Comments on: A streetcar named “arrrghhh”

By: Darlene

Darlene — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:51:45 +0000

Tim, funny stuff I don’t believe anyone on the blog will be home in fifteen minutes. And when they get home they’ll be back on the blog.

BTW, STOP SHOUTING.

By: TimT

TimT — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:27:29 +0000

*Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring BEEP!*

- Oh, hi. I’m just on the blog. The BLOG, yeah, that’s right. I’ll be home in about 15 minutes.

- I’ll be HOME IN ABOUT FIF-TEEN MINUTES!

- I’M SORRY. I’LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, I CAN HARDLY HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. THIS PHONE THING IS SO QUIET THAT…

- YEAH!

- HUH? WHAT’S THAT, SORRY?

- HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! THAT’S A GOOD ONE, HADN’T HEARD THAT BEFORE!

- ANYWAY, LISTEN MATE, CAN’T SPEAK LONG, SO HOW’S F___?

- HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! ANOTHER GOOD ONE! YOU’RE ON FIYAH TODAY, MATE!

- YEAH. YEAH. MMM HMMM.

- HANG ON MATE. JUST GOT TO GET OFF, THIS BLOG POST HAS REACHED MY STOP, AND NOW I’M JUST MOVING TO THE DOOR.

- WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT EVERYBODY IS LOOKING AT ME?

- HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! THAT’S ANOTHER GOOD ONE!

- SO ANYWAY…

(etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum…)

By: FDB

FDB — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:11:42 +0000

The problem is retards who think that because they’re having trouble hearing their phone, they must have to talk louder to be heard at the other end. In actual fact you can pretty much whisper and be plenty audible.

By: Fine

Fine — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:04:16 +0000

I can’t quite remember that being an argument for privatisation, GregM. But I don’t support the call to bring back connies myself.

When it comes to loud mobile conversations on public transport, I was on a train in France last year that had the best injunction against it. It was a poster utilising exactly the same style as Magritte’s ‘ceci n’est pas un pipe’. But instead it said ‘ceci n’est pas un megaphone’, with a drawing of a mobile phone. Very witty and subtle. Then I had to completely blow it by someone calling me and having a conversation on my mobile. Damn!

By: Nick

Nick — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 10:56:19 +0000

Yeah, I thought that promoting connies was prohibited under the annoyance laws.
No need for these pro-fare-lackeys on our profit-driven public transport conveyances!
…
(Apologies)

By: GregM

GregM — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 10:38:04 +0000

We’ve been botching automated ticketing and fare enforcement for a long time down here in Melbourne, but let’s not kid ourselves that we enjoyed some personal service paradise pre-Kennett.

Quite right BBB. My memory of Kennett’s success in selling off Melbourne’s public transport was that it would get rid of the hated “conductors”. In response the tramways union and VTHC ran the “Save the Connies” campaign which portrayed the “conductors” as lovely, concerned and altogether nice people which was so far from peoples’ experience of them that it just reinforced Kennet’s message that if nothing else came of the privatisation of public transport at least we’d see the back of the “connies” and that reason alone was enough to back his program.

By: Anthony

Anthony — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 09:57:23 +0000

The worst case scenario would be The Age taking up the cause for the return of conductors. It would be like the Clean Up the Yarra Campaign. All Very Good, let’s establish our liberal credentials, but then let’s write an editorial supporting slaughter in Iraq. Oh, and some mention of Graham Perkin never goes astray.

And Darlene at 23, the whole black humour of the situation for all of those of us on the tram listening was precisely that neither a “solicitor” nor KRudd’s apology was going to help this poor guy in the least.

By: Robert

Robert — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:56:50 +0000

That sardine in the top post picture, second from the bottom and pointing to the left, is no ordinary sardine. It is actually closer to God than the rest, and went on to become a Cardinal, to wear a hat, a bit like an apple cutting, on its head.

By: H&R

H&R — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:52:31 +0000

The Age’s nostalgia fluff is appalling when you realise it means packing one more sardine into a fourth-rate, totally shithouse sardine can system.

