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Tony Abbott's Ideas Summit

February 25th, 2010 by Mark Bahnisch  |  Published in Politics  |  103 Comments

Business Spectator reports:

Opposition Leader Tony Abbott will hold an ideas forum on Friday in much the same vein as Kevin Rudd’s famed 2020 summit.

But he insists it will be more than a glorified photo opportunity.

The roundtable is set to feature some high-profile Australians, such as former defence boss Peter Cosgrove and indigenous leader Noel Pearson, who will lend their views on future public policy.

Mr Abbott wants to take on the government intellectually, and told coalition colleagues they must be willing to fight the “battle of ideas”.

Each contributor has been asked to come up with no more than five big ideas to shape Australia in the medium- to long-term.

Unlike the 2020 summit, there doesn’t appear to be an opportunity for citizens to have input. So, perhaps, we can fill the void. What ideas should Tony Abbott consider?


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This post was written by mark bahnisch, who has written 1595 posts for Larvatus Prodeo.


Responses

  1. Mercurius says:

    …How about a Great Big New Direct Action Intervention?

  2. Ideas? This is the Tories we’re talking about, isn’t it?

    They haven’t had an idea since Friedman.

  3. sg says:

    well… does he think the poor should be forced to walk on treadmills for 12 hours a day, or to pick apart hemp ropes for 12 hours a day, in exchange for their dole payments?

    I’m sure his gathered luminaries would have something to say on that topic.

    Also how to retire Australia’s gross private debt efficiently and rapidly. Nationalisation? Printing money? It’s an ideas summit, they should for the Blue Sky ideas…

  4. Paul Burns says:

    The Liberal Party should dissolve itself?

  5. Fran Barlow says:

    As Abbott lacks a coherent constituency of the size needed to threaten governance, he cannot have any ideas that don’t threaten to worsen his position. All he can have is the vague feeling that things don’t smell right built on a kind of woolly but unspecified right of centre populism and slogans deriving from the hey-day of Reagan and Thatcher.

    That of course is why Joyce survives. He does this better than any of them. To paraphrase the old saying, his (and Abbott’s) apparent stupidity isn’t a bug. It’s a feature.

  6. Ziggy says:

    Nuclear power.

  7. Rationalist says:

    Raise pension age to 70.
    Income quarantining for all long term dole recipients.
    Youth allowance no longer a payment but a HECS style loan to be repaid.
    Wind back subsidies for non economy critical degrees/subjects at University.
    Cut corporate income taxes.
    Fast track mining, construction to create real high paying jobs.

  8. Paul Burns says:

    Open up a shop in Parliament House selling budgie snugglers and boardshorts?
    Sell the ABC to Rupert? (Make it official, like.)
    Make Da Bolta head of ASIO?
    Make “Domestic Duties” part of year 12 HSC Curriculum?
    Sell Parliament House, or at the very least, privatise it.

  9. Mindy says:

    I wonder if he will invite any women, or will he assume they are all too busy ironing?

  10. Mark says:

    Perhaps Miranda Devine? She may be able to afford home help to do the ironing on the 250k she gets from Fairfax.

  11. Paul Burns says:

    In all seriousness, as I commented on another thread, Abbott is getting desperate. Any ideas arising from this particular fester are could be so far to the right (once they’ve been through the Minchin Filter) that the electorate will be turned off these dinosaurs for years. This is a joke, surely?

  12. patrickg says:

    Abbott still misunderstands the role of effective, election-winning opposition, which is to keep the focus on the incumbent. I’m sure he’s rubbing his hands at every headline he’s getting, but all they do is keep the focus on him and his antics, and not the government.

    The insulation was a good example, but by taking ‘responsibility’ Rudd’s defused that issue. Saw him on lateline taking notes from petitioners, masterful PR.

    This other stuff won’t fly. He needs to make the alternative look bad, before he starts worrying about looking good.

  13. Mark says:

    I think that’s right, patrickg.

    I wonder how quickly this thing was cooked up, since we’re only hearing about it the day before it happens. He’s looking for more time in the media spotlight. The guy’s need for attention really is massive.

    But any crazy crap that gets proposed at his forum will immediately be his problem. Cosgrove will probably bang on about national service or something, and Pearson will no doubt call for more and more and more ‘quarantining’. And I suspect there might be some real cranks and fringe dwellers invited along, and who knows what they’ll have to say?

