If scaryjust a liberal stooge Peter Hendy, channelling Dick Cheney perhaps, refuses to rule out the option of a pro-WorkChoices ad campaign (though a moment’s consideration of what a great success “protected by law” was might make him think agan), let’s help him out by composing a slogan and a jingle. After all, the poor old business lobby must be so strapped for cash what with the need to disinvest and liquidate assets so as to hide them under the bed from the redsRudds, they probably can’t spring for a decent advertising agency these days.
NB: You may find some inspiration from these words from St. Thomas More, someone I’m sure Tony Abbott has heard of:
When I consider any social system that prevails in the modern world, I can’t, so help me God, see it as anything but a conspiracy of the rich to advance their own interests under the pretext of organising society. They think up all sorts of tricks and dodges, first for keeping safe their ill-gotten gains, and then for exploiting the poor by buying their labour as cheaply as possible.
Ps: No cash prizes will be awarded. Management considers that “non-monetary rewards” are better for team building and more consistent with our corporate culture. (Directors’ fees, of course, are hard earned.)
Unlike the heads of other employer organisations, Hendy doesn’t even make the pretense that he is independent from the Liberal Party. (See his piece in today’s AFR which uses the scripted rhetotic of “union bosses”). Hendy was parachuted into the job straight from Peter Reith’s office, and he hasn’t put a bee’s dick’s width of distance between himself and the government.
If Labor wins the election, it’s difficult to see what future he has at the top of the ACCI. Rudd and Gillard could, with complete justification, simply refuse to deal with him, while conducting extensive dialogue with the much more professional BCA and AIG.
hmmm, how about:
“WorkChoices – just be thankful you’ve still got a job you ungrateful wretches”
no? too wordy?
“WorkChoices – great for business leaders and fuck the rest of yous”
yes, I think that’s the one.
no jingle but maybe the ominous music from Prokofievs Romeo and Juliet.
“Work ’til death for Anzac day”
Little Johnnie rang us up,
he told us what to do.
We must inform the public,
my dirty friend, that’s you.
You cleaners, choppers, factory men,
you diggers down the mine
You’ve never had it oh so good,
So here’s your prize so fine.
(chorus)
You must work ’til death for Anzac day,
You must sign your life for an AWA,
You must work ’til death for Anzac day,
No sick leave rates or holiday pay.
No seeing your kids on their birthday,
Just work, and death and Anzac day.
(repeat)
How about… “WorkChoices: Unemployed is a choice!”
Easy. Just steal the “Choose life. Choose a job…” part from Trainspotting and stick a Workchoices logo on top.
IM ON UR TELLY, CHOOZIN UR WERKS
In dayglo outlined caps, over a blurry jpg of a fat cat.
definetly need cute cat pictures
its a must
Workchoices: choice, what choice?
How about “Workchoices: Your work, Our choice”,
or “Workchoices: All the right choices already made for you”,
or “Workchoices: Arbeit Macht Frei”.
That last one’s prolly a bit below the belt, but hey, it works for me.
‘Arbeit Macht Frei’ works for me. And it opens the door to ‘Kraft Durch Freude’ as the Coaltion slogan for the election campaign. But maybe we should avoid anything suspiciusly foreign, and go for something simple: Workchoices: wouldwelietoyou?
Can someone tell me what Keating actually meant by “pre-Copernican obscurantist”? Was he saying that Howard subscribes to an outmoded anthropentric worldview that he is shrouding in mystery? You could say a lot of things about WorkChoices, but I think that description could stand a bit of explanation before smugly tagging it with such an opaque label.
He sounded like a suburban autodidact who had been thumbing through his Word of the Day calendar. To my ears, his “obscurantist” was a non-standard pronunciation as well.
When your boss is your only mate,
AWAs are really, really great.
Bismark, I’d be happy to. (It’s anthropocentric BTW) Pre-Copernican is a shorthand way of portraying his agenda as out of step with the times, from an outmoded paradigm, out of touch with reality, and trading in dogma. Obscurantist – a person who deliberately prevents the facts or full details of something being known.
It’s lovely compact well-chosen piece of work, no? A million miles from the Pays to Increase Your Wordpower thesaurus rifling of a certain suburban solicitor.
Workchoices: All Work and No Choices
On the Teev last night, whoever it was (Middleton? Brissenden?) translated it into “flat-earther”. PJK’s version did it for me.
