Maybe they were inspired by the Harold Holt Swim Center, or maybe they wanted to get in before Grover Norquist’s happy crew named it after Ronald Reagan. In any case, the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco wants to ensure that George W. Bush is remembered in a manner appropriate to how the majority of San Franciscans felt about the man.
As they put it:
As we near the end of George W Bush’s presidency, we think it is important to select a fitting monument to this president’s work. On matters ranging from foreign relations to fiscal and environmental stewardship, no other president in American history has accomplished so much in such a short time.
To honor George W Bush for his eight years of honorable public service, the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is sponsoring a ballot initiative this November.
It reads…
Should The City And County of San Francsico Rename The Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant the George W Bush Sewage Plant?
We believe this is an appropriate honor for a truly unique president. If you think so too, join this grassroots movement to rename this important and iconic landmark in his honor.
While it’s uncertain, it seems likely that they already have enough signatures to get the question put to a referendum at the next local elections. It may well pass, as well: a ballot initiative calling for the impeachment of Messrs Bush and Cheney got 58% support in 2006.
We, of course, have our own set of recently retired politicians who would surely appreciate being immortalized in some public facility. Any suggestions?
Getting serious instead of being a laughing stock would be my suggestion for the good people of San Francisco.
I don’t which section of the galaxy you hail from, Howard C, but I can assure that here in crusty old Washington DC, no one is laughing at San Francisco. After all, they’re not the ones sharing a zip code with Mr Bush.
There must be scope for
* a Flugge Wheat Bag statue somewhere in Baghdad
* a simple plaque in Sydney on the very spot where MarkL thumped the taxi driver
* a sombre wreath outside Iguanas
* a (cricket) coaching program in (overarm) bowling named after JWH
I think the Kiwis have already commemorated the Underarm Incident
* Billy Snedden Memorial One-night Stand plaque outside a certain motel
* Tasteful installation of a (replica) Stained Blue Dress in main street of Little Rock, Arkansas
* Plinth with Iron Bar outside Wilson Tuckey’s former pub
* Giant Rat statues at places particularly associated with the great Labor Rats: limit of One Statue per Rat [conditions apply]
The Kim Beazley Jr. Wind Farm
The Bracks-Carr-Beattie Running Trail
The Peter Costello Waiting Room
The John Winston Howard Race Track
I’m with Ambigulous—a Mark Latham/Belinda Neal anger management course would be superbly appropriate.
The John Winston Howard Detention Centre.
The Tony Abbott Family Planning Clinic.
Actually, J-Ho already has a suitable memorial right here at UNE - a small plaque just outside the hairdresser. I think he opened the newsagent or something.
The Hon A Downer School for Guide Dogs.
The Milton Orkopou…
No, I can’t do it.
Howard C,
No offense, but you have to have a bit of a sense of humor about these things, whether or not we like the man or not, he was elected by majority and led a legitimate rule of the United States (voting ‘irregularities’ aside). For people who didn’t like the way he ruled, a backhanded complement like this is appropriate, though largely trivial in nature (in other words, grow up San Francisco).
As for suggestions for the Retired/Retiring how about these for a starters.
The John Howard Waste Reclamation Center, Canberra, ACT.
The Peter Costello Prize, Awarded to the longest Serving Vice Captain of an Australian Sporting Team
The Amanda Vanstone Detention Center Cafeteria, Christmas Is. (Serving Authentic Italian cuisine)
The Merri Rose Center for studies in Feminism in Politics.
The Troy Busswell Public Works Department, Pearth WA. (Focusing solely on recovering furniture)
The Jacky Kelly Paper Recycling Plant, Penrith NSW.
And a new one …
The Tomb of the Unknown Opposition Leader (The Nelson/Beazley Shrine), Queanbeyan, NSW.
That should get things rolling, and apologies in advance to anyone who thinks my jokes are a bit poor taste.
PinkyOz
The John Howard Truth and Justice Commission.
The Peter Reith Childrens’ Swimming School.
Brendan Nelson Centre for Tertiary Finance.
Costello/Abbott National Tertiary Students’ Union.
Frank Sartor Institute for Property Development.
Morris Iemma Institute for Better Rail Transport.
The Andrew Peacock Tanning Salon?
A sewage plant is useful and, if properly managed, environmentally beneficial. Whereas Bush is neither. I think naming one after GWB would be an insult to sewage plants across the globe (especially the one in Werribee Vic. of which I am particularly fond.) I’d bronze a Hummer and put it on a plinth (one fewer on the roads, hurrah!) and let that be his memorial.