  14. Gummo Trotsky says:

    Billings method of fertility control to be included in National Science curriculum.
    All unmarried Australian males to be fitted with an approved Chastity Contro Device (eg)
    Oh and unmarried females too.
    No exemptions for atheists.
    Establish a Combined Research Centre to investigate theogenic parthenogenesis so that we can bring on the second coming before the crap science of global warming turn out to be not so crap after all. And because after even just one term of an Abbott Liberal government, 99% of the population will find hell a welcome relief.

  15. Jane says:

    A trip to the Gap, perhaps?

    And I suspect there might be some real cranks and fringe dwellers invited along, and who knows what they’ll have to say?

    He doesn’t have enough in the shadow ministry, Mark?

  16. Steve 1 says:

    The five big ideas will be – reduce welfare for single mums, increase defence spending, reduce workers right to organise, reduce tax for the rich and get all the commie/socialist/greenies/vegitarians/climate change believers out of the ABC

  17. Mark says:

    @15 -

    He doesn’t have enough in the shadow ministry, Mark?

    Indeed, Jane!

    Would it be wise to allow Bronwyn Bishop and Kevin Andrews to speak in public, unscripted? Or Sophie Mirabella? Or…

  18. Mindy says:

    Barnaby’s doing such a good job, why stop there?

  19. Paul says:

    Proportional Representation. And not Victoria’s half-arsed upper-house proportional representation either, but pure PR with low quotas to give smaller parties a fighting chance.

  20. Razor says:

    Mine site to disposal site nuclear industry including weapons manufacture for the ADF.
    Introduce 30/30 income tax system. Reduce annually by 1% per year for 10 years. Reduce company tax rate in line.
    Income splitting for married couples with children.
    $5,000 payment to any single mother and biological father(s) of three or more children when they voluntarily have their tubes tied/vasectomy (paid for by medicare)
    GST widened to all purchases – current exempt organisations then submit a BAS to recoup GST paid.
    All employees to receive Superannuation for every dollar earned. Increase SG contributions by 1% per year for next six years. Cancel limits on contributions to super. Cancel tax free status of superannuation income, capital withdrawals for +60 age group.
    Fully fund all ADF supernanuation liabilities so that they can have portability immediately. Extend to all government funds.
    Increase defence spending to 4% GDP.
    Make public servants more personably accountable for acheiving budget.

    Commence process of getting rid of States and local government. Bring in regional governments.
    Get rid of the Senate.

    Make me the boss.

  21. Mole says:

    Paul Burns

    “..Make “Domestic Duties” part of year 12 HSC Curriculum?..”

    Given vast multitudes of children leave school without any idea of how to manage a household budget , though you mock, if it could be done it would be great.

    Mindy
    As opposed to using getting PHD’s as an excuse not to have children??

  22. Eat The Rich says:

    An ideas summit eh? I suppose we can start referring to him as “Rudd Lite”.

  23. Ambigulous says:

    “What ideas should Tony Abbott consider?”

    Resignation.

    (Paul Burns @4 is the radical, I’m the ameliorist.)

  24. Patricia WA says:

    I am still bemused by Noel Pearson and his throwing his lot in with the right, particularly in view of what Howard did to Wik. Remember how statesmanlike he sounded in the early nineties working on that with Keating? Of course he has a very bootstrap mind set on Aboriginal welfare which Tony loves and would like to expand across all of dole bludging Australia. That’s where Tony does his month’s stint helping with Aboriginal literacy – up in Cape York with his mate Noel, enjoying some brisk dips in those wild rivers up there. Hardly central desert hardship? Or am I unfair?

  25. Guy says:

    A Liberal Party leadership ballot?

    Oh sorry… a “great big new” Liberal Party leadership ballot?

  26. Elise says:

    Gummo Trotsky @14: “All unmarried Australian males to be fitted with an approved Chastity Contro Device (eg)…Oh and unmarried females too.”

    How on earth do you find these things Gummo? Incidentally, if females are to be fitted as well, that device might look a bit weird under a nice tight skirt? ;)

    Doesn’t Abbott favour Vatican Roulette over Billings? They are not quite the same, as best I understand?

    “…we can bring on the second coming before the crap science of global warming turn out to be not so crap after all.”

    There I was thinking that AGW would indeed be the fabled Armageddon. You know, hell fires and plagues and pestilence, and a final reckoning on humanity’s fate?

    Isn’t that what we are heading for? Smart fella, that Nostradamus!

  27. Elise says:

    Mindy @18: “Barnaby’s doing such a good job, why stop there?”

    TOP idea, Mindy!!!

    Abbott should hire the rest of Barnaby’s family too! :)

  28. sg says:

    hey Razor, what’s this about SG contributions? How come I have to pay for your craaaaazy ideas?