Guise, I like! How about Annie Lennox to do a version for wee John?
Would we lie to you?
Would we lie about money?
Now would we say something that wasn’t true?
I’m asking the workers
Would we lie to you?
My friends – know whats in store.
No sickies anymore.
We’ve canned holidays
We’ve given bosses more
Watch us kicking
Unions out the door
(believe us – We’ll rake it rake it in)
Tell you straight – no intervention.
To your face – no deception.
You cannot make
A pact with ACTU
Got all I can take,
Now I’m paying you.
(believe us – We’ll rake it rake it in)
Chorus repeats.
(watch us – watch us! ooh yea)
Or while you’re doing Annie Lennox, you could do a handy little re-write of “Sweet Dreams”…
Some of them want to use you;
Some of them also want to use you.
Some of them want to abuse you;
Some of them also are interested in the whole abusing-you thing, as well.
Work choices: making the choice to
keep you in your placeAustralian prosperity!At the risk of putting an otherwise entertaining thread off-topic, may I ask how many commenters here are employed under AWAs?
PERCHANCE he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that.
Gareth: guilty. Now ask me if I was actually give a choice.
“Can someone tell me what Keating actually meant by “pre-Copernican obscurantistâ€??
Bismarck,
perhaps if the “suburban autodidact”, as you refer to Ex-PM P.K., had described The Rodent as “an old bull-shit artist”, it would have taxed you less.
Such crassness was OK in Keating’s Ramrod managing days. Before he allowed himself to be seduced by the Fine Arts. Now Paulie’s in his Post-Placido phase. To wit, his recent cameos with the lovely turns of phrase.
I feebly put my hand up. That said, I copped that other WorkChoice that’s existed for a few years now: either cop it in the arse from King Solomon (hint, hint), or cop four months of non-payment from Centrelink. The latter isn’t my idea of fun (especially after five months off the nation’s breast thanks to an Austudy cock-up), while the former isn’t too bad as long as I only work weekdays and take my public holidays off (for which, thank heavens for the Fair Trading Act). And I still went and joined the union anyway…
As for slogans, I can only think of:
* WorkChoices – anything but!
* The wages of sin are death – but the wages under WorkChoices are worse!
Work Choices – because you can trust your employer.
Maybe one more entry, but only because it sounds good:
* WorkChoices? Pig’s arse!
Bismarck
You are correct. Keating actually said “obscuranist.” He missed a ‘t’ And you are right; it was a ridiculous and meaningless outburst. I cringed for him. He reminded one of those boys in Year 12 who had just learnt how to pronounce three and four syllable words, and were so excited they used them wherever they could; appropriate or not.
Sans script, Keating was always a bit of disappointment in the rhetoric department. Of course, even avec script, Howard is dire.
Guise, thanks for that. Has it had any real effect (positive or negative) on how you go about your day to day work? And what industry (broadly) are you in?
“even avec script, Howard is dire.”
So, even with a script, Howard is to speak? Sounds reasonable to me.
Sorry, couldn’t resist. (Jumps back on nuclear-powered pogo stick, blasts off to the Zone of Silliness.)
Dire is to say, not to speak, Monsieur Le Nitpique.
Doncha go pedantin’ without your petard insurance, lest ye be hoist on exploding fartgas!
Je me demande, M. FDB, si vous avez raison completement.
If I say a thing out loud, then I said it; but I also spoke it; and I also talked. And when I ‘have a talk’ with someone, I’m also speaking to them, and the things I speak are also things that I said. Translation’s a funny thing that way.
Segolene Royal: “Lorsque j’entends Nicolas Sarkozy dire par exemple qu’il faut liquider ‘mai 68,’ je pense que c’est un vocabulaire tres violent…”
He said it; but he was speaking when he did so (unless he wrote it in, say, an editorial, but my guess is that since it’s a campaign, he spoke it). In any event, apparently he used ‘un vocabulaire’…
–What are you reading, Hamlet?
–Words, words, words.
That’s why it’s important to do it properly!
The little dessicated coconut / pre copernican obscurantist has responded with a belated and hypocritical change to the work choices legislation. My wife is a call operator with Optus. Her AWA – a heady $14 an hour. As Paul Keating mentioned, we don’t need an American (Chip Goodyear) to tell us about social equity.
Is there any lower form of life than a suburban autodidact?
Not even an amuse bouche is sufficient to summon up a gob of saliva fit to spit at a suburban autodidact.