There were stormy scenes in Parliament yesterday during debate on the Howard Governmentâs latest anti-Asteroid legislation – the National Security â Defence Against Extra-Terrestrial and Other Threats Bill, 2007. During his speech introducing the Bill, Defence Minister Brendan Nelson had to contend with a literal meteor shower of opposition interjections.
âThe purpose of this Bill,â? said Mr Nelson, âIs to provide this Government with the ability to defend the Australian polity â the Australian people and the land on which they live â from significant threats of extra-terrestrial origin. It is the position of the Howard Government that we will decide what falls on this country and the circumstances under which it falls.â?
The Billâs most controversial provision is for an âasteroid and meteorite exclusion zoneâ?, comprising the Australian mainland and territorial waters and various island territories â such as Christmas Island and Ashmore Reef. According to Dr Nelson:
âThis legislation will send a clear message to the entire cosmos that Australia is not a soft target for falling rocks. Such rocks as do enter Australian airspace from the direction of outer space will be deflected, for processing in Papua New Guinea or Nauru, under arrangements similar to those already in place for the offshore processing of asylum seekers.â?
Dr Nelson dismissed critics of the bill as âobjectively pro-asteroid.â?
In the game of cosmic billiards, Dr. Nelson appears to be setting the spheres up, so that his Ptolemain Masters may score at will with perpetual cannons.
Dr. Nelson refers to his initiative as the Lindrum Manoeuvre, leaving hapless Australian Earthlings no alternative but to change the rules later this year.
Woww…
I wonder if the Libs can control what falls on them later in the year?
Please forgive me for being ignorant, but I am not in the country, and tend not to read the SMH or other news websites…BUT
Please tell me that I have just lost my irony detector and that this is in fact a huge pisstake. Please.
Quick, call on Howard publicly to bring the troops home by Easter Rudd.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,21271860-401,00.html?from=public_rss
It’s clear to all thinking people, we’re just exacerbating their problems with our culturally insensitive military imperialism. This has been another typical international fiasco, which wouldn’t have happened if we’d listened to Gough and the Portugese.
We need our troops home to deal with threats in our region. eg Mike Rann needs them to fight the gang of 49 in Adelaide’s burbs.
What say the left liberal progressives, with a whiff of their brave new world to come [link]O
The choice is clear. You’re either with us, or you’re with the universe.
I know I’m being a bit too trivial, but there’s an apt “demotivator” at despair.com, which spoofs motivational posters so common in offices.
“Wishes”
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it’s really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you’re pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor.
Here’s a link to all the posters, which us sarcastic types will get a good giggle from: http://www.despair.com/viewall.html
BTW: Shouldn’t we be sidling up to the Chinese for rock-zapping? They’re the ones who’ve most recently demonstrated the capability! Oh, I forgot, we’re planning to go to war with China someday because of the new SPAWAR base in Geraldton (and Pine Gap, etc).
Oh, and more sarcastically: Brendon Nelson was so supportive of the “Intelligent Designers” when Education Minister he probably doesn’t believe in asteroids and the rest of the New Science since Galileo, and even if he did, the newtonian physics required to zap space rocks doesn’t quite gel with the flat-earth theory the god-botherers will be introducing next year. This government is SOOOO good at ignoring the best scientific advice for ideological reasons.
Brendan Nelson:
After doing all the hard work, now the COW is squibbing it on clearing up the “dead-enders”.
This is contemptible defeatism that can only embolden our enemies.
If we want to stop the asteroids from coming we should get our troops out of the asteroid belt. It’s simple.