  29. Mercurius says:

    “The need for this Summit is clear,”
    Said Tony: “I’ve gathered you here,
    Because, on reflection,
    It’s 8 months ’til election
    And I’ve got no f**king idea.”

  30. Marlin says:

    Patricia @24 “That’s where Tony does his month’s stint helping with Aboriginal literacy – up in Cape York with his mate Noel, enjoying some brisk dips in those wild rivers up there. Hardly central desert hardship? Or am I unfair?”

    I think you are being a bit unfair. Rather than being bagged for not volunteering in central Australia maybe he should be recognised for volunteering to help Indigenous kids. Some of the places he visits such as Coen etc. aren’t really luxury places.

  31. Dingbat says:

    Patricia

    I’m not suprised re Noel Pearson. Aboriginal politics and culture is quite conservative in many respects, it’s a measure of the success of the ALP, and the redneckness of the right, that they score most of the Aboriginal vote. Here in the NT there’s a slow drift to the CLP of Aboriginal voters and supporters, not a majority by a long way, but i think over the next 10-20 years more and more Aboriginal people will stand for the CLP and get elected.

  32. Adamite says:

    Spot on Ambigulous and Mercurious. Dingbat, Pearson and the monk are ‘mates’ When he was health minister he funded a major initiative in York Peninsula sponsored by Pearson.

  33. Elise says:

    How about something really out there, like considering what we will do for the transport sector? Is Abbott thinking about what Australia will do if fossil fuels are no longer a viable answer, due to high prices as a result of Chinese consumption and peak oil, or due to climate change and carbon taxes?

    Can’t be done, right? We HAVE to have some form of hydrocarbon, whether petrol, diesel, gas (LPG or LNG), gas-to-liquids, bio-fuels, etc. Right? Forget about the transport sector for any significant reduction in our carbon footprint. BAU, right?

    We could do a bit. Electric cars are good for city commuters, and maybe with battery exchange for passenger vehicles on longer distances. OK so that is a reasonable percentage of residential transport needs. What about the rest?

    What about our transport sector – interstate trucking, semi-trailers, shipping, diesel haul trucks (mining), diesel locomotives, planes, etc?

    Well, Abbott, what about something significantly out there, like putting the building blocks in place for a hydrocarbon fuel-cell future? Not next year or the year after, but a decade down the track?

    Just off the top of my head, there are three major enablers needed:

    - widespread manufacture and use of electric motors, rather than internal combustion engines
    - a mature industry in manufacture of fuel cells
    - a large supply of low-C energy to drive large-scale electrolysis of water to generate hydrogen.

    Sooo, what could we think of doing now, to promote the necessary future enablers? Abbott-style, direct, action-man stuff? How about:

    - support for electric and hybrid-electric cars, to propel the use of electric motors, for residential use (with battery technology) until the sector matures

    - support for Aussie intellectual property in Ceramic Fuel Cells LTD (CFCL), which uses fuel cells to generate efficient household power and hot water, at household scale and using reticulated gas until the industry matures

    - support for Aussie intellectual property in solar PV, at household scale initially until the industry matures.

    If we get it right, these will all be mature technologies/industries in time for the future transition to a low-C world, using hydrogen fuel cells.

    Or would that be too “out there” for what Abbott has in mind?

  34. CMMC says:

    Tone, mate, ya gotta like come down heavy on these welfare bludgers. Like, despite the fact that since the GST made everyone a taxpayer from conception onward, ya gotta focus on the traditional Liberal Party definition of “taxpayer”.

    That is, Tone, people who live in upper middle-class Postcode ranges as opposed to the human scum residing outside.

  35. Adrien says:

    Excellent. The Jabberfest of the Outre Kilo. Abbott’s cracking. He basically admitting he doesn’t have any ideas. So he’s pinched one of Kevvie’s dumbest ideas.
    .
    Bad move Tony. If you’re gonna pinch Kevvie’s schtick, pinch the good ideas. Like the one that says get elected first before admitting you don’t have a clue. :)

  36. Zorronsky says:

    Gather a lot of like mates and try to increase from around 20% the number of RWDB’s that naturally occur in the human psyche.

  37. Elise says:

    Robbo @3: “Pearson is the conservatives tame abo…”

    I feel for Noel Pearson. His heart seems to be in the right place. He seems to want to make a difference for the better, regardless of who supports the initiative. The politics and the labelling probably don’t help.

    It must be a fairly discouraging and lonely row to hoe?

  38. Zorronsky says:

    And the last time I looked colour is no bar to the above!

