton in the act–”Tainton, shouldn’t you be saving that for when you get married?”
Tainton: “I am sir, I’ve got three jam jars full already.”
“You’re peerless, Nabakov”
More of a handful I’d say.
“So why do you call your budgie Onan, Miss Parker?
Because he spills his seed upon the ground.”
Peter, that’s just getting gross. How old are you?
But Naomi, don’t you prefer them quiescent to tumescent for educational purposes?
The official site went down before, obviously couldn’t handle all the traffic from the Guardian article. But it’s up again now and I note that there will be a live online feed and folks are encouraged to participate from home.
However, the “what to expect” page is still down due to capacity problems. Obviously a capacity crowd are interested in attending.
“Obviously a capacity crowd are interested in attending.”
Yes the event sounds like it could positively overflowing with the milk of human kindness.
I must allow Slatts to the the credit for that one. I’d have to say to left progressives everywhere that there is a deep meaning in Animal Farm, but Putin doesn’t want to take it too literally with all these udder um …liberal predilictions shall we say. Stick to Russian orthodoxy if you know what’s good for you there Vlad meboy. After all, you more than anyone know what happens when you let anything goes lefties, loose about the place.
Well I’m drunk on tee many martoonies obby. What’s your excuse for your incomprehensible comments? Beyond being weird, dude.
Even when you’re drunk, N, you’re peerless. Observa? Always legless.
Dear Dorothy Dixova,
“All the girls have left our small village and moved to the city, so I cannot find a woman to be with.”
“But I see the solution to the problem. I love animals very much and want to ask when we will be allowed in Russia to marry domestic animals, such as cows?”
Dorothy:
Give it about a year or two after footy teams can get hitched PETA the Great.
Like I said.
In the meantime PETAhead, remember to observe the golden rule after taking ze piss- any more than 3 flicks and it’s a wank!
“PETA the Great” was actually pretty damn funny in the context of slavic barnyard fun obby. I’ll give you that one.
Now if only you could use your talent for fun instead of weird.
I’m stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps.
- Weird Al Yankovic
They put you down and call you crazy
Say “You’re disgusting and uncool!”
Just because you like to touch yourself
Out by the public swimming pool
You’ve gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You’ve gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You used to do it in the park
But the powers that be didn’t like it
THey called you “pervert” and “criminal”
Now you have to use a blanket
You’ve gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You’ve gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
- Nick Herder
Slip into a cinema and give yourself a treat
Better take a raincoat could be sticky on the seat
Open up you Twisties and open up your fly
Pictures start to flicker as your hand moves down your thigh
If your mother knew what you were doing
She’d probably hang her head and cry
And if she thought that you were whipping the dripping
She’d give you a belt, extract all the teeth of your fly
Munchy Munchy Twisties the shorts are such a drag
Make a little opening in the other end of your bag
Now put your Twisties right down there in your lap
No-one ever guesses whatsit’s in the pack
If your mother knew what you were doing…
Better get a grip on yourself
You better pull yourself together…
Picture’s almost over but still your not quite there
John Wayne pulls his gun out and you wish he’d some to spare
Then they turn the lights on and people start to stare
You find you’ve got a boot full and your coat’s stuck to the chair
If your mother knew what you were doing…
- Skyhooks
Lots more:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_songs_about_masturbation
I can see you’ve done some hands-on research here mulberry boy.
WG re
Too old to forget ye old gross boarding school culture, mindful of our/the origins in/of British spunk.
“Never in the field of human wankery have so many boys so active, been threatened by so few tosser teachers.”
The sort of TV programing that might pull a big audience and also no doubt rub some up the wrong way.
Come off it, guys.
Or as a fab foursome once said..”Come Together”
Sounds like stimulating programming, especially if it’s going to use the latest digital technology.
So as not to get too gross, I momentarily desisted from the lyrics and only suggested a title.
You know..”Come together, right now, over me”
I didn’t say it! They did!
From the Guardian “The event will encourage Londoners – both male and female – to sign up sponsors and head to Clerkenwell in order to masturbate in front of hundreds of others.”
And I guess heckling won’t be allowed? No crowd participation ?
A mexican wave would be interesting, boredinhk.
It’d be nice to award participatants in some way
However, criteria for prizes could pose a problem.
For the boys, London’s upcoming status as an olympic city may be celebrated with awards for each of citius, altius, fortius.
For the girls, a wee bit trickier. Perhaps neatest correct entry.
Where does all the jism go?
I wouldn’t have said two-foot was small, but it had to rhyme, eh?
Happiness is a warm gun, mama.
More information on “what to expect”:
http://www.masturbate-a-thon.co.uk/
Noticed that cleaning personnel at the event must be wearing shoes and surgical gloves.
Sounds very, ah, reasonable.