Firstly, I am not one of these discomfited parents.

Secondly, I am rejecting their argument that giving their daughters this vaccine means that they must discuss the sexual significance of the organism being vaccinated against, hence opening the gate to sexual temptation earlier than they are willing.

I don’t think your arguments for the merits of gifting one’s daughter with a sense of personal autonomy would be deemed persuasive or even relevant to people who promote abstinence-only sex education and female submission to male headship. However, mine might.

Anyway, my point being that I always felt better armed with information, even at a young age, and feel that the way my parents handled medical issues left me with a sense of my own autonomy.

Which I think is important.

Rebekka, I think you and I are in violent agreement about what is the optimum way to explain stuff to kids.

However, I’m not quite sure how you get from a remark about all kids not necessarily being super-curious about vaccinations to a presumption that I meant that such kids will also not be curious about sex. I don’t think that’s an accurate reading of what I wrote at all.

Nor do I think that any parent deciding to delay discussion of the specifics of sexual transmission of HPV is necessarily refusing to discuss other more general aspects of sexuality and reproduction with their children. Why do you assume that the two must be bundled inextricably?

but I also think you’re insulting the intelligence of a ten year old if all you tell them is that they’re getting a shot.

I’m not suggesting that I personally would refuse to tell them anymore. I’m saying that’s all that’s necessary to start with. If/when they ask questions, each parent decides what they’re comfortable imparting . (I’m presuming here that most ten year olds would have already had questions about the vaccination procedure in general asked and answered about five years earlier when getting all the booster shots required for entering school).

But not every parent is like me, and not every child is supercurious at age 10 either.

If the vast majority of kids aren’t super-curious about sex, how babies are made, the whole kit and kaboodle, by the age of 10, I’ll eat my best hat. Feathers and all. If they’re not asking questions, it’s because they’ve picked up from their parents that it’s a subject NOT TO BE DISCUSSED.

If my kids ask questions, I answer them. If they’re not curious, I tell them the bare bones just so they are informed. If I tell them more than that when they’re not curious, they just tune out, so what’s the point?

Good for you. I wasn’t suggesting kids needed minutae about how the vaccine works on a molecular level, I was suggesting they deserve an honest explanation of why they are getting the vaccine and the disease it’s supposed to prevent. I understand your point about not keeping on explaining if the kid clearly isn’t interested, but I also think you’re insulting the intelligence of a ten year old if all you tell them is that they’re getting a shot.

Did you require detailed symptomatic breakdowns of lockjaw before you deigned to receive a tetanus booster during your childhood? I certainly didn’t. All I needed to know was that it was a shot against tetanus which was nasty.

Yes, actually I did require detailed explanations of why I was getting shots and the diseases they prevented. I knew all about the symptoms of tetanus, and the fact that the bug that causes it can live in the ground for over a hundred years, and that cutting yourself on something dirty is when it’s most likely to happen, and that it “locks your jaw” so you can’t eat, and that’s why it used to be called lockjaw. Similarly, I had other diseases explained to me. My parents were always kind enough to take me to my own GP for my shots, so I never had to line up for them at school, for which I am profoundly grateful, and they involved me in my own medical decisions as well – when I was 11 and was supposed to get a rubella shot, but had already actually had rubella, they let me chose whether I’d rather have a blood test to check whether I was actually immune to rubella, or whether I’d rather just have the shot. I chose the blood test, and turns out, you get much better immunity from actually having had the disease than you do from getting a shot (which is probably an argument for immunising girls at 11 or so, rather than at 18 months as happens now). Anyway, my point being that I always felt better armed with information, even at a young age, and feel that the way my parents handled medical issues left me with a sense of my own autonomy.

Which I think is important.

“Why don’t the policemen have shields?”

They don’t need them.

“But what if a robber shoots them?”

There are no guns in Australia. You aren’t allowed to have a gun.

“But what do the police have?”

They have guns. They are the only ones allowed to have guns.

The 3yo pipes up at this point: “The policeman will shoot the robber dead.”

No, the police are nice – they keep us all safe. They don’t shoot anybody.

“If they had shields they would need to be about this thick”, the 6yo resumes, indicating a bullet stopping width of about 2 inches.

Which might be enough – depending on the material. And the calibre of the robber’s weapon. But I’m no expert.

I remember thinking that I didn’t need it as I would never ever get pregnant or have anything to do with boy germs.

But I got it anyway.

Boys germs or the needle?

My poor kids have to endure a mum who would rather give it to ‘em straight than leave them to hear about life, sex and drugs etc from the playground.

They even grew up with a pop-up facts of life book in full anatomical splendor, though the cardboard pop up penis is a little flaccid these days.

I kid you not.

Sister Angela was a fearsome woman; you better hope she’s not reading your comment.

We girls were told it was to stop us from having “deformedâ€? and “retardedâ€? babies and shown pictures of such children. (this was a country towm Catholic primary school, early 1980s.)

Some one less sensitive than I might have said:

So they showed you a group picture of the nuns or your class photo then?

I remember thinking that I didn’t need it as I would never ever get pregnant or have anything to do with boy germs.

But I got it anyway.

I can’t see why HPV/cancer/warts should be much different.

tigtog is about right. tell them what they want to know – not much more or less. That is respectful of kids. It’s harder to do than just disgorging all the information an adult might have accumulated, which while easing the adult’s anxiety is likely to either raise the child’s anxiety or overwhelm them or at best just go over their head.