Too much information, Tony? Open Tony Abbott oversharing and exhibitionism watch thread
February 19th, 2010 by Mark Bahnisch | Published in Media, Politics, Sexuality | 112 Comments
Tony Abbott bemoans lack of sex on campaign trail
* Speaks candidly about sex life
* “One of life’s greatest pleasures”
* “Almost impossible on campaign trail”
If you dare, you can “read more about sex-starved Tony Abbott at The Examiner”.
Hat tip to a Facebook friend for the question in the title of the post.
Can you please start some sort of Tony Abbott oversharing exhibitionist watch thread to keep track of this stuff?
He has no filter?
@1, laura, this one might be appropriate for it!
Seriously, what’s with this? He must be a narcissist. What does he think he’s going to achieve with all this oversharing? It’s gone beyond ‘authentic’ into ‘ewwwww’.
Post title amended accordingly, laura!
OMG, if he doesn’t take his wife on the campaign trail, who irons his shirts?
@Mindy – hahahahahaha!
Oh noes!! He wants to screw us all!!
He’s playing to the crowd. Janet Albrechtsen and Miranda Devine would be squirming with delight with each of these Abbott ‘revelations’. The more the better I say!
However he counsels against a “hair shirt mentality”. Presumably his chest hair suffices…
Typical immature leftists. Tony trys to bring new meaning to the poll and all you do smirk.
I’d like to put Tone and Vlad (Putin) on the same continent, to see if the testosterone could go critical mass.
Just an experiment …
I find all this a bit creepy the budgie smugglers the lycra cycling pants and then musing on not getting a root while touring the country. Then the bit about Jesuits and lollies and going to mass more during lent. Why is this news It screams of to me as an ego out of control. When is the penny going to drop with the rest of the country? This guy is a sleaze By the way excellent piece by Keane on Crikey today about the pursuit of Garrett which highlights again the abysmal standards of ABC news And may I add my two bobs worth; if an election was held today the Government wld increase it majority. In light of MSM narrative ….just saying
I linked to the Keane article here:
http://larvatusprodeo.net/2010/02/19/balance/
If Tony’s traveling around the country, will he need some bumper stickers to go with him?
As I poster here – this is just plain wierd …and stupid – my guess is that he just lost my 85 year old mum’s vote
At the risk of Laboring (sorry) the point on narrative v reality: http://blogs.crikey.com.au/pollbludger/2010/02/19/morgan-57-5-42-5/
Who’s job is it iron his hair shirt?
He’s starting to nauseate me, just a bit.
That’s a great article and highlights again the complete uselessness of most journalists and their inability to do even the most basic of research tasks.
Abbott’s behaving like the attention seeking obsessive he is and the media is just lapping it up. Imagine if Rudd came up with one tenth of the rubbish that Abbott spouts – it would be the end of the government or worse!
We surely deserve better.
perhaps steven conroy should censor him…?
he’s going for the sympathy vote?
DAOOSG @13, poster 6 and 7 are classics (especially the implications of subtext on poster 6).
DI(nr) probably had it figured some threads ago, when he identified where Abbott keeps his brains…!!!
That man is a worry. If we voted him in, we could compete with Italy for salacious media soundbites and visuals about our PM.
There I was thinking he was chasing the women’s vote, with a photo op of ironing a shirt, then a photo op of making scones. First (and probably only) time in his life. Now all this information about his love of sex?
Next he’ll be telling us that he loves babies and wants to settle down…
Push all the hot buttons, and open sesame? Oldest game in the book. C’mon Tone, how about something more original? :)
Bet his missus is squirming.The whole thing is becoming nauseating, and the MSM should be ashamed of themselves for their complicity in this. Christ, I am so bloody tired of hearing about this pratt and the ABC are starting to behave like the private media arm of the liebral party.
Please Rudd, sell the ABC to News Ltd. At least then it can’t claim to be independent, and we’d see no difference in the bloody content!
Can’t resist quoting this comment from my Facebook status thread:
I’m not sure Australia is ready for the sight of Tony Abbott’s sex face.
Elise – except with Burlesque-Tony instead of Berlusconi
Burlesque-Tony heh!
It’s a big change from the campaigners whose main aim is to kiss babies…
ewwww indeed
As for me, one of life’s great pleasures is not-hearing-from-Tony for a few days. How more vulgar and crude can this become?
Tone, Bill Clinton and John Kennedy could no doubt assist with advice about sex-deprivation.
