Oh noes! We forgot to do this in February!
So, it’s time again to condemn. Here’s a sixteenth open condemnation thread. What’s getting up your goat this month so far? Which evil political, cultural, social, musical, religious and other phenomena need condemnation? (Or loud denunciation?)
You can condemn anything you like except Juliette Lewis’s band Juliette and the Licks who are touring Australia in April. But you can condemn Brendan Nelson for his party of compassion hypocrisy and the punditariat for writing it up as “necessary pragmatism”, “end of Kevin’s honeymoon” etc! You could also condemn Juliette Lewis for over-acting in Natural Born Killers, and that movie for being a dumbing down of the 90s wave of American indie films. But I do condemn myself for thinking her band would be rubbish… Judge not, lest, etc…
I condemn Israel’s right to exist. Since when do countries have rights?
Boring.
Sunday night. Be less political. Thread meant to be fun. I condemn you.
And I condemn you.
Since you’re getting into Roman numerals here, perhaps put the whole project on a more ecclesiastical basis? eg: the opening thread comment starts with
“Pope Condemn XVI issues the following edicts.”
Now that’s out of the way, I damn the following to perdition.
The BBC for once again fucking up with DRM.
Robert E. Lee for not realising after Gettysburg that the North was gonna win. Instead, through a misplaced sense of Southern chivalry, he talked Jefferson Davis into prolonging a bloody war they’d already lost. Apparently he was a very nice bloke in person though.
The BBC again. For not getting “The Sandbaggers” out on DVD. I do hope to be corrected here.
Whoever is in charge of fire drills at the building where I work. The power to tip us all out onto the street at a moment’s notice has clearly gone right to his pointy little plastic hard hat head. “Do not use the the lifts.” I bet he’s not on the 34th floor.
The Democratic Party for once again displaying their uncanny ability to snatch disaster from the jaws of victory. Not that I hold much of a brief for one of the shonkiest and most incompetent
centralist parties in the Western World but fuck it, you should be able to run a dead gay illegal immigrant against the Republicans these days and win. Apparently though it’s a bit beyond the Dems now as their two candidates tear eachother apart while Bob Dole curses McCain’s luck.
I also condemn H J Heinz who acquired Lea & Perrins, the key manufactuers of Worcestershire sauce. It just don’t bite anymore. Or maybe my tongue just got thicker with the years.
And I condemn Air for not living up to the standards set by Moon Safari.
A certain large ginger tomcat who suddenly decided to play snag the RCA lead this afternoon during a crucial moment will not escape condemnation either.
I also condemn
the rape of Sabine women
the wreck of the Mary Deare
the taking of Pelham 123
the pursuit of DB Cooper
and
the crap mix on Their Satanic Majesties Request
I condemn Ken Burns for that Bl-oody voiceover and anyone who uses Tom Hanks to play a WWII vet.
I condemn my neighbour for offering me his Ducati 600 for cheap since he’s moving to Sydney. Now I want one. Bad.
I condemn David Rubie for thinking a 600 Ducati would be loud enough.
I condemn the Australian newspaper, the Opposition hacks preying on the fears of seniors, carers and disabled all last week. Now to less serious stuff -
Ch.9 for another anti- union beat-up.
Those Middle-class complaining about rising cost of living, petrol, interest rates etc, who didn’t say a word in 11 years while Howard was bashing the unemployed, disabled and single mothers. Now they know what it feels like. I do not condemn those Middle-class who spoke up.
My local garbage collection for tagging an anonoymous wheelie bin outside my block of flats with a threat not to collect garbage if there are two more offences.
Armidale Council for privatising garbage collection and the local gas.
Whoever tore up a bill in my letter box and left the pieces inside it. The police are looking into it and if your DNA is on record, you’re gone!
I condemn the song of the sausage creature, David Rubie, because I can hear it too.
Nabs
I bet he’s not on the 34th floor.
I condemn that gold-plated door on the 31st floor that won’t keep out the Lord’s burnin’ rain.
the rape of Sabine women
the wreck of the Mary Deare
the taking of Pelham 123
the pursuit of DB Cooper
The Tay Bridge disaster.
I condemn Fullers for buying Gales brewery, closing it then dumbing down the best Gales beers and dropping the rest.
I condemn, contemn, denounce and villify Monday mornings.
I condemn references to The Flying Burrito Brothers, because now I have to dig out the album and give it a spin instead of doing my work.
I condemn Ron Sexsmith, Eleanor McEvoy, Truckstop Honeymoon, Hayes & Cahill, Lucy Wainwright-Roche, Ruthie Foster, The Brewster Brothers, Elana James, and most of all the wonderful Eddie Reader, for not playing 3 or 4 hour sets at the Blue Mountains Music Festival.
So much brilliant music and so little time…
There’s a long line of Chinese Communist Party “leaders” I wish to condemn - sorry this can’t be lighthearted - beginning with Mao and the invasion of Tibet in the 1950s.
