Sunday op-heads

Piers Akerman refuses to remove his asshat. There’s a lot to laugh at here.

Rudd’s determination to recycle faces from the past, such as Simon Crean and Bob McMullan, while bringing in people of no experience, such as former rock star Peter Garrett, makes some Labor MPs extremely pleased that he has insisted that he will have ownership of the frontbench.

Matt Price goes the frame. Just to balance the books, Price should know that he’s no Jack Marx.

Forget universities, unions and other traditionally fertile pastures and head straight to the local primary school. Survey the playground at lunchtime and look for the kid sitting by himself, short pants pulled up around his armpits, listening toThe Seekers’ Greatest Hits on his iPod.

Ideally, he’ll be called Poindexter or Gerald, and be reading a Dungeons And Dragons comic through thick glasses. Sign the kid up: he’s probably a future prime minister.

From Poindexter to F-bomber. Tim Blair thinks Rudd will eventually appeal to the VB drinkers of Australia.

The big question of 2007: When will mild Dr Jekyll reveal his inner Mr Rudd? And where? Best bet would be Parliament but there’s a chance Mel and Kochie might one morning encounter Rudd raging over some haberdashery-based insult (”F. . . you, Mel! I didn’t even know what a f. . .ing cufflink was when I was graduating with first class f. . .ing Honours in Chinese language and f. . .ing history at Australian National f. . .ing University!”). Maybe he’ll go berserk at a fellow Mandarin speaker for incorrect tonal pronunciation. Possibly the entire Government frontbench will provoke him to rage by wearing bow ties during Question Time.

As he usually does, Paul “I call it gravitas” Kelly curdles everyone’s milk first thing Sunday.

Now, there will be tremendous resistance to this from inside the party and inside the union movement, but I think, frankly, there’s a very strong argument for it. I think it makes sense for Rudd, as the alternative Prime Minister, to put more distance between Labor’s IR policy and that of the trade union movement. And if you ask yourself what is the single action that Rudd could take that would most alarm John Howard, I think it’s changing the IR policy. And if you ask, further, what is the single action Rudd could take that would establish his authority as leader and his economic credentials, I think it’s changing the IR policy.

Cribbing from Andrew Bolt, Miranda Devine reviews the movie industry.

So few people actually paid to see it that it doesn’t even register with online movie industry bible Box Office Mojo. Is the FFC desperate to lose money?

“The Book Of Revelation ticked all the boxes,” says my friend. “It’s anti-white male and a feminist empowerment film. If you brought in a script about ethnic lesbians in wheelchairs it would get funded in two seconds.”

Box office receipts for Australian movies plunged to an all-time low in 2004, to 1.3 per cent of total box office, down from almost 10 per cent a decade ago. They have only recovered slightly since, with the help of Kenny.

Fresh from starring in his own box office hit on You Tube, Glen Milne actually sounds sober.

When it comes to Howard, Rudd will also have to be careful in his analysis. So far his attack has centred on Howard as the sharp, short-term political operator who’s only interested in getting through to “nine the next morning”. That’s ultimately unsustainable.

The three big markers in Howard’s career — the GST, the Iraq war and the sale of Telstra – were carried against the tide of popular opinion.

In an otherwise pro-forma column Jason Koutsoukis treats us to this little snippet.

The nation was also introduced to Julia Gillard’s other half, Tim, a rugged chap who came dressed in a gray vinyl jacket, dark pants, fawn leather shoes, his shirt hanging out and the general demeanour of a man who had just managed to crawl out of Chasers Nightclub in time to make the early flight to Canberra.

Not the conventional political consort, but a real person at least and, judging from the look of admiration in his eyes, one with a heart as well.

After all the flak Gillard has copped for being unmarried and childless, it was good to see some evidence that she has a life outside politics.

Andrew Bolt? Well he’s such a thundering idiot you get dumber reading every passing sentence.

And Peter Garrett becomes the spokesman for Conservation. He needed to be promoted, but putting him in charge of the party’s green agenda risks adding impression that Labor under Rudd is just on the same old Leftist crusade, from industry intervention to finger-wagging eco-preaching. New leader, old Labor. Big talk, timid scratch-my-back action.

It must be hard work churning out all this pontificating and opinioning.

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21 Responses to “Sunday op-heads”


  1. 1 saintNo Gravatar

    Heh thanks for the round up. I do think however Kelly is on to something about IR reform (although according to one Sat oped, Howard will paint himself as the status quo and Rudd as the destabiliser on IR come election when IR changes would have been inplace for nearly two years. But to me that suggests he is vulnerable on this because it’s where Labor has rocked the electoral vote a bit). I’m thinking simplification and rationalisation – perhaps under the banner of new federalism. Hundreds of extra pages of legislation under Work Choices barely rates as simpler IMHO.

  2. 2 MHNo Gravatar

    As he usually does, Paul “I call it gravitas� Kelly curdles everyone’s milk first thing Sunday.

    A better description of Kelly I have never heard.

  3. 3 Graham BellNo Gravatar

    Phil:
    Thanks for the round-up. Why is it, after reading this post, the old saying “People get the government they deserve” came immediately to mind?