Oh no!!!! Is THAT why he was late for the public debate with Nicola Roxon, lasst campaign? Ewwwwwww.
Actually, Elise, if I’m correct about the snarky post you’re referring to, I wasn’t talking about his brains, I was insulting his manhood. Still, if the budgie-smuggler fits ….
So is he gonna ditch the campaign bus for a Sandman with a “Don’t Laugh, Your Mother Could Be Voting” bumper sticker?
Christ alight I am over Tony Abbott’s penis. Don’t care if its covered in lycra or latex or inside a body, male or female
Dick Cheney’s Antipodean relative
Dick Chained-up
Nothing new to get excited about here. All Tony’s transgressions have been on the public record for yonks. I guess putting them in the context of the Ten Commandments makes them headline worthy, but more privately in the confessional we can only imagine what his Mea Culpa might consist of.
I have worshipped as my god John Winston Howard.
His image is graven on my heart, and I daily worship at his altar,
promoting his word and his Church of the Liberal Party of Australia.
I have taken thy name in vain and been generally foul of tongue.
I have profaned the sabbath, disporting myself near naked on the beaches of Manly.
I have lived an adulterous youth and still lust after carnal satisfaction.
I have stolen the rank and rewards of my colleague Malcolm Bligh Turnbull.
I daily bear false witness against Kevin Michael Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia.
I covet his Lodge though not his ass, nor his wife who is of too independent temper.
I confess that the opportunity for his assassination has so far eluded me.
Tony’s true-blue Liberal right down to his balls.
oh Patricia WA, well said
I dunno. Abbott is in the wrong party. I once was on the campaign trail in the old CPA and never had a dull evening. Even One Nation members were at it like rabbits from what I was told by someone who ‘infiltrated’ in order to write a book. I think he is right to complain. What about ole Jolly John Gorton? Maybe abbott needs a trip to Memphis with Malcolm F but he probably needs to stay away from the favourite motel of Andrew Peacock.
More please, I am starting to really enjoy his leadership of the Libs.
That was a spoof, right? Patricia WA.
RJL Hawke had a way with “campaigning” too. RJLH never lacked ego or suntan or fitness.
Speaking of narcissists… interesting contrast between Tone who exudes sexual interest, and Mr Mark Latham who as a father of young children focussed on reading to children as a campaigning theme. Positively Victorian prudery by Tone’s standards.
And was derided for it on all sides.
Oh my wordy lordy yes.
It almost makes one wish one were a journalist. Think of the leading questions one could ask him; one could lure him to saying all sorts of hideous th– Oh, wait.
The right-wing “boosterist” faction of the legacy media have all drunken deep of the Kool-Aid and are now eagerly awaiting The Rapture.
PC @37: “It almost makes one wish one were a journalist.”
The journos must be absolutely gleeful at the prospect of this year’s election trail, along with the cartoonists and comedians!
Abbott versus Rudd makes a wonderful contrast of lead characters, just MADE for hilarious comparisons.
I expect Abbott to make some revelation regarding Mrs Palmer and her five daughters. The go on about the evils of being familiar with them, having exonerated himself through his confession.
Well some people seem to be falling for it – the men on The Telegraphs blogs are all swooning over him.
This is plausible, particularly if Tone decides to address this subject whilst sitting next to Mrs Abbott in the inevitable Australian Story-ish interviews before the election.
I can imagine many older women being more shocked at this revelation than they were at the vaguely reported infidelities of Hawke or Peacock. “She’s given him three beautiful children, is going through the change, and he still demands it from her, in public?!”
Yet this won’t change the minds of those conservative women in the Ita Buttrose demo who were never bothered by sexually explicit talk, they’ll still be quietly praying for Hockey to replace Captain Caveman sooner rather than later. The man who brought the ‘A’ word back into politics is much less capable of getting free passes than Howard ever was, at least that’s what I think (would a health minister Howard have forced the parliament to overrule him on RU486? And how does that example of moral authoritarianism square with Abbott telling us that a man should proudly celebrate the ability to get his leg over?)
It’s like a 17 year old boy with a facebook account is wired to his mouth.
“Can’t be bothered with reading all that ETS stuff in the paper. Why don’t we plant some trees and stuff and that”
“My mum says that Garrett bloke used to be cool but I reckon he’s just an old bald random who’s so yesterday”.
“OMG haven’t had any for a week. Time for Tone’s luck to change”.
As Howard says, there’s no filter at all.
This is going to be one of the longest election years ever..