They are actually considering it! I’m all for some light-hearted fun on a blog, but we can’t really have a sewerage plant named after someone because they don’t like him. It’s offensive. Regardless of his performance, he is the President of the United States.
Sure, I would love the Paul Keating Toilet block to adequately remember a Prime Minister with a witty juxtuposition of the man and the high regard he held this country (and said so), but it’s just inappropriate. All the suggestions above are very funny, but they ain’t going to happen. This one may happen! It’s unbelievable.
Howard C and Heather — It needn’t be a mutually exclusive proposition. San Francisco can remain a laughingstock (and don’t worry, it is) at the same time that Mr. Bush gets kicked in the shins — but not very hard, seeing as the kick comes from essentially unserious people. I see it as win-win, really.
As for Australia, may I suggest the Kevin Rudd Center for Chinese Cultural Understanding With the World’s Tallest Spy Antenna Poking Out of the Roof.
It occurs to me now that before much longer, Mr. Bush will have to turn his remaining brain cells towards the creation of his presidential library; and that for this project to be a bona fide library, he will be needing at least one book.
I will gladly donate my copy of “Oh! The Places You’ll Go!” to this endeavor.
(And seeing how he is so much more fond of Mexicans than he is of Americans, that he has tried his best to donate our country to them, I will also happily send along my copies of “Pedro Paramo,” “Jose Trigo,” “The Labyrinth of Incompetence, Corruption and Stupidity,” and Fuentes’ “Where the Air Is Clear (i.e., Not in Mexico)”. Oh, and plus my copies of Beto Hernandez’ Palomar stuff, so at least he can look at the pictures.)
Well, yairs. Faeces are chock-full of potentially valuable nutrients.
PS
How about the Howard C. Memorial Punchline Explanation Hotline?
Iraq is the only memorial that GWB needs.
Let us just hope that he does not create another one, in Iran, before he leaves.
The Tony Abbott “Slave to the Rhythm” family daycare centre.
The Julie Bishop Hypnotic Therapy Institute.
the Peter Garret memorial Kangaroo abettior
‘I will gladly donate my copy of “Oh! The Places You’ll Go!” to this endeavor.’
well he is not getting my copy of “Marvin K Moony Will You Please Go Now” tho i have a spare copy of Richard the third he could have: “Now is the Winter of our discontent . . . “
The Pauline Hanson Centre for Unexplained Phenomena
The Malcolm Fraser Lost Property Office (Yes! We Have Trousers!)
The Robert Ray Institute of Sport
The RJ Hawke Poverty Shelter, established 1990
a Country Party Memorial Fossil Museum
a Robert Askin Speedway
the ALP Strike Breakers Military College
a Qld Communist Party commemeration of Menzies 1961 election victory
The Ted Baillieu and Peter Debnam memorial swimwear museum.
The John Brogden Centre for Religious studies.
I’ve really got to stop, I going to get myself in trouble, but here goes.
The Bob Katter Center for National Unity, Cairns, QLD.
The Paul Lennin Memorial (of a) Forrest Statue, Launceston, TAS.
The Francis Michael Forde PM for a Week Initiative.
The Andrew Bolt Tropical Hotel and Resort, Wilkies Land, Antartica.
The Peter Beattie Emergency Repair Service, Brisbane, QLD.
The Alexander Downer Nylon Production Facility, Woodforde, SA.
The William Bligh Excellence in Spirit Production Award.
The Mike Kaiser Center for Electoral Transparency Studies, Logan, QLD.
The Di Fingleton National Email Archive Submission, Canberra, ACT.
Ok, I think I’m done now, I Promise.
PinkyOz
The Russ Hinze Centre for obesity research.
Kevin Rudd Mini-Saunas. Perfect for sweating the small stuff.
It really is one of those situations where if you can’t say anything nice about someone …
Unless you are willing to honour someone by naming something after them, don’t name anything after them. And I mean monuments and buildings here, but stuff like Murphy’s Rule or Tommy John surgery.
Sorry Howard C, but “He was president of the United States” in itself is NOT grounds for treating him with respect. He has after all done a crappy job of it! Perhaps public ridicule of leaders who have screwed up big time might prove to be some sort of disincentive.
Respect doesn’t come with the office, it is earned by performance. GWB has earned shit. Don’t have any objection to him getting it myself.
The NSW Theatre for Re-Runs of “The Addams Family” - oh, sorry, that’s ALP State Conference…. Fester! Fester! Fester!