Free Tibet!!!
**********
I condemn Richard Gere for a malapropism (which might not sound strange to American ears) when he said a few days ago, in pronouncing on Tibet: “the Chinese Government mistreats the Dalai Lama, and he’s like Jesus to the Tibetans”)
Mangled Analogy of the Month ??
I condemn we naive folk who say things like “Free Tibet!!!”
….. without explaining all the nuts and bolts of loosening Chinese rule, in practical terms, with the people’s best interests at heart, on the ground, in the trenches, at the coalface, in the light of trade relations, in an Olympic year, working families, world’s best practice, open and accountable, transparent, regardless of geopolitical realities, with no reference to Bismarck or the Hundred Years War; and without considering some rock gem the likes of which will never be heard again blaring out over the heights of Llasa,
… until Tibet is free
Do you mean the actual event or the famous poem about the event?
I condemn the Adelaide weather.
*Puts more ice cubes in bath*
Actually, I don’t just condemn the Adelaide weather, I also loudly denounce it.
I contemn and abhor - in advance - any and all arguments for the Chinese subjugation of Tibet (which may be) put forward by our Second Lenin, who so recently commanded that Fidel C was only right and proper in seizing power for 49 years; said Second Lenin having been invited to justify Pol Pot (and didin’t), but now has the opportunity to support the butchers of Tian An Men Square (a.k.a. the mighty and victorious Conqerors of Tibet, ruling under the Mandate of Heaven)
Pavlov’s
When I was a kid in Melb, we had “heat waves”. We’ve got one now, but it’s NOWHERE near as bad as yours.
I condemn Adelaide’s weather.
They say we get Adelaide’s weather a day or two after Adelaide has discarded it: not this time.
We had 41C down at Inverloch (beach in Gippsland) yesterday. That was bad enough…. whinge, moan, condemn
I condemn - dangerous comets and black holes and exploding novas and other really scary things rumoured to be going to destroy the earth from outer space because they have a bad sense of timing.
I condemn Barry Adamson for taking so long to tour Australia.
I condemn Kevin Rudd for being more interested in saving whales than protestors in Tibet.
I condemn the cross-over line between terrorists and freedomfighters ’cause I don’t know where it is.
I condemn the Pope for wearing a dress rather than pants.
If he were to wear a kilt i would immediately withraw the previous condemnation.
Has Worcestershire sauce really deteriorated? Are they holding back on the anchovies ?
I hardly use it much these days except in V8 with Tabasco or slop a bit into the corned beef cooking stock.
I condemn Canadians. They know good and damn well what they did.
I condemn drunken fourth generation Irish Australians for singing rebel songs on St Pat’s day, getting the stupid words wrong anyway, and looking blank when you suggest a toast to Michael Collins. I condemn populist history toadies who insist on glorifying the grubby cop-killer Ned Kelly. I retrospectively condemn the hypocrisy of ‘Judeo-Christian civilisation’ for failing to once deploy the neologism ‘Celtofascism’ during d’Troobles. I redundantly condemn the euphemism ‘The Troubles’. I condemn the choccy-box ‘emerald blind’ of blarney, green rolling hills, mist and good craic that conceals the far more gripping Irelands: the black hearted yarrrlpers at the moon, the ancient aristocracies, the space mystics and stone movers, celestial clockmakers, the damned and damning…I condemn Sinead O’Connor for becoming boring and blaming motherhood. I condemn the career-killing parodic fetishisation as a Prophet-Minstrel-Bard-Genius of Shane McGowan on the primary basis of his being permanently pissed. I preemptively condemn any similar fetishisation of our own Nick Cave on the basis that he has killer burners and a gunslinger’s mo’ and a deep black gaze and a lean willowy disposition of flesh and petulant hips and a touch that turns everything cool and a voice that sings of God and Satan in an Old Testament way that sends a-boilin’ the very marrow of your rapt and sinning spine….no, wait, scratch this condemnation. (What was I thinking…)
I condemn, publicly confront and challenge to a duel James Nesbitt as a proxy for the script of the last hour of ‘Jekyll’, which after promising so much became evermore hokey, hysterical, corny and (in his accent) leprechaun-lame as the finish line loomed.
Lea’n’ Perrins seems still to be up to standard FXH, but mind you, that bottle has a use by date of 1993.
You are so right about Jekyll, Jack. What a load of cobblers pasted together with an air of pretension and some fine acting, particularly the actress that played Clare. Sigh…
= Jane from Coupling. Sigh.
But yeah, I thought it was really disappointing. I condemn BBC postmodernisations of 19th century horror novels. Anyone see the awful Dracula they did a few years back?
I condemn drunken fourth generation Irish Australians for singing rebel songs on St Pat’s day,
St Paddies day. Ah. ‘Tis a really good day to be Italian begorrah begorrah.