I think this calls for a poem:
Said Tony as his budgies flexed
“The political stage leaves out sex,”
“Your close proximity
“Excites my rigidity
“If you’ll play Eliza, I’m Rex”
Seriously, he’s an embarrassment to my gender.
A vote for Kevin, is a vote for Tony’s wife
brisbanedavey @25, you’ve just sent the worst shudder down my entire body (for want of a better word)!
Ambigulous @27, and you’ve just made it worse! Aaaagggghhh! the mental images! It’s like being made to read every Barbara Cartland 10 times without a bucket!
….or rather one of the longest
electionerection years ever, if Little Tony keeps makingadmissionsemissions on the six o’clock news, rising at every occasion and making all the shots.Megan, probably the Ralph demographic barking approval – a pair of undies thrown on a stage would do the job just as well.
I think it’s the RWDBs getting their inner homosociality ON!
Jane – so sorry but the evidence is out there
http://www.crikey.com.au/2010/01/27/like-a-virgin/
sorry jane
i will go over there and stand in the corner with a dunce’s cap on and talk to Mrs Palmer for a while but i promise that flagellation will not be part of my punishment
hey tone but RU469? kthxbye
Forget the earlier stuff about his, poll driven, contained sex life. The important part of the article is near the end, where not many would have ventured long enough to notice.
Abbott Admits, amongst other things, to Possibly Having been an Adulterer, Stealing and Future Plans to Commit Murder. As if being an egotistical prxxx wasn’t bad enough.
And come to think about it, what is even worse, he does not seem to be sure whether he has or if he hasn’t. Weird stuff, indeed.
In a parallel universe you’re a female Liberal running for preselection in a marginal seat. You’ll need a bit of training in your new role: look into a mirror and say, “I think Tony Abbott would be a great Prime Minister. He’s a great guy. Women should vote Liberal at this election because …”. If you can’t complete that exercise, don’t run.
The more you think about this the weirder it gets. Surely this is taking product differentiation a step too far.
Abbott giving up sex for lent? Typical male selfishness.
Without having sex with Tony, what lenten mortifications will be available for Mrs Abbott?
Ewe2 and jo – isn’t he dream, an inspiration! Just as well he left the seminary. With his libido and exhibitionist tendencies he would have single handedly brought the whole community to its knees. I’m sure he chose politics because somehow he’d confused elections with erections. How sad that he’s not getting any – of either.
Ewe2 your lecherous lines tempted me. A pome about our Tone! But where’s the challenge? Too easy peasy, lemon squeezy! What rhymes for erection have a political connection?
There’s pre-selection, by-election, election, objection, interjection, ejection, disaffection, defection, resurrection, to my recollection.
Sorry can’t do it. Actually, Tone doesn’t do it – for me I mean.
Maybe something about – wonders of natural selection?
The sort of guy
You know would leave you
With chronic U.T.I.
For any blokes reading this, that means Urinary Tract Infection!
Pay out and correct weight, Patricia WA@58!.
But back now to a more serious note and the Katz excellent and probing question….
Without having sex with Tony, what lenten mortifications will be available for Mrs Abbott?
Having struggled, sadly, with this one in my waking and praying moments overnight, I can only conclude, since the precious Tony is ego involved, that it would be faking orgasms.
Something I, like Father Costello that great Jesuit mentor, would advise her against. I suggest to her, in this fortunate period while Tony is away, not to have a hair shirt mentality “where we were against the good things of life” but take on a “heroic mindset” where she “went out to try to make the most of life”.
PatriciaWA, no politician has ever inspired me like Tone. But yes the -tion rhymes are deadly in themselves. joe2 makes a good point. This was going to be a playground rhyme until I realized it scanned pretty well for the Lumberjack Song! NB some of the commandments are implied. How many can you find, kids?
Tone loves to root
He’d like to shoot
He covets Kevin’s reign
On Sunday he says sorry
To lie and steal again
He’s a Liberal and he’s ok
His mum’s alright and his dad’s away!
Patricia – that is a bit sexist. I am a bloke and I know what a UTI is. Had a couple myself. I won’t go into the details as you are all so squeemish.
Its just that Tony can’t stop thinking about sex. This is something very devout right wing Catholics have problems with. Their usual solution to try and vban it for everybody else.
As the brothers woulda said if they caught him thinking like this in high school, Tony, you’ve got a dirty mind.
