I’m not an obsessive philographist by any means. Nor am I at the extremes of celebrity culture as Kim posted on last month. But I have a few autographs in my collection from over the years and have met a few celebs.
There is a signed edition of Terry Pratchett’s The Last Continent I found in a bookshop in Byron Bay. Another is a signed edition of BB King’s biography from a book signing in LA about 10 years ago. I have a signed picture of Bruce Boxleitner as John Sheridan from Babylon 5 that a friend organised for me in 1999 (alas a planned meeting with Bruce fell through).
Blues guitarist Ronnie Earl signed a CD for me after a in-store appearance at the Pitt St HMV in 1998. He asked if I was going to his show that evening and I said I couldn’t afford a ticket due to a cash flow crisis. He called his manager over and she put me on the guest list.
But my favourite autograph collecting, celeb meeting story is over the fold.
It was summer 1998 and a Goon obsessed friend and I found at that Spike Milligan was doing a book signing at the ABC shop in the QVB. So we arranged our lunch hours to coincide with the signing and scooted off. When we got there, the line of those awaiting benediction from Spike was well out the door. One young chap, visibility excited after meeting the man, stopped where Fabs and I were standing and told us that it was more than worth it.
I left the line briefly to pick up a copy of Frankenstein According to Spike Milligan to give him something to sign as we slowly and surely shuffled into his presence. Doubt crept over us. Should we say something funny? Or is that too obvious. What should we do? Will Spike just sign the book or will he engage us in conversation. Eventually it was our turn. We stood in front of Spike and he asked for my name.
I replied and then gave the spelling and then Spike then proceeded for the next few minutes to discuss the etymology of my name. He even used my book as a notebook writing down both variations. It was a nice personal touch and just as good as any joke he could have said. Soon our time was up but it was worth it. It was nice to see that he took time with each person instead of just signing the book and sending them on their way.
I’ve always quite liked having this little piece of Spike.
Of course there is the obvious discussion on the nature of celebrity and the role of the autograph but being the weekend bugger that. Have some fun posting on meeting your favourite musicians, actors, pollies, writers or any other cultural icons.
What shite. I have an autograph signed by Don Lane in 1965.
Apparently the trick is to find a Pratchett book that hasn’t been signed.
A signed copy of Peter Gabriel’s “Passion”, autographed backstage at WOMADelaide in 1992. Seemed like a nice guy.
I got Pterry to sign “ooook!” on my copy of Guards!Guards!, which I’m still very happy about.
But most times my paths have crossed celebrities in the flesh around airports/theatres/etc I haven’t immediately recognised them. Of course, when one doesn’t recognise that weirdly familiar looking person it means one does that terrible thing of furtively staring at them trying to work out why they look so familiar and where one might have met them previously. The celeb then says something that makes it all fall into place and one then must smile inanely while inwardly castigating oneself for being yet another staring git.
I hope we can all agree that it’s just mean of Maggie Tabberer to sneak up behind people in IKEA. I reckon she’s keeping score of the utterly prattish responses she gets when people turn around and see her six inches away. Evil tall freakishly well-groomed white-garbed bint.
So how did that conversation go, TT?
TT: “Look, I’m sorry for being such a furtively staring git, but aren’t you famous. You look weirdly familiar. Didn’t you used to be someone?”
WEIRDLY FAMILIAR LOOKING PERSON: “I’m your mother, Leonard Teale. VKC.”
TT (blushing): “Can I have your autograph?”
I’ve got a “white wedding albumn edition” of the Clark Kent / Lois Lane marriage, signed by the artists/writers. It was worth about $60 in 1996. Don’t know what it’s worth now…
OK Bruce, I’m hooked. I don’t actually recall the Kent/Lane
weedingwedding of he century of ‘96.I’m guessing you could have got top dollar in, oh, ’bout ‘96?
For current value try Cash Converters.
I have two:
The Cool – an Eskimo Joe CD signed by all the band members,
The Less Cool – a personalised autograph from Memo of Acropolis Now fame.
I have Bob Hawke’s autograph. Though I hate to admit it.
For Shaun:
I’ve got a 1st Edition Good Omens signed by Pratchett and Gaiman, and Taboo number one signed by Steve Bisette, Steve Totleben and Eddie Campbell. I also had Peter Cushing’s autograph on a with complements card. Long lost I fear. I should have Jon Pertwee, Katy Manning and Peter Davidson’s somewhere. A Darkness at Sethanon and Brisbane: a Radical History. And Brent Spiner’s autograph on on a bit of old envelope. I think that’s it.
The last time I spoke to Katy Manning we were waiting to cross Elizabeth St in Brisbane. She was with Barry Crocker and I had tickets to see them both in Educating Rita that evening.
Although perhaps not famous any more, I have a signed copy of J T (Jack) Lang’s autobiography dating from when I met him as a high school student.
Former premier of NSW and the only one to be dismissed by the Governor.
This doesn’t figure as large in Australia’s political history as it used to and I guess that’s how we might understand this discussion too.
oops – can’t spell my own name. the d went awol.
I forgot that as a kid a few of were bundled off as school reps to a reception for then NSW Premier Neville Wran. We made right nuisances of ourselves by asking Wran and assembled dignitaries for their autographs. IIRC everyone took it on good humour.
Drusilla: I’m naming all the stars.
Spike: You can’t see the stars, love. That’s the ceiling. Also, it’s day.
Drusilla: I can see them. But I’ve named them all the same name. And there’s terrible confusion.
I got Jaime and Beto Hernandez to both sign my ‘Love and Rockets’ T-shirt! The one with Hopey’s band on it! (not the annoying ripoff band)! And, at the very same nerd convention, I talked to Jaime for like 20 minutes and he politely put up with me, despite the fact that I must have been a crushing bore! How’s that for being nice to your fans!
I HAD a signed copy of the Laughing Clowns first EP – yes signed by them all, yes signed by them all at a tiny little gig they did in Sydney with Louise still playing sax etc etc – I HAD – i seem to have sent off with a pile of crap LPs to the local tip. & don’t bother – I have already scoured the entire place with a hand trowel and miner’s lamp to no avail.
I’m bowing down to you Bernice. Keep looking!
I have a personally signed copy of Ryan Heath’s Please Just F*ck Off, It’s Our Turn Now. When he’s Prime Minister I’ll flog it.
…
Speaking of great ‘Fuck Off’ titles: Bernice, I onced lived with a fella who had a signed 45″ of which he was very proud. I pulled out of the shelf, when he mentioned it, and read the title “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” and the more-or-less indecipherable signature “Jello Biafra”.
The question I asked, of which I’ve been ashamed ever since, was
I plead youth, your honour.
[ahem] 45rpm, not inch. That’d be one big record.