I guess that’s obvious. How useless is it? ‘Highly’ is my assessment.

I just sucked back the most delicious chilli beer from the Sunshine Coast Brewery.

And discovered a bunch of tomato songs:

http://www.roadtosurfdom.com/2008/06/20/tomato-music/#comments

Sorry IB, I’m w/ Jo on the choc & lic combination. Hmmm…why does that sound like somethin’ out of a Mickey Rourke, Kim Bassinger film?

I condemn your peculiar disbelief in the righteousness of the chocolate-liquorice combo.

I condemn the world for putting the keys to recruitment offices in the hands of talentless, arrogant 20somethings.

I cndemn the peculiar but widespread belief that liquorice and chocolate are a nice combination.

I condemn the mouse that electrocuted itself inside my washing machine for causing a strong but worryingly untraceable smell of hot electricity for several days.

For you.

Usually works for me.

I agree on the Emerson condemnation too, the bloody Henderson Aggrandisation Clinic needs to be shut down for gross offences against public decency. And I’ll throw in a random condemn against Piers Akerman, just because.

I wouldn’t touch her with yours.

Following a comment on the WA gas post wherein I said I was coming to this here post, may I slightly modify my original comment from that thread thus…

I hereby condemn the use of the word “crisis” used to describe any event or situation that involves all but the most minor inconvenience or loss to any particular group of people, be they WA residents (as I am) or something entirely different (eg Queenslanders). I blame the “Asian Economic Crisis”™ of 1997 or so for setting off the preponderance of crises in the modern era.

Se acabo el extrano, con quien, tarde
la noche, regresabas parla y parla.
Ya no habra quien me aguarde,
dispuesto mi lugar, bueno lo malo.

Easy:

See the cab outside, go quietly you ‘tard,
A nosh is regrettably all she talks about offering
You have no chance to lower her guard,
Dispute with a luger, while good, is not recommended.

Here’s a bit of “Trilce; No. 34″ for those of you who might give a toss… (sorry no diacritical marks, I’m an idiot when it comes to hatemail, I mean html…)

Se acabo el extrano, con quien, tarde
la noche, regresabas parla y parla.
Ya no habra quien me aguarde,
dispuesto mi lugar, bueno lo malo.

…

Se acabo todo al fin: las vacaciones,
tu obediencia de pechos, tu manera
de pedirme que no me vaya fuera.

Y se acabo el diminutivo, para
mi mayoria en el dolor sin fin,
y nuestro haber nacido asi sin causa.

Maybe if the spirit moves me I’ll post my own exceedingly indiosyncratic (hey!, that’s a typo, natch, but Cesar woulda LOVED it!) translation of this poem in another day or two. But until then, you can condemn me for being a chickenshit!

– Frank O’Hara, “A Young Poet”

Well now that the famous ‘noise of art’ has nearly abated from my system (temporarily) after completing the first part of a very troublesome, large bit of work, I’m in the mood for some lengthy cultural condemns. Do feel free to scroll straight past this if you must, or even delete it if need be.

(Some of these are reverse-condemns, which basically amount to endorsements, sorry if I’m not properly angry ‘n bitter enuf for this thread!)

I condemn the fact that Husker Du’s “Chartered Trips,” Genya Ravan’s (admittedly over-cooked but still amazing) “Jerry’s Pigeons,” and The Mats’ “I.O.U.” and “Alex Chilton” are not on some official government short list for Greatest Rock n Roll Song of All Time (naturally they’d all have to stand in line behind every single track on “Ramones Leave Home,” which is without question the greatest rock album ever recorded, and I condemn anyone who argues the point). I also condemn the fact that The Replacements song “Skyway” has not been given some sort of O. Henry Award for Greatest Joke Ever Told in a Rock N Roll Song; notice how he saves the punchline until the very last final word of the lyrics. Genius. (Those of you in sunny Australia may need to look up what a skyway is, and why they’re necessary in Minnesota, in order to get the joke.)

I also condemn the normally-accepted running order of songs on Hendrix’s “Electric Ladyland” album; quite by accident, I’ve discovered that the whole record is vastly more satisfying if you play it in basically reverse song order, starting with “Slight Return” and ending with “Crosstown Traffic” (I recommend that you delete the first two idiotic tracks, which I condemn, as well as the moronic “Little Miss Strange” and the banal “Long Hot Summer Night,” which I also heartily condemn).

I condemn the fact that I am no longer in touch with an old friend of mine, a very strange fellow for whom English was perhaps a fifth or sixth language, who spoke in odd cadences that sounded almost exactly the way that Jimi sounds on “Crosstown Traffic”.

And plus I condemn the fact that no enterprising symphony orchestra that I know of, has turned Edgar Winter’s “Frankenstein” into a kick-ass, fully-orchestrated, guaranteed moneymaking crowd-pleaser of an encore. Think of those pizzicato sounds! Those duels between strings and woodwinds! Ho-lee shit, mon.

To be continued…

As is ginger, as per that comment at #60 by Fine (I’m sure she meant to say ‘ginger’). So I guess a big strong brandy and dry ginger ale would be a double fix.

That sounds like a fine idea PC. Must add a brandy bottle to the list of fixers. I condemn myself for not having a fully stocked liquor cabinet medicine cabinet.

(come to think of it, the other side of the family used to swear by brandy and brown sugar, and actually *did* have a bottle of brandy in the bathroom, covered in talcum powder).