All those of delicate sensibilities look away now …
Burlesque Tony had a lonely balonely that stayed painfully hard for almost a day
He called up his wife, said “It hurts I’m in strife, it’s ruining my life and it won’t go away.”
She said “you oughta think of your daughters and abstain like they do”
“Forego your need, lessen your greed, conserve your seed and they will thank you”
“It will give them a lift, if you save up your gift, and present it to me very privately”
“And don’t go groanin’ and moanin’ like Onan cause you’ve hormones a plenty and can’t get a bonin’.”
Burlesque Tony said “Don’t you remember, back in December, one day without, I’m running about
My constituents have no lingering doubt that they have elected a fine upstanding member.”
She said “Hmmm, plan B, we sent a mission to petition the Pope at the Holy See.”
“To get dispensation for the sake of the nation, prophylactic masturbation
To avoid ejaculation in public, premature, and occurring embarrassingly.”
“There’s a looming election, the voter’s rejection, all because you desire a bit more sensation.”
“The Holy Writ said therein it isn’t a sin, if elections you win.”
“By spilling some seed in our hour of need, you will be there to lead.”
“But do any less well and you’ll end up in hell, other wankers won’t thank you because they’ll be there as well.”
a) Tony Abbott thinks about sex all the time.
b) Thinking about sex all the time wastes time.
c) If you waste time it means you’re not prepared to work till you drop.
d) If you’re not prepared to work till you drop you’re not a true capitalist.
e) If you’re not a true capitalist you can’t be Leader of the Liberal Party.
Higgledy-piggledy
Tony’s lonely willy,
Squished up against
A firm bicycle seat.
Restrained matrimonially,
Inhibited Catholically
How to relieve the stress -
I won’t repeat.
I have to confess I emailed Anna asking her to cut out my comment @ 58 because it seemed OTT. It was probably too late for withdrawal. Doesn’t this demonstrate how the over-exposure of Mr. Abbott by himself in the media is having a corrupting influence on our political discourse? Even senior citizens of ‘delicate sensibilities’ are becoming louche old ladies.
Et tu ewe2 – even you
Just like joe2
are now perverse.
Lying, stealing,
Coveting, killing,
Dishonouring parents
The sabbath too
All now seen
In ribald verse
Of yours
Which hitherto
Would sing of joy
And darker thoughts disperse.
.
A most appropriate cautionary word the from wise, but squibby, Patricia WA.
To lift the Tone, I give you something from The Canterbury Tales.
It would, perhaps, be more appropriate on another thread, where the budding P.M., is seen to care less for the poor and homeless.
THE MONK’S TALE
De Casibus Virorum Illustrium
I will bewail in manner of tragedy
The ills of those that stood in high degree
And fell so far there was no remedy
To bring them out of their adversity;
For certain ’tis, when Fortune wills to flee,
There may no man the course of her withhold;
Let no man trust in blind prosperity.
To lover the Tone I give you something alarmingly, uncannily relevant from Father Ted. Just so you can get a good mental picture to go with the actual picture thoughtfully supplied by News ltd. Graham Linehan is surely writing the script for this election campaign.
Surely Bromwyn or Julie could “take one for the team”?
While he may not have “yet” had the “opportunity to kill”, apparently Abbott, ex-seminarian, is quite happy to claim to have committed acts against all nine of the other commandments. Is he admitting to adultery? To coveting his neighbour’s wife, let alone the poor fellow’s ass? To have stolen? To have taken the Lord’s name in vain? Failed to rest on the seventh day,or indeed, not put in a hard six beforehand?
I don’t believe this man thinks before he talks. They call him a “plain speaker”, and a man who “says it as it is”.
He may say it, but is he saying it as he said it last time?
“The only one of the Ten Commandments that I am confident that I have not broken is the one about killing, and that’s because I haven’t had the opportunity yet,” Abbott was quoted as saying. Perhaps he might like to tell his wife which ‘opportunity’ he took, and when, to commit adultery?
Then we might see and hear some real battlelines in the Abbott household. Although, I suspect, the women in Abbott’s life have always been classier than him, and a discreet silence will fall.
Until the plain speaker rushes forwards to hear the sound of his own voice for its sake alone… again.
Hon Tony Abbott @ 70, I take it your idea of foreplay is the elbow in the ribs, followed by “‘Ey, are you awake?”
Actually, Tony should find the cycling helps with his rampant libido. When I was riding a lot myself, I found that my dick’d be numb when I got home. I eventually bought a special seat with a central groove (which stopped the blood vessels getting crushed) recommended by a bloke in a bike shop. As long as Tone has a dick-crusher seat, he should be fine!