I condemn Ron Sexsmith, Eleanor McEvoy, Truckstop Honeymoon, Hayes & Cahill, Lucy Wainwright-Roche, Ruthie Foster, The Brewster Brothers, Elana James, and most of all the wonderful Eddie Reader, for not playing 3 or 4 hour sets at the Blue Mountains Music Festival.
So much brilliant music and so little time…
I second this condemnation and apply it to about half a dozen other artists there. I condemn myself for being too wrecked to blog about it today ….
I condemn Jack Robertson for condemning Shane McGowan.
Bless me Father, I have sinned
I got pissed and I got pinned
And God can’t help the shape I’m in
Down Rain Street
I sat on the floor and watched TV
Thanking Christ for the BBC
A stupid f*cking place to be
Down Rain Street
I took my Eileen by the hand
‘Walk with me’ was her command
I dreamed we were walking on the strand
Down Rain Street
That night Rain Street went on for miles
That night on Rain Street somebody smiled
*sobs*
*puts half the ice cubes in the whisky and the other half in the bath*
Thank-you Kim…
I condemn the organisers for putting so much great music on the one week-end that it was impossible to see everyone. Yes Amanda, I’m having trouble doing anything worthwhile at work today, or less than usual.
I condemn the lack of a long weekend this weekend. Oh hang, on, yeah it’s Monday not the weekend. I condemn work.
Btw, adrian, her name is Gina Bellman:
[link]
Yeah, Gina B, she was a bit sensh, Pirate Queen. She usually is. And I could have done with a lot more of the smart-mouthed trio of bitch-fem gumshoes, too. Moments of snazz in a morass of over-wrought dreck.
I condemn Dr Cat for not suckin’ it up. The gentle mild caressing honest improving kiss of the dappl’d Antipodean sunlight, I mean. Not the scotch.
It, meanwhile, condemns Dr Cat for bruising its feelings with great chunks of Arctic break-off, pointing out that it’s a scientifically-proven fact that with the aid of a subsonic frequency imbellulator humans could (if they, like, cared less) hear certain single malts screaming in agony when a particular temperature-based quotient drops below what is known in the industry as the EPS Point, or, colloquially, the TAM (’Titanic Absolute Minimum’), on account of the unavoidable disaster that will follow should it be treated with cavalier disregard.
For shame.
I like some scotches cold, but the dilution bothers me. I used to have a set of 12 stainless steel cubes (now lost in my recent house move goddammit) which I think should be marketed by some savvy firm. Mine were scrounged by a mate from his engineering job - best 21st present I got.
I’ve heard of people using 15-20mm stainless steel bearing balls, FDB. Of course you have to clean them pretty thoroughly for oil. And be *very* careful of your front teeth.
Yeah, I had a couple of close calls. They lull you by staying sunk, then when you upend the dregs…
I condemn the ALS blog for the funniest thread, ever.
Where are the female libertarians?
Put off by the prospect of hanging out with strange men with very limited social skills?
FALSE DICHOTOMY
I HAS IT
#45 - From the ALS thread:
Bollocks.
A causality/correllation thing. Libertarianism attracts people from economics/finance fields. People who go into these fields are usually Mathsheads. Maths heads are more often socially inept than other heads.
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As the graphic novel Piled High And Deep has it. A young female engineer post-grad agrees with her friend that given the gender ratio, “the odds are good.” However sadly she explains “the goods are odd.”
Don’t forget the gun nuts Adrien. Maths geeks get plenty, gun nuts get nothing.
Funny David - I just posted a very similar reply to Adrien’s very similar comment at Catallaxy.
Here’s another possible reason:
[link]
But, on the other hand, that would explain why most humans of any gender or sexuality aren’t interested in the LDP.
In fact I don’t know how anyone can stand reading all that drivel. The comedy value wore off ages ago when the tedious and repititive nature of it became clear. I loudly condemn it.
Although when you have GMB, JC and JG together on the same thread…
[link]
I condemn myself. Will stop now.
Women are from RL, men are from ???
Ok, I doubly condemn myself.
Kim wrote:
IRL MMORPG - some kind of lolcat thing?
I swear I only visit the libertarian blogs occasionally for cheap laughs, like Conservapedia (which I condemn as a real time waster in the LOL stakes.)
Women are from RL, men are from ???
Planet of the Dick-size Wars.
(IRL MMORPG = In-Real-Life Multi-Member Online Roleplaying Game)
C’mon Kim there are much worse threads than those.
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From David’s link I found Conservapedia’s Evolution Article:
So it must be wrong. Apparently Ben Stein is bringing out a movie out - [link] -(Al Gore-like I s’pose) all about how the cruel Godless liberals are oppressing worthy scientific work that ‘proves’ Intelligent Design’. Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?
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And I condemn all that.