  4. 4 Tony.TNo Gravatar

    I’m just jealous they get paid for all that “pontificating and opinioning” while us bloggers get diddly AND squat.

  5. 5 Christine KeelerNo Gravatar

    That’s most unfair Tony T. Piers occasionally musters the enrgy to shift onto his other buttock occasionally. I am aslo led to believe that once in a while he may even pick up a telephone, if only to order more Chinese.

  6. 6 PhilNo Gravatar

    Yep Graham, my point in doing this is that we get the media we deserve, especially Kelly, as big a windbag as Beazley ever was.

  7. 7 pre-dawn leftistNo Gravatar

    Thanks for the summary Phil. You have confirmed for me yet again, that I dint miss anything important by avoiding all these dickheads today.

    Cheers

  8. 8 david tileyNo Gravatar

    There is one difference between Bolt and Devine on “The Book of Revelation”. It is about a group of beautiful women who capture, rape and torture a man.

    Bolt may have stopped off at the marine store for a considerable quantity of strong cord and a copy of Ashley’s “Book of Knots” on the way home to his wife.

    By contrast, Miranda would have been tempted to…

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!

    In these grotesque images is a cult film that would need no government money and make lettuce from DVD sales for a very, very long time.

    —————-

    Stupid ratbags. They know the FFC exists to fund high risk investments. The easy ones go out to private enterprise; the industry lobbies claim the the government’s tax provisions make that much too hard. Better if the right wing f***knuckles concentrated on helping private enterprise to fund these obviously profitable films….

    ——-

    I supported the career of Melbourne director Matthew Saville while I was at the AFC. Development money for a film which eventually the AFC, SBS and a couple of private companies funded. Matthew went on to make “Noise”, which I script edited. He has been doing good work on television dramas, using that experience. All very commodity driven private enterprise market place investments.

    Now “Noise” is going to the Sundance festival, the only Australian film in competition this year, one of sixteen from around the world. A veritable temple of free enterprise.

    I know how Bolt and Devine would respond to that anomay in their simple minded universe. They will pretend it doesn’t exist.

    ———–

    Compare the strike rates of government supported films in Australia with private enterprise projects. Guess what? Government wins, hands down.

  9. 9 ZoeNo Gravatar

    And that vile feminist film “The Book of Revelation” was based on a book written by a …. white English bloke. Called Rupert.

  10. 10 CliffNo Gravatar

    Wait… its a feminist movie because it depicts women torturing and raping a man???

  11. 11 LauraNo Gravatar

    According to Miranda’s shadowy “friend”, who I can divulge is called Mr Winkies and lives inside an upturned flowerpot at the bottom of the garden.

    Nobody but Miranda can see him.

  12. 12 Captain WackyNo Gravatar

    It must be hard work churning out all this pontificating and opinioning.

    Whereas interspersing a bunch of random quotes with vapid one-liners is an absolute piece of piss.

  13. 13 PhilNo Gravatar

    Absolutely Cap’n wacky……………..some boring another blog written by tenured old farts who often remind me of Frank Devine recently called it slagging off.

  14. 14 NabakovNo Gravatar

    “It must be hard work churning out all this pontificating and opinioning.”

    “Whereas interspersing a bunch of random quotes with vapid one-liners is an absolute piece of piss.”

    You’re so right! It’s dead easy grabbing others quotes and comments and framing them with a vapid one liner.

  15. 15 NabakovNo Gravatar

    “It must be hard work churning out all this pontificating and opinioning.�

    “Whereas interspersing a bunch of random quotes with vapid one-liners is an absolute piece of piss.�

    “You’re so right! It’s dead easy grabbing others quotes and comments and framing them with a vapid one liner.”

    And then some smartarse will come along and reframe your framing of someone else’s smartarsery.

    The trick is to get in first before they do.

  16. 16 NabakovNo Gravatar

    Or come sardonically and knowingly second.

  17. 17 NabakovNo Gravatar

    And then when you realise you’re in danger of metamorphing up your metarse, you change the subject to picking up for five bucks, a best of Steve Miller CD.

    I’d quite forgotten how many great driving with girls on drugs songs he wrote.

  18. 18 PhilNo Gravatar

    Heh! It’s blogging, I think some people forget that it’s our god given right to spin, twist, rip, mashup and slag off to our heart’s delight.

  19. 19 LauraNo Gravatar

    Where is this Steve Miller bargain to be had Nabs? JB Hifi?

    I want one.

  20. 20 The Pompatus of LoveNo Gravatar

    Aw, big ole jet air-line-ah
    Don’ kerry me too far away-ay.
    Naw, big old jet air-line-ah
    Cuz it’s he-ah that ah got to stay.

    Although I think personally, Mistah Arlo Guthrie put it better when he sed…

    Comin’ in to Los Angele-eeeeez,
    Bringin’ in a coupla keeeeyyyzzzz,
    Don’t touch muh bagz if you pleeeeaaazzz….

    The bags were, ya know, for Alice. Remember Alice? It’s a song about Alice. And the restaurant…

  21. 21 I wanna reach out and grab yaNo Gravatar

    $5 best-of, that is.

    Spill it, Nabs! What store?

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