Roger @ 63 Glad to see your elevation to Sockpuppet Laureate. Well deserved. I imagine this honour was the gift of ‘Kevvie, hard man of the right’. Take care tho’ that this ‘looming election’ doesn’t threaten your new status. Particularly if the voters’ selection is right and you’re left in dejection with Julia. No doubt her ‘hormones a plenty’ will be seeking affection and will brook no rejection.
A propos of which, @ soixante-neuf, I am sure that Julie and Bronwyn would help out, at a stretch.
Laura @ 70. You are too cruel.
It is a bit sad to see an aging man expend so much energy trying to convince us he is still a virile, hairy chested man. Billy McMahon was the last leader who put so much effort into it.
John D @74 Indeed, Tony keeps finding ways of reminding me of Billy, its unnerving, even down to the ears!
PatriciaWA @66 well I do
come tomean to bury Tony, not to praise him.I’m apologizing in advance for this one, particularly to A. A. Milne.
Tone Tone
Abbotty Abbotty
Anthony John rightly
Took great care of his budgie
Though he hit Oz at 3
Tone Tone
Said to his budgie
“Budgie,” he said said he
“You must never look out if there’s journos about
“Or they’ll think you’re my willy!”
Tone Tone
Abbotty’s budgie
Wasn’t to be put down
Tone Tone
Abbotty’s budgie
Rode to the end of town
Tone Tone
Abbotty’s budgie
Said to himself said he
“I can look out here where the coast is clear
“and a journo is not to be found!”
Nick Minchin
Put out a presser:
MISSING OR KIDNAPPED OR HIKED!
TONE TONE ABBOTTY’S BUDGIE
SEEMS TO HAVE JUMPED HIS BIKE!
LAST SEEN PEEPING AT PEOPLE
QUITE OF HIS OWN ACCORD
HE TRIED TO GET OUT WITH SOME JOURNOS ABOUT:
GREAT BIG TAX REWARD!
Tone Tone
Abbotty Abbotty
(Never answers to John)
Made clear
To Kerry O’Brien:
Budgies have minds of their own!
Tone Tone
Said to his budgie
“Budgie,” he said said he
“You must never look out if there’s journos about
“Or you’ll end up on Lateline with Leigh!”
Tone Tone
Abbotty’s budgie
Never did call in sick
Kevin Rudd stifled a giggle
Barnaby Malcolm and Nick
Looked both outraged and pleased
Quipping to party room thus:
If budgies look out where there’s journo’s about
At least they aren’t looking at us!
Father Costello here,
Look I always said Tony was an obedient lad, good listener who’d go a long way. Okay he’s not the sharpest knife in the draw but I think the the Rhode’s scholarship helped his confidence (don’t let on that I had a hand in that, he’d be devastated). The long and the short of it is he’s a good lad and he’s got a tough job and he already feels bad about himself so lay off and mind your own bloody business otherwise I’ll tell Cardinal Pell and you don’t want to upset him so you?
Roger, sorry about mixing up Kevvie and your ‘hard man of the right’ earlier. Realised my mistake as I was mentally limbering up for my latest, last and hopefully not lamented limerick about our favorite narcissist.
ewe2 I know you have done your best to make sure T.A. is now officially a missing person who will never be heard of again. Perhaps a disclaimer about this having no reference to any person living or dead might work.
An MP with physique of perfection
And muscles always in flection
Was warned he’d go blind
Unless he could find
A safe seat where the member was held in affection.
‘Tis late…One should be abed… but
Tony Abbott beckons base instincts, he knocks ever disarmingly, on susceptible doors. A tea bagger you say… I say a carbetbagger, slick, clickerty splick… snake oiler, repulsive… and, suprise, suprise, he makes one feel…rather unsettled.
The Sober Les Patterson
Any advantage he might have gotten from his comments to the Women’s Weekly have now been negated. Well done, stupid. This isn’t the last of this:
Nevertheless Abbott’s self-sexualisation does mark a signal moment in the cultural history of Australian Catholicism.
Australian Catholicism, long dominated by Irish ideas and practices, took a very stern and prohibitory stance on pleasures of the flesh, especially sex. Laura’s Fr Ted sketch is a fine reductio ad absurdum of that prevailing Irish attitude.
I can think of no other leading self-identifying devout Australian Catholic who has been as frank as Abbott has been about his enjoyment of carnal pleasures.