The Andrew Peacock Souffle School
The Henry Bolte Academy of Tact
The Ros Kelly Medal for Excellence in Whiteboarding
The Eternal Flame - memorial to the Unknown Politician’s Mistress
High Court Memorial Underwater Viewing Platform for Bottom-of-the-Harbour tax schemes
Mural of the Perpetual Smirk (central location in the electorate of Higgins)
The John Howard Kirribilli Shelter for Homeless Politicians.
The Bob Menzies Pig Iron Factory.
The Billie Snedden Happy Death Memorial Centre.(I couldn’t stop myself.)
Trust me, you need to treat the office, not necessarily the man, with respect. Naming a sewerage plant after a US President debases the office. What sort of country would name a sewerage plant after one of their Heads of State?
I wasn’t arguing his performance record, merely the fact that he held the office.
Howard C - I’d agree with you, except for the fact that he probably shouldn’t have held the office in the first place. While 2004 might’ve been a legitimate win, he wouldn’t have even been able to run in 2004 if it wasn’t for Florida in 2000.
Phooey to that. Respect somebody for what they’ve achieved with that office, not the fact that they’ve held it.
At the risk of some derision from the others, I’m going to agree with Howard C. Naming a sewerage plant after him is sorta disrespectful to the office. Wouldn’t a better option be to just not name anything after him?
The Peter Hollingworth Child Care Centre
The Tony Abbott Institute for Mesothelioma Research
The Boris Yeltsin Rotgut Distillery in Ekaterinaberg, Russia. Located next door to the Nicholas II Memorial Firing Range.
That is downright wicked Down and Out! LOL
Some context here. Grover Norquist has led a bunch of movement conservatives on a crusade to name ridiculous numbers of things after Ronald Reagan. This strikes me as a bit of a nose-tweak back.
LOL Down and Out!
The Joe Stalin Centre for Judicial Independence
The Leonid Brezhnev Insitute for Sleep Research
The Bolshevik Ballet
The Kim Il Sung Institute for the Study of Hereditary Rule
The Mahathir Centre for Recalcitrance Research
and the
2008 Troll Doll
[multiple winners]
Gracious thanks to GW, who understood what I was trying to say.
In Australia we have the right idea. We don’t name stuff after people until after they have shuffled off this mortal coil. And then we name everything after Menzies, Monash or Deakin anyway. Or Curtin.
I think Kim Il Sung’s dead, and Stalin seems to be, and I’m pretty sure Down and Out’s Nicholas II is gone to his maker, so SOME of our suggestions seem to meet your requirements Howard C.
John Monash specialised in engineering, coal and soldiering so that covers a freeway, a university, a highway, a banknote, ummmmm
Who was this “Menzies” person, Howard??
The Andrew Bartlett beer garden.
The Alexander Downer Institute for the study of Alexander Downer.
Both the Menzies Wing of Monash University and Menzies College, LaTrobe University were named before Sir Robert ceased to be biologically viable.
But then again, we are talking about Monash University and LaTrobe University here.
“The Alexander Downer Institute for the study of Alexander Downer.”
Tops!
And no, there is an increasing trend in OZ to name things after the living. I find it creepy and in the quite common case of footballers yet-to-fall-from-grace, it’s simply a bad idea.
Yes, the late unlamented Princes Park, home-base for the Carlton football Club, once boasted a John Elliott Stand.
Was its name ever changed to the Richard Pratt Stand?
Carlton Football Club would be well advised to name this stand the Carl Williams Stand. At least the club knows that this chap will not get himself into further legal trouble for the next 30 years or so.
Well, I’m torn between disrespecting waste treatment plants, and thinking how appropriate it is given the popular nickname for the president Bushsh!t.
And the other suggestions are all a hoot! Too bad for the people with sense-of-humour by-pass.
“In Australia we have the right idea. We don’t name stuff after people until after they have shuffled off this mortal coil.”
What a silly thing to say. Whitlam Square, Gough Whitlam Park etc etc etc. I know the old Gough is getting on a bit but he ain’t dead yet!
I’m sure I remeber a few things being named after Fraser as well but can’t remember what they were.
“Trust me, you need to treat the office, not necessarily the man, with respect.”
Seriously, Howard C: why? Some things associated with the Presidency creep me out, regardless of who ever holds the office. For example, what’s with the mandatory clapping at the State of the Union addresses? That’s a little too much all-hail-the-Great-Helmsman for my taste. Standing respectfully for the (wo)man would be sufficient, I’d think.
““The Alexander Downer Institute for the study of Alexander Downer.”
Tops!
seconded!!
