Lance Armstrong is a hell of a cyclist. But the anticipation surrounding his ride in the Tour Down Under in Adelaide is just bizarre. He’s not here to win. He’s here for a glorified training ride.
Lance Armstrong is a rider who was (and may still be) perfectly suited to the Tour de France. He excels in two disciplines. He was exceptional at long time trials, an individual race against the clock, and mountain climbing – particularly the extremely long but not ultra-steep climbs of the Tour. The overall winner of the Tour de France must be amongst the best in both of these disciplines. Armstrong trained exclusively for the Tour, practising the climbs and the time trial courses again and again until he knew them perfectly. And he had a team featuring many of the best riders in the field, who rode not for their own glory but purely to support Armstrong.
In other races – indeed, in flatter stages on the Tour – Armstrong just rode with the bunch; his particular gifts didn’t help him when the road was flat and he’s riding with other cyclists. Indeed, for many one-day races, he acted as water bottle-fetcher – domestique – for his teammates. Throughout the period where he won the Tour, the only other races of note that he won were the Dauphine Libere – a traditional Tour warm-up featuring a mountainous course, and the Tour de Georgia – the closest thing he had to a home race, one featuring a couple of challenging climbs, and one in which he might be expected to put in a particular effort.
The Tour Down Under features many things, but high mountains aren’t one of them. The biggest climb is the Willunga Hill – a total ascent of only 227 metres at the moderate gradient of 7.6%. It’s a nice little hill, but hardly the kind of behemoth on which Armstrong breaks his rivals. And there’s no individual time trial, either. Most of the stages will come down to a bunch sprint, at which Armstrong is positively pedestrian at compared to sprinters like Robbie McEwen.
The Tour will be Armstrong’s first race in three years. It’s on a type of course in which, even at his peak, he didn’t win on. And, frankly, there’s not much incentive for him to bust a gut trying; over-exerting in the South Australian heat at this time of year might throw his training schedule out of whack. At most, he might have a crack on the Willunga Hill stage, but possibly not even that.
This is the equivalent of Tiger Woods in Australia for a pre-season practice round after a long layoff. Or Shane Warne playing a charity match on a green wicket that won’t turn. He’ll sign autographs, attend dinners, and ride around in the bunch. Yes, it’s interesting, but let’s not treat it more seriously than it deserves.
I dunno Robert. If I were really into bike racing (which I’m not, although I quite enjoy watching the Tour), I’d be incredibly excited. But then, I’m probably just easily sucked in.
Perhaps the Tour goes through Hahndorf?
Perhaps its just good PR work, but he’s also been taking the time to talk a lot about cancer in the media coverage he’s been getting – using the media to push what he is interested in.
Oh no Katz! Say it aint so!
Not only that, Robert, but have a look at this from today’s Crikey Tips and Rumours: apparently it’s rumoured that
Given that it’s 41 degrees here today, if that’s true then they’ve got a lose-lose situation; their investment will either be inside with the blinds down sipping on a big glass of Gastrolyte and not taking any calls, or braving the sun to sign souvenir baseball caps and ending up on a drip in Intensive Care.
Katz, everything goes through Hahndorf.
Well, now I’ve looked and the answer is Yes!
But I cannot confirm whether on the Hahndorf state the competitors will be dressed in lederhosen riding hand-carved wooden bicycles.
I think that the tour organisers may have missed an opportunity here.
Fine
If you were really in to bike racing you’d be in 1 of 2 camps:
1. You’d realise given the mountains of anecdotal evidence that despite all the media marketing to the contrary that he’s a complete dick and a fraud. When someone responds with “I’ve never tested positive…” red flashing lights go off everywhere.
2. You’d have your head in the sand, you’d believe the whole French nation is involved in a conspiracy against him, and that the sun shined out of his every orifice.
Almost every single notable bike rider other than Lance in his generation has been implicated in doping. At present the sport is all about who can pull of the biggest lie. I don’t write off Lance’s cancer exploits because of his sporting behaviour, but when the marketing department so completely overruns the ethics department it ceases to be a sport.
On a wider note news department across the world are all on holiday at present – you can get the exact same stories on every foreign language news service. The publishing of other peoples press releases hardly counts as news to me…
Well I loves my cycling and I’m going to be sitting about 3/4 the way up Willy Hill cheering him on. It does usually split the riders (especially if it’s very hot). Should be awesome – I reckon Lance ‘ll want to send a message he’s back and that’s where he will do it.