Abbott’s initiative may represent a reconciliation between Catholicism and raunch culture.
Stand by for the following:
Fascinated @50 & Ambigulous @51, that’s it! Where’s that razor blade? I knew it was a mistake not to have a bath installed.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/02/20/2825538.htm
OT, but here’s Abbott on the death penalty. Whatever one thinks of the issue, what’s noticeable is the nonsensical contradictions in his position.
I can’t find a link, but the spokesperson for the Sex Party reckons that with his equipment Tony Abbott would have no trouble getting a hjob as a porn star. It was on Sunday Sunrise this morning. :)
Come on Katz, the first?
Hewson: Why won’t you call an early election!
Keating: Cause I want to do you slowly.
The other ‘orrible thing about Abbott discussing the intimate details of his sex life *coming on top* of discussing his daughter’s sex lives on top of the full frontal sluggos money shots and so on, is that other politicians may be tempted to *measure up* esp. if Tony gets a *boost in the poll*s.
A great pity there isn’t someone like the great PJK in Parliament to crucify Abbott. It says a lot about the current Govt. that an arseclown like Abbott is able to smear his seminal fluids over the nation’s zeitgeist ……and it says something about the dumbing down of the entire country when the reaction has been more favourable or accepting rather than a national groundswell of ……. “take your hand off it Tony for just ten minutes at least, mate”.
Or maybe you are right Katz, this is merely some ye olde Oz-Irish Catholic thang that is finally being *put to bed*. Like the sexual revolution has started in Tony Abbott’s bedroom and the rest of us didn’t get the memo back in nineteen sixty whatever.
I think it is more managed and spun than that, Jo.
The Liberal Party image makers have asked themselves how it may be possible to turn Abbott weaknesses into Abbott strengths. Solution — sex.
Sex undermines the dominant stereotype of the devout Australian Catholic as a life-hating, censorious wowser.
Abbott ears the the spinmeisters’ memo thinks a bit and says to himself, “Paris valait une messe.”
Voila! Lycra-hugged energiser bunny todger-trawling Tone.
Katz, Paris may well have been worth a mass, but Canberra and its press gallery?
Much of the apparently over stated swing against Rudd and the ALP seems to be MSM inspired once the lift of a more reassured the LP core is taken into account. And surely Abbott’s public parading of his penile potential is softening his impact on other issues? (Sorry, even when wanting to be serious one’s language gets racy these days.) The journos love all this stuff it’s true and the added attention does give Abbott and Co the chance to throw in a few more “great big tax” soundbites. Still they nearly all conclude when reporting on the polls no matter how slanted their comment with a sort of postscript that “on these figures the ALP will still win this next election comfortably”.
My blood did run cold today tho’ during that somewhat Alice in Wonderland Insiders discussion on media bias when Frightful Fran talked about this government being a “oncer”. Journos do hunt in packs and I’d hate to think of them in full cry with that as a headline.
PWA, just because all virility-driven spinmeistering is a plan doesn’t mean it’s a good plan. But it is probably their best plan.
I have stated before that the Liberal spinmeisters have taken the todger route (see I can double entendre too!) because they have so little else to work with.
God help the Coalition when the electorate takes a long, sceptical and weary look at the Opposition Front Bench. It’s like looking at re-runs of the Addams Family.
I doubt Kevin Rudd agrees with you on that one!
If the perception grows that Labor might lose, it depresses the propensity to make a protest vote, and allows the ALP to really ramp up the “do you really want to risk Abbott as PM?” line.
eerww, you are probably right Katz.
Gads, now a gaggle of people spinning Abbott’s penis – the mind doesn’t boggle, it shuts down.
Movies Abbott might star in:
Behind the Liberal Party Door.
Tony Does Dallas.
Deep Abbott.
I fear my knowledge of X-rated movies is somewhat limited. I can’t think of any more.
Coupla points.
While I’d be first to not to vote for anyone who thinks a doctrinaire religion, and one obsessively focused on women’s reproductive abilities, is a useful guide to overseeing a secular, pluralist and diverse western democracy, I thought Tony didn’t come across too badly as a real person in the interview in question.
Also I think some here have been somewhat overestimating the role of cunning spin in all this. Sometimes pollies after a hard day on the road just say what they really think. It may not be political astute but I’d certainly prefer it to those that never say what they think.
You know what would be really fun here? The surprise revelation that Tony and Julia had a fling together. There’s no denying the URST was there and it would certainly send both their political careers into a madcap spiral.