[AFL WARNING]
Katz you have a point about John Elliott and Richard Pratt; but don’t be so sure about young Carl, e.g. he could threaten people from jail, assault someone in the woodwork room, run some dodgy scheme in prison, etc.
Good thing Gary Ablett Sr never disgraced hisself, eh?
The Peter Reith Institute for Advanced Telephony
The Billy Snedden School of Horizontal Studies
The Russ Hinze Institute of Omnipotence
Marky Mark Latham’s Gymnasium
The Bronwyn Bishop Ladies Hairdessing Academy
In reverse order:
RuddCentre - The Special Place For Special Future Special Adults.
The John Winston Howard Möbius Power Walking Track (construction under construction)
The Keating Konservatry (No shirt, no open-toed attitude, no admittance).
The R.J. L. Hawke Microbrewery and Casino (After 10pm, knock three times and ask for Richo).
The Malcom Fraser Inland Lighthouse (glaring weekdays between 1pm and 4pm)
The Big Whitlam - on a clear day you can spot Sydney’s sewers from the nostril view platform. We recommended you book in advance.
Gorton! - The Musical. Or musical statue.
The John McEwen official commemoration packet of cigarette papers.
The Harold Holt take a wild fucking guess why don’t you public recreation facility.
The Sir Robert Menzies Memorial for those who remember Sir Robert Menzies. Now home to a major colony of fruit bats…left in peace at last.
The Chifley. A connoisseur’s fine rubbed shag tobacco, lightly marinated in a good Rutherglen tokay and lightly spiced with Evatt paranoia. Only available by appointment with with your memory.
The Frank Forde beer coaster. It is now on eBay. No minimum reserve.
The John Curtin Everybloodything. What lead ship in the class of any publicly fundedinfrastructure hasn’t been named for John Curtin?
OK then HMAS Curtin, Aus’ first aircraft carrier since the glory days of HMAS Melbourne sinking everything within maneuvering distance.
The Arty Fadden Memorial Burp.
Oh fuck it. Every PM of consequence from now on down already has a shitload of crap named after them.
Although the Alfred Deakin Adultery Medal for oversexed pollies is just sitting there as an idea, waiting for the right sponsor. Looking at you here, the Eros Foundation.
Bugger it! How could any of us have missed this one?
Big Mal’s Dry Cleaners. “Get Your Daks Back!*”
*offer void in Tennessee.
There is a Richard Pratt Stand at Princes Park. I initially thought it was named after champion South Melbourne Full Forward Bob Pratt. It’s a different stand to the former John Elliot Stand.
My comment was in generality. We don’t name electorates after former PMs until after their dead (Fraser was named after someone else named Fraser). All the suggestions above, that are intended to be purely hypothetical and humourous are fine with me. My objection is this one is actually on the ballot and will be voted on, therefore could possibly happen.
awwwww c’mon Howard C! This is Australia’s most influential blog. Already, Council employees, State Govts, and major sponsors are rolling up their sleeves to jolly well get on with it and prioritise most of the above in ongoing budget allocations or steering committees or reference groups.
It’s gone way past workshopping - that was done here on LP - it’s into strategic implementation now, and won’t the nation be better for it? Yes indeedy: another win for working families!
Thanks for the info Howard C.
That will necessitate TWO name changes in less than a decade.
The Carlton Football Club Honour Roll is beginning to look like the Great Soviet Encyclopedia, which used to be changed by edict overnight, causing harried librarians to paste the new truth over the old truth.
Howard C & Katz
The name “John Elliott” HAS been removed from the satand at Princes Park, has it not?
Last Friday on radio, John Elliott was defending Mr Pratt in the wake of certain charges being laid. The burden of his argument was that you should leave a bloke (Pratt) alone if he had worked wonders with an under-performing footy team.
Ah, Victoria! It’s a different world…..
Katz - Monash does have a Menzies Wing. They specially chose the building most likely to fall over. Built on a reclaimed swamp, flat to the prevailing wind, it required additions within 10 years due to the lean. The state building inspectors actually refused to enter it in the 1990’s due to the fear it would collapse. There is a cupboard of measuring equipment on the fifth floor documenting the slow lean into the Monash mud.
And you think San Fran is extracting the Michael.
Yes, indeed, while the Pratt Stand still stands and is still named Pratt, the John Elliot Stand was renamed in 2002. I think it was renamed the Presidents Stand, but I am happy to be corrected (as always!).
One of the things that went wrong with the American voters’ defence against the Great Lie was a piece of rhetorical logic which went: the President said it so it must be true, because the President is the President and Presidents tell the truth.
