Comments on: Dumb inventions

By: Stewart Kelly

Stewart Kelly — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 02:56:38 +0000

FB@50

You’re mad mate. Fitted is the only way.

By: Nabakov

Nabakov — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 13:41:29 +0000

When it comes to dumb inventions, you gotta admit this is the dog’s balls.

But instead of knocking those brave enough to think the unthinkable and dream the impossible dream, shouldn’t this thread also propose some alternatives?

Here’s a few ideas for the LazyWeb 2.1.

Flavoured paint.
Cat boots.
Inflatable guitar amps.
Biodegradable tombstones.
Diet Whisky.
Round dice.
Unicycle Gladiators!
Sports socks for snakes.
Powdered water.
Topless Offices.
Premium economy class.
Triple-sided DVDs.
Wifi-enabled condoms (“If you wish to proceed with this connection, please enter your credit card details now”).
Edible contact lenses.
Oh so retro datasticks made out of discarded floppies.
Home delivered takeaways.
Inflatable boxing gloves.
Oscar TM shaped vibrators.
Bacon flavoured tofu.
Alpine beaches.
Segways with four wheels, enclosed cabins and sound systems. And a trunk for storing stuff.
Washable keyboards.

By: Paul Burns

Paul Burns — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:14:19 +0000

Flat sheets? I just spread em on the bed. Don’t bother to tuck the corners in.
(Reacting to unhappy early youth where my stepmother stood over me with a ruler and continually hit me across the knuckles with it, until I had foled the sheets into the corners of the bed properly.Seriously.)

By: jane

jane — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 11:30:59 +0000

Fitted sheets are infinitely superior to stupid time-consuming untucking flat sheets. I say this as a person who has made beds for a living. They are simplicity itself to fold and bung in the linen cupboard, something I’ve been doing for many years. Hurrumph!

By: Polyquats

Polyquats — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 05:57:57 +0000

[ those fecking fridges with teh internet on them.

An internet-connected computer that serves you cold beer. What’s not to like?]

Life expectancy of computer bit: 2 years
Life expectancy of Fridge bit: 10+ years

Time spent with dead, ugly internet bit in fridge: 8 years.

By: steveh

steveh — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 01:52:53 +0000

Fitted sheets can be downright dangerous. At least when we decided the linen cupboard was perfect for wine.
The problem wasn’t so much retrieval of the sheet (in a non-folded, explosive-like state), but rather the full bottle of Merlot that came out with it.
Bloody things need an MSDS…

By: Yobbo

Yobbo — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 01:39:50 +0000

“The fact remains that if significant numbers of people started using them as a car replacement, they’d represent a major hazard to pedestrians and would clog footpaths far more than walkers do.”

Kind of like Bicycles?

By: Paul Burns

Paul Burns — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 00:50:04 +0000

My fitted sheets never stay fitted for more than one night (if I’m lucky) and I don’t do nothin’ in bed except read and sleep. (Which just goes to prove, I suppose, that books are dangerous.)

By: Ambigulous

Ambigulous — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 00:44:56 +0000

“Chicks go mad for a man who knows how to keep cool in style.”

Ahem! Take it from one who knows: they go mad ONLY if you’re ALSO driving a Segway, operated by a Universal Remote, and talking on a mobile blackberry while making hummous with a wind-powered food processor(TM)

If you can achieve all of that, you won’t be in the least concerned about being followed around by a flock of deranged chickens.

By: FDB

FDB — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 00:33:02 +0000

I resent these comments about solar-powered fans in hats.

I own one, and will be rocking it to the max this weekend at Golden Plains. Chicks go mad for a man who knows how to keep cool in style.

Although, looking at the Vic regional forecast, I’m more likely to need a rain-powered heater-hat.