That’d take the concept of centipedes into a whole new multi-legged dimension. I can see the leaked to You Tube security cam footage mashups now.
The mind boggles.
Or… Tony should mind his boggles more?
Thanks K and M for that bit of reassurance. I do tend to catastrophise. I agree that the Coalition front bench is a big turn off, but remember how they looked in ’96, just as bad and bereft of talent but with more hair perhaps. There was, of course, the advantage of over a decade of Labour to help encourage the mood for change, plus the MSM inflation of Keating’s ego beyond kingsize to mythic inter-galactic imperial.
And jo, think of it more metaphorically. Yes, in one sense, blank it out. If you must, close your eyes and think of Australia. Then use that time to continue the good work you’ve already contributed to laughing Abbott off the political stage.
I understand the blogosphere is far more powerful than the old media forms. I was very impressed by what Daisey May @ 20 said about that on the LP thread on Balance.
“Thank god for the blogosphere where all these disgusting failures(of media reporting) can not only be exposed but ridiculed with excoriating wit.”
e.g. above Emma@52 “Hey, Tone RU469?” Surely that’s winged its way around Oz several times already and bumper sticker merchants are getting ready for mass production once the election date is called.
They say a smile is worth a thousand words. Abbott’s missionary position on lots of issues surely invites plenty of witty one liners we can throw out beyond LP? To say nothing of Barnaby Joyce, Wilson, Bronwyn, Joe and Julie. I can see the time for pomes is past for me and ewe2.
“I understand the blogosphere is far more powerful than the old media forms.”
Only when it can break stories. And even then it still gets played by the pros. Exhibit A. That whole Dan Rather getting kerned over Dubya’s inglorious time in TANG, with the flaws artfully leaked to certain blogs. One of the most splendid pieces of ratfucking since Ralph Willis waved around the fake Kennett “get yer hand off it Pete” letter to Costello.
But at this stage, the MSM is using the blogosphere as a farm team. Not to say this won’t change though. I personally welcome the coming media anarchy. No overlords. But we’re not quite there yet.
“…invites plenty of witty one liners we can throw out beyond LP?”
Or have had stolen by people who paid to do that.
I hope that this explicit talk was all off Abbott’s own wrist, so to say.
Any PR people who believe in the most literal interpretation of `sex sells’ are just not at the top of their game.
Sorry, but no. For people younger than Abbott Catholicism doesn’t suffer from an ‘Every Sperm is Sacred’ image, not in 2010. It suffers from an image of irrelevancy. Otherwise the Fundievangelicals wouldn’t be making such inroads into the Catholic base. (And I still don’t see the logic in Mr Conviction going after some nebulous ‘permissive society’ vote. Wot, he’s going to scrub clean their minds about RU486, is he?)
Evidence of the media management of this exercise strongly suggests the opposite.
Since when has been gasbagging about not getting any on the campaign trail, equals being “a real person™?”
Haven’t we managed to get a long quite nicely without knowing or thinking about whether Rudd’s daughter was a virgin when she got married, or whether Malcolm was watching certain TV channels in Canberra while Lucy was back home in Point Piper or whether Anna Bligh’s old man likes ironing her pants-suits or whether Kim Beazley…ok stop.
I don’t want politicians to be “real people” if this is what passes for “real people”, like I don’t want to know about what Sharan Burrow likes or doesn’t when she gets home or whether the head of the Reserve Bank tops up with veeagra.
There is a big difference between discussing issues around sexuality and morality etc in general terms (which Abbott could have chosen to do in every instance) and dragging out your personal dirty, or not dirty linen. And of course there is a place for discussing or responding to personal stories which have public outcomes.
As for Tone/Julia – ahhh – this was the very best thing we never took up from English politics – ie. front page stories about who is rooting who. Please universe spare us from knowing (anymore) about what our politicians get up to when they clock off. It’s none.of.our.busyness and it hasn’t in any significant way ever effected the way we are governed and that is all that should matter. (The only exception to this rule is pollies elected on a morals campaign/legislate/vote on and are hypocrites in their private lives.)
These are all just very slippery slopes that we should be backing away from at one hundred miles an hour…esp. UK polly sex scandal tabloidism or US triple double standards with a backflip. We’ve done real good getting this far without our leaders shirtless on horseback with big guns or hidden cameras outside of Canberra motels after a big Friday night.
And it’s not like 99% of Oz politicians don’t swim in their togs. However only a select few invite news photographers to share it with the nation.