Lean on this cherry tree and think of your favourite modern Pope.
Dr S
I heard that they built half of that “wing”, were running out of money, and suggested to the Federal Liberal Govt that it could be named after an Australian PM if the $ to complete it were provided. Cunning or venal, you be the judge!
dylwah included this proposal:
a Qld Communist Party commemeration of Menzies 1961 election victory
So is it true dylwah? Was the last Liberal member to be elected, enabling “Pig Iron Bob” [he of the Communist Party Dissolution act and so much more] to squeak back into power, really elected on Copmmunist Party preferences? Did their ticket really put the Liberals above the ALP?
I had thought it might have been another groundless myth. Partly because Jim Killen (said elected Liberal) claimed repeatedly that Menzies sent him a telegram: “Killen, you are magnificent!” after they both scraped in, but apparently said telegram was entirely imaginary.
BTW, was the Queensland CP separate from the CPA? Was it the only pro-Menzies CP in Australia?
Queensland was the only state to elect a communist to Federal Parliament. During WW2.Fred Robertson, I think his name was, but I might be wrong there. In the Townsville area.
For the rcord. Here’s a piece of mindless political pettiness. When the University of Western Sydney was opened in NSW during the term of the Greiner Liberal Government, they rejected a suggestion that the uni be called the Chifley University. It still ieks me. Yet another reason why I hate the Liberal Party.
Yes Paul, on both counts.
But is it true that CP preferences in Qld helped to elect Jim Killen in 1961? “I think we should be told”. Come on, the Cold War’s over: you can tell us now.
The Richard Alston 404 Error page crafted at the Australian Institute of Information Architecture and Web Design Failure in honour of the 4 million dollar website that never worked.
Um, well, I think that we shuld understand that, chortle, this is not really appropriate, snark, behaviour…. Fuck it.
.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
The John Elliot ‘Pig’s Arse’ Institute of Biogas Research.
The John Howard Institute of Swimming Skills for Prospective Boat People’s Children.
The Dolly Downer ‘Fishnet and Fuckwits’ of the Century Institute
The $Sweety Institute of Invertebrates.
The Bronwyn Bishop Islamic Headscarf Design Institute.
The Black Jack McKewan Institute for Dairy Product Imports.
The Jackie Kelly Islamic Prank Institute.
The Brendan Nelson ‘Blut und Boden’ Simpson’s Donkey Curriculum Study Institute.
The Brendan Nelson Museum of 2007 Vintage, Hornet Jet Fighters.
The Janet Howard ‘Tenants in Common Perpetuity’ Evictee Victim Institute.
The Peter Reith Waterfront Rottweilers Institute.
The Tony Abbott ‘Wire Coathanger’ Birth Control Institute.
The Phillip Ruddock ‘Amnesty International Badgewearers Phychosis’ Institute.
The John Anderson ‘Man From Ironbark’ Intelligence Study Institute.
It was renamed the “Heroes” Stand in a fit of pique after the members kicked Elliott out for mismanagement (the heroes being a bunch of supporters who raised cash to pay some of the club’s alarming debt). They didn’t give back the two premiership cups he delivered, but in football it’s always a case of “what have you won for me lately?”. Even he would concede he hung on too long there, but he’s a vain man and vain people love to be noticed. A man who believes his own bullshit to this very day.
Far from taking Pratt’s name off any stand, they’ll most likely name the new building complex after him. The members love the guy - I’ve seen longer autograph queues for him than the club’s star players. A life time of philanthropy didn’t seem to buy much goodwill once he screwed up. And people wonder why there isn’t more.
Personally I think the George Bush Sewerage Plant of San Francisco is fabulously appropriate. He’s had to clean up the left’s shit for eight years after all.
Incidentally, on dollar sweety - I was at a 40th party recently with some HR Nicolls types (erm….lets just say kids bring all types together), who were all actually rather affable personally.
Anyhoo - word is Costello was third of fourth brief in the matter. He’s since bigged it up into a core personal myth, but Im told on excellent authority that Cap’n Smirk was carrying drinks and slicing the oranges back in 85.
So, Lefty E
The Peter Co$tello Tribute Annual Award for Gratuitous Self-Inflation?
no hider of self under a bushell, he
Howard C - Saddam was the president of Iraq. Once. Did you object when they knocked down his statue? Or is it only the US presidency which is hallowed.
Of course they should name a sewerage plant after GWB. The turd.
Lefty E - that corporate memory must be why they’ve been lining up to offer $weetie a job and salary commensurate with his abilities and perceived worth …
Yep David - seems he burned rather a few bridges.