Human service is indeed superior service. But don’t bring it back until both LIberal parties drop the insanity of treating PT as a commercial entity.

By: Darlene

Darlene — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:31:00 +0000

Mmm, perhaps we need conductors with people skills. No perfect solution to this one. Interesting letter from the woman in Brunswick, Guido.

Wow, Brett. Perhaps he appreciated your honesty.

I often see the same young bloke chroming (on the 112, outside the free brekkie place on Brunswick Street, etc). I don’t know how long it takes to fry one’s brain sniffing that stuff, but he must be running out of time.

Smith Street isn’t much fun. One probably sees a special sort of colourful folk at Piedmonte’s.

By: Fine

Fine — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:26:43 +0000

The tram that trundles through North Melbourne also has its share of chromers.

By: Nick

Nick — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:16:13 +0000

Twice in two weeks, Tim! Same guy both times, actually. Mostly just very sad, rather than annoying. Can’t really think of many worse things to do than taking up Chateau Krylon as your tipple of choice.

By: FDB

FDB — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:09:58 +0000

The 112 wins in terms of overcrowding, but the 86 has it hands down in the freaks department.

And when you hit the stop outside Safeway on Smith Street, you get a whole changing of the freak guard. I swear they’re nodding and winking to each other… “okay, you do the muttering obscenities to nobody in particular, I’ll spill the tinny of bourbon and coke down the aisle, and Sharon here’s gonna hit her kids”.

By: TimT

TimT — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:01:37 +0000

Must have missed that one myself, Nick! It’s more common on the trains, I think.

By: Nick

Nick — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 06:45:39 +0000

The 86 is also good if you want to catch a bit of on-board chroming. Nothing like the smell of paint whilst stuck in a confined space, really.

By: the amazing kim

the amazing kim — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 06:27:58 +0000

They take $5, $10 and $20 notes

And the highest change they give is $1 coins…

The one time I tried to pay with a $20, the machine gave me change of 10 $1 coins, the remaining $7 in 20 cent pieces and the automated sign started to read “Exact Change Only. Notes Only”.

The 86 was always my favourite line.

By: Pollytickedoff

Pollytickedoff — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 05:51:47 +0000

“must have got new machines since then (as Brisbane has done).”

and sold the old machines to NSW

“We’ve been botching automated ticketing and fare enforcement for a long time down here in Melbourne”

Not as badly as NSW has been botching it, I’ll bet.

By: Bingo Bango Boingo

Bingo Bango Boingo — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 05:22:15 +0000

I must have grown up in the same Melbourne as Guido. Tram conductors in my Melbourne were often rude, unhelpful except to the most obviously helpless (ie. pensioners), and utterly indifferent as to whether patrons had a ticket during peak hour. Now and again you’d come across a real gem: helpful, pleasant to talk to, and diligent. Those types were few and far between, at least in my experience. We’ve been botching automated ticketing and fare enforcement for a long time down here in Melbourne, but let’s not kid ourselves that we enjoyed some personal service paradise pre-Kennett.

Paul/Spiros, some machines take notes, some do not. This has been the case for a decade. At train stations there has always been a mix of the two. On trams, only the coin-operated machines appear.

BBB

By: Brett

Brett — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 05:14:18 +0000

Once I was standing at the door of a tram, waiting for my stop, when an inspector asked me if I had a ticket. I looked at him, put on my most apologetic expression, and said “No, I’m afraid not.” Then faced the door again, and just got off the tram when the tram stopped about 20 seconds later. Maybe he was new, or maybe he figured it wasn’t worth the hassle. But my, how I did titter later!

By: FDB

FDB — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 05:07:08 +0000

Glad to be of service Fine. Avoiding you is the name of the game.

I don’t really feel guilty anyway, I discovered this by accident when scraping my coin jar out was my only option. Now I just buy monthlies so I can relax and read my book instead of worrying bout the babylon.