Maybe I’m just catastrophising (along with PatriciaW) in imagining serious longer term ramifications if this ‘real people’ meme continues to morph not only in respect of Tony’s exhibitionism, but in exactly they same way the Repugs/Palin/Fox never give up painting ‘real Americans’ as small town folk from red states or whatever demographic they are massaging…..obs. this is not entirely new to right-wing politicians here, but this ‘real people’ equals Barnaby Joyce and Tony Abbott thang has gone completely viral.
A big dose needs a big dose of penicillin, imo.
anyways, more than enough from me on this and all other topics.
Abbott really has achieved little more than to turn himself into a laughing stock. Unless it somehow impacts on their political decision making Australians just don’t want to know about their politicians’ sex lives. Kevin Rudd might gain brownie points from getting drunk at a New York strip club, but it doesn’t work for Abbott. All he’s succeeded in doing is to turn himself into a caricature of a sex obsessed Catholic.
I sympathise with you PWA, and take jo’s points seriously. It needs repeating as often as possible: people like Abbott cannot expect us to allow their guff to pass without ridicule. Whether such ridicule achieves anything is questionable, but not to do so would help legitimize it. But I was amused to see that firstdog and I came to similar conclusions.
PS Tone’s budgie is just AWOL, Tone is quite ok. I’m sure his budgie will turn up once he’s bored of his adventure.
Here’s a good one: Ive just heard Rudd will be running against Gillard in tehseat of Lalor.
That’s Van Rudd – for the revolutionary socialist party. LOL!
tony Abbott will never be PM so don’t worry! He does not represent the intelligent peoples nor those who have respect for themselves and others. In fact, he should be replaced, but by whom.
An idea for the Abbot’s next media event?
Hot tempered celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay almost died this week while filming his British cooking show The F Word. Ramsay was filming a segment on a cliff in Iceland when he lost his footing and fell 280 feet into the icy waters below.
Surely God would send his angels to catch Mr. Abbott before he hit the ground or the sea?
ewe2 @ 101 this comment is a personal note for you! Yes, I’d realized later that I’d yet again misunderstood how Disobedience ends and I really loved every line of your parody @ 75. Kept hoping though you’d find a way to use “dick” somewhere with the rhymes which appear magically re Tony – short wick, prick, thick. The mind boggles! You were much more subtle, of course. Very clever and very funny.
Back to the original Disobedience and James James. I never liked that poem, however seductive the rhythm, not since I first heard it as a littlie at school. The idea of someone losing their mother was just too awful. I wilfully misheard it as being about getting lost oneself if you didn’t do as you were told. Retrospectively I can see it would have been a particularly frightening idea to me whose world was so bleak anyway.
I never read it to my children either, nor any of A A Milne’s poetry, much as we all loved Pooh. Belloc’s Cautionary Tales were too strong meat for my taste as well with Jim eaten by a tiger and Matilda burning to death. But looking at them again last night thinking about your pome I marvelled at their potential for political parody.
I note you’ve been writing late into the night. Or do you live here in the west?
My son suggested to me the idea of a collation of my pollie pomes which I thought he as a satirist himself might be critical of. But no, he likes them and suggests at least an ebook or kindle as a likely publishing project. Would you be interested in a joint venture with others of like mind?
Adamite @104: “…The F Word. Ramsay was filming a segment on a cliff in Iceland when he lost his footing and fell 280 feet into the icy waters below.”
I wonder if he managed “The F Word”, or if the icy shock winded him for once?
Enough of the F word, please…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLTnacYvvg4
Adamite and joe2, look at how alliteration is sitting there in everyday language willing, waiting and wanting to be used! Our feisty chef fell and lost his footing while filming and in his frantic flailing fearfully forgot to F..K the world for once!
On the F word I wonder if others who saw In the Loop got heartily sick of it by the end. My daughter who like me is no prude also felt it marred an otherwise brilliant satire. Many quips were lost in the distraction of the flow of Fs flashing by a bit like continuous and annoying static.
From school till the grave , Tony Abbott wants to work us to death I guess then he won’t have to worry about paying anyone pensions. His excuse for doing this is to punish the disabled..oh great I doubt he will get the Baby Boomers vote.
Nude Tony Abbott in the newspaper strikes again http://www.theage.com.au/national/fitness-a-key-part-in-abbotts-life-says-bishop-20100325-qxpc.html
Mmmm. Very priestly in my view.