There’s been some (rather entertaining) discussion on a recent thread about alternative names for mainstream media blogs. After all, they really are a different sphere, aren’t they? Coincidentally, and it’s a happy coincidence, a guest Hoyden at Hoyden About Town has posted a very comprehensive guide to how to attain that bloggy success you’ve always hankered after. And the rules aren’t all that complex. One of the important tips - men blog about sport and politics, and women blog about dating. However, some things transcend the gender of the writer:
Now whether a male or female writer, one simply *must* make all sorts of gender generalisations, mostly about de wimenz.
The really comforting advice is that you don’t need to write all that much at all. Just insinuate, and your fan squad will do the rest. Oh, by the way, you’re totally not responsible for that:
Step 4/ I must seek out a target audience who have insulting opinions on gender issues, and I must pander to them. I must put out a provocative sentiment, couching it carefully, then sit back and wait for the controversy and hate to ROLL in. In this way I avoid the work of having to say anything of intelligence or significance, avoid the responsibility for the vile and disgusting sentiments raised (see dredgirls earlier comment on this blog quoting a guy regarding punching his “Mrs”, see almost any days comments section on their blogs) and can rely on the joyful celebration of generalisations and misogyny to ensure that the numbers come rolling in.
This is a side issue, but I need information which Kim as a half-American thirtysomething is well placed to provide: what do Americans (I’m not sure that Australians who use this expression actually know the answer to this question) actually mean when they say “dating” in 2007? I know what it meant back in the mists of time when I used to read Seventeen magazine but what exactly does it denote these days? Is it a simple euphemism for “shagging” or is it “going out to movies, dinner etc, shagging optional” or is it “shagging with elaborate quasi-Masonic rituals attached” or is it something else entirely?
Um, 2008.
Depends which Americans, Dr Cat. For the folks I used to hang with, it meant “bonking on a regular basis but not quite partners”. Now it might have to be distinguished from “hooking up”.
A natural mistake, Dr Cat. Recently, I started to date a cheque 1998 …
However, that’s information from circa 2002. You might have to get down and ethnographic for a better answer. Evidently I’m no good at this Agony Aunt biz!
That boot is way cool.
Bearing the good advice provided by the Guest Blogger at Hoyden in mind, I suggest we LP girls (giggle giggle) write blog posts like this:
Oh my gawd girls, can boys be faithful? No, of course not so stop moaning at him and buy yourself some really hot boots. You’ll feel way hot and he won’t ever roam again.
Oh my gawd girls, your ovaries are a shrivelled wreck. Stop being such a fussy bitch and find a man before it’s toooooooooooooooo late and your womanhood totally, like, dies.
And that the boys write blog posts like this:
Is feminism turning you into a wimp? Yes. Three easy steps to bring back your manhood (may involve punching your missus).
Win your flat-chested GF a pair of bazookas like the ones found on your favourite p*rn model. Your girlfriend doesn’t even have to know about it.
Footy, booze and p*rn: Why can’t your GF stop complaining and understand that you’re busy?
PC,
A close relative of mine living in Houston put it this way:
* Hooking up (in this context) is a one off or occasional;
* Dating means regular but not exclusive;
* Steady means regular and exclusive;
* Partners means cohabitation (not smiled on in the South); and
* Engaged and married means what we would expect them to mean.
Sex is usually implied in any of these unless you are “saving yourself for marriage”.
Just as you asked the question.
Thank you, Andrew. Very enlightening.
Wow. I think I’m getting too old for this.
the only dating I have ever blogged about is the dating of eighteenth century manuscripts . And cat dating of course.
The really comforting advice is that you don’t need to write all that much at all. Just insinuate, and your fan squad will do the rest.
Like this, you mean?
(Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m saying this in admiration. I don’t know what he’s paid, but on a per word basis that must be something astronomical. And you can use all the time you’ve saved to read FHM or Little Green Footballs.)
I would have thought the favoured euphemism in Australia for bonking someone semi-regularly is “seeing”, as in:
“I’ve been ’seeing’ Julie.”
Then, of course, once you’ve been through ‘hooking up’, ‘dating’, ’seeing’ and ‘partnering’, you are ‘married’ (which ironically is the one denotation where no sex is involved, at least from my experience).
PC,
I always knew a US relative would come in handy some day.
Am I having a nightmare…?
Just kidding. Do those boots come in non-leather Kim…?
Ah yes, Vegan Wares has Female Boot Styles. A real turn on. The idea of dead cattle cut into a boot is a bit off-putting for this berry loving bear. Like lickin’ a corpse.
Best date I ever head was on Peel Island, if you can get over the fact it was a leper colony, it’s a great place to swim & meet dolphins. At least it was nigh on 18 years ago when S’ & I hit there during our first week of lust & love outside the bear cave.
I’ve been stuck between ‘girlfriend’ and ‘fiance’ since we decided to make it legal. Girlfriend sounds a bit funny now we’ve been living together for 8 years, and fiance sounds to legalese.
I’ve settled on calling her my Lady Friend. I believe she calls me her Man.
What we are “doing together” must I suppose be left to the imagination, but dating isn’t always involved.
*boom tish!*
An oldie but a goodie……how do you stop your girlfriend from giving you a blowjob?…… marry her.
(runs and hides from feminist horde with bobbitt scissors)
Sheeeeesh, and people say Freud was wrong.
Talk about a derailed thread! But very entertaining nonetheless.
Dating? Why, I am fed dates.
Dates are over-rated - go for grapes!
Sticky date pudding is good though!
Re Freud…I’d rubbished Freud one day and the very next my small son (around 6 at the time) gave a goofy laugh at the dinner table (completely out of the blue) and said out loud to all our guests “You know, when I was little I used to think my penis would fall off”. Well…what can you say to that?
Hmm Andrew? Like a child reading Whacky Wednesday I see three things wrong with this comment: First that a woman gives head to get something rather than cos she enjoys it, second that marriage is something you ‘do’ to a woman, and third the idea that feminists would do a Bobbit over a dopey joke…if feminists castrated everytime they heard a joke targeting women eunuchs would be SO this season.
I guess I’m one of those sweet old-fashioned blokes who only wants a blowjob given willingly.
Nice guys finish?
Oh FDB I think you’ve hit on a great title for a book, a song or at the very least a blog post “Nice Guys Finish”. In fact, some friends and I are trying to find a name for our band…we might have to request your permission to borrow that name!
It’s all yours, GH!
Hurrah…though you know some of my other band name suggestions did not go down so well…oh. Excuse that inadvertant punning.