The wish would be that no abuse would happen in the first place, but if it does that they can get help asap. Don’t suffer in silence so other people suffer to.

The bastards win in so many ways.

Indeed. I don’t even know where to start with this one. Our justice system seems able to deal with crimes where there is a high individual cost; but those who commit crimes that exact a huge social cost - corporate fraudsters, child abusers - well our system handles them with a comparatively light touch.

I’d be interested in hearing from anyone who could analyse this issue from a “crime and punishment” perspective - because I’d like the bastards to stop winning for once. Let’s not forget there are psychological benefits to former victims who see their abuser brought down, and publicly.

Thanks for telling us your story. It’s sad to read it, but no doubt it’s so much sadder for you.

It’s terrible that’s it has impacted on your life so much. The bastards win in so many ways. More power to you. Bother because you matter.

My post did turn out more self-absorbed than I planned. My point was really is that abuse of children costs in real monetary terms. When kids don’t tell (or are not believed) and therefore get no support to grow into well adjusted adults the cost is borne by both the individual and the rest of society.

There are many damaged adults out here who could’ve contributed much, but instead are a drain on their communities. Even the ones who do not self-medicate or spiral into crime or homelessness. The ones who just stumble along, trying to hold down jobs, over using the health system, avoiding community involvement, and just being scared to take any risks.

I’d also like to suggest there was never any time when people got involved with what goes on in their neighbours’ houses. I keep seeing media reports asking what’s gone wrong with society when these things can go on and no one intervenes. I don’t think it’s ever been the norm to intervene. Not in the 50’s, not in the 70’s and not today.

I often ponder the economic loss of potential not lived up to, leaving aside obvious costs related to addiction and crime.

I am past 35, and it’s only the last 3 years I have managed to hold down a low level office job. As a youngster I was whip-smart and funny and sociable. Then I was raped repeatedly over the period of a few years before I was 10. Now I lived a fairly isolated existence and struggle with addiction, depression and chronic insomnia.

I often wonder why I bother.