Even if it is only a training ride, just seeing the great man in action will be something to tell the grand kiddies about one day.
It’s a scorcher today in Adelaide, as Lance’s twittering suggests. Glad it’s him and not me in this weather.
“This is the equivalent of Tiger Woods in Australia for a pre-season practice round after a long layoff.”
Well yeah, except that Tiger would be a good chance to win and a certainty to entertain (if you like that kind of thing) under virtually any circumstances.
onimod, don’t tell me our Cadel takes drugs as well?
If I were really into it, I’d probably be with Nexus6 cheering him on. Although, I’d be at Hahndorf for the occasion and hoping that Lance is wearing an ornamental cuckoo clock in place of a helmet, as he furiously peddles past.
Chris: fair point – he’ll undoubtedly raise a bunch of money for cancer research, which is one of the reasons why he’s made a comeback.
I’m not knocking Lance. I’m knocking the poorly-informed press hysteria surrounding his return. We’re not going to learn anything about whether Lance Armstrong can make a successful comeback at the Tour Down Under, because it doesn’t test him on the things that made him a champion and a star.
As for not riding, he’ll ride unless he’s genuinely injured. He’s got to ride anyway to keep up his training. But he (and the entire peloton) may well turn it into a slow (by their standards) training ride with a bit of a sprint at the end if it’s too hot. They’ve all got long seasons ahead of them.
It’s 40 plus and sunny.
Any decent Hahndorfer will greet the riders as they go past in the classically German style: nude.
“We’re not going to learn anything about whether Lance Armstrong can make a successful comeback at the Tour Down Under, because it doesn’t test him on the things that made him a champion and a star.”
What? They’re not testing for drugs?!?!
Some years ago I was in Mt. Pleasant [an appropriately named town] and asked why there were so many people hanging around the main drag.
Course it was because the Tour mob were due in a few minutes.
So I hung around for a few minutes too. Sure enough a bunch of guys on bikes flashed past in about 2 seconds and everybody starting packing up and going to home or wherever.
“Is that it?” I asked someone who seemed as if they would know.
“Yep” was the answer.
Onimod, I don’t think that Lance needed to take drugs, he is missing a testicle. Vast amounts of the, male, body’s resourses are devoted to keeping testicles ticking along. Take either or both nuts out of the equation and you have a body with an energy delivery system with spare capacity. Lance used it, well.
nice one dylwah; haven’t heard that one before
Hannah’s Dad: that’s the nature of the Tour Down Under – long road stages on flat roads produce precisely that effect.
If you want to watch a bike race live, either go and see a criterium (there’s a couple in the TDU) where they do multiple laps of a relatvely short circuit (maybe 2 kilometers) or watch them trying to climb hills (much slower, and the pack splits up).
Watching the peloton go past at 45 km/h on a flat stage is very, very dull.
Yeah I remember when I was a kid in Whyalla and cycling was a really big deal. We had several national champions, the Whyalla Gift was a major race, some international fellas would be there evry year, the name Nino Solari rings a bell. Later they got a first class velodrome [or at least we were told it was first class] and a bloke called Graham [or Graeme] Jose started out there I think.
Good stuff I used to enjoy it, partly because several of my mates were involved.
They’re doing three laps past my house in the Adelaide Hills – unfortunately I’ll be at work that day
Nexus 6…. that is why we have sickies lol… just kidding…
thanks Onimod. It is one of the things that always puzzles me about discussions of Lance Armstrong. whenever a radio report goes beyond the fact that he has wiped his nose, they go on to discuss his heroic recovery from cancer and accusations of drug use. rarely is there a mention of the treatment for testicular cancer, removal of the offending testicle. Once I heard the lads from Run Like You Stole Something on RRR, sadly no longer with us, the show, not the lads, spend at least 10 minutes discussing the potential benifits of increased performance of removing one or both nuts and then start discussing La Tour and LA without making the connection, they even reported accusations of drug use. Mind you the first discussion was conducted with a jocularity that betrayed a few . . . insecurities i suppose.
I decided to take an annual leave day in the end. The partner and I are just popping down the front with a bottle of champers to catch the riders go by. Unbelievable amount of people out. There’s probably a world lycra shortage now.
Hopefully a lot more people will be inspired to keep riding afterward.