  39. Elise says:

    Zorronsky @37: “…increase from around 20% the number of RWDB’s…”

    He’ll need to get rid of those chastity belts then, won’t he?

    And tell all the young gells that he was jus’ kidding about “saving yourself…” :)

  40. robbo says:

    Elise, Pearson does seem to want to make a difference but it seems to ever be through the spectrum of his own self-promotion. And he gets plenty of encouragement from the opposition as they used him as a mouthpiece for many of their decisions regarding indigenous policy. Despite the fact that the majority do not support his views.

  41. patrickg says:

    “What ideas should Tony Abbott consider?”

    Resignation.

    Bravo. Well played, sir (or other).

    Oh I meant to mention also: did anyone else see Heather Ridout on Lateline last night? Much as I deplore the noxious culture of lobbying and the completely undemocratic power the AIG wields, it was very clear in the interview that she is _not_ on Abbott’s page, and regards his proposed climate change action as not good for the AIG.

    There’s some big money, and big interests in Australia talking there, Abbott doesn’t have a lot of support.

  42. Razor says:

    I forgot two others – ban tobacco products and make alcohol taxation directly linked to alcohol strength.

  43. Razor says:

    sg – do you expect an age pension or think that you should be a self-funded retiree?

  44. Paul Burns says:

    Mole @ 21,
    I hate to tell you this but managing a household budget consists of the following:
    Pay rent.
    Pay bills.
    Buy food.
    Buy toiletries, stuff to clean house with.
    Buy clothes at Vinnies.
    Save a bit of money, then : buy computer, TV, DVD, mobile phone, i-pod, etc.,
    Spend the rest on fun. (not that computers aren’t fun.

    You can usually work it out within about half a week of moving into your first flat. If you can’t cook, get a recipe book.
    Or are you suggesting today’s yoof aren’t that smart.

  45. Razor says:

    Close all racially-based government programs.

  46. Fran Barlow says:

    Razor Said:

    [...]make alcohol taxation directly linked to alcohol strength.

    Here’s one I can agree with, though I’d make it progressive and have sweetness as an increment. I’d hypothecate the funds to run diversionary programs and to run treatment centres.

  47. Elise says:

    Patrickg @41: “Heather Ridout…is _not_ on Abbott’s page, and regards his proposed climate change action as not good for the AIG….There’s some big money, and big interests in Australia talking there…”

    Didn’t I read somewhere that a majority of the AIG members voted for the ETS, and stood to gain financially from it as rent seekers; e.g. KPMG-type advisors, consultants, merchant banks, auditors, etc?

    I guess a direct-action plan would not put as much money across their palms? As such, less opportunity for wads of it to stick to said palms?

  48. Elise says:

    Paul Burns @44, how about enough financial nouse to spot a dodgy financial advisor, and dodgy investment advice for your retirement?

    Dodgy as in Storm Financial, Allco Finance, etc, and their get-rich-quick schemes?

    Or do you just need a finely-calibrated nose for con-artists?

  49. Mole says:

    44 Paul Burns

    Yes exactly what you are talking about. My business is rental gear, in a world where people lived (or were taught, by parents and/or educators) the thrifty habits Id be going broke.

    Im not, rental goods are a huge and growing industry.
    I have to budget for my customers, partialy because of new government guidelines, but mostly because a certain few customers would leave themselves nothing.

    So 60-70% of the population (excepting mistakes of a temporary nature everyone makes) do live withing their means. That leaves a huge number that dont. So basic financial literacy isnt a silly suggestion.

  50. kuke says:

    - Republic
    – Bill of rights
    – Carbon Tax
    – Ban negative gearing
    – Outsource public service

  51. Elise, trust me, direct action plans offer opportunities for rorting on a grand scale. Soil carbon is a multi-billion dollar rort waiting to happen if it’s implemented by a government whose first priorities are a) to shovel money to farmers, and b) to be seen to be doing something on climate change.

  52. sg says:

    perhaps you missed the link, razor…

  53. David Irving (no relation) says:

    I think you’ve misjudged Cosgrove, Mark (back @ 13). Like most professional soldiers he doesn’t like the idea of a conscript army, and he’s on record as disapproving of the Barrel o’ Death that radicalised so much of my generation.

  54. Mercurius says:

    Idea: replace Barnaby with the Ceremonial Mace as Finance Minister.

    He’s dumb as a box of hammers, and not as well balanced.

  55. Andrew E says:

    Trouble with summits is, anywhere you go from there is downhill. Stuff that seems solid on the summit melts or turns to gas in the valley of the shadow.

  56. Andrew E says:

    … besides, any idea that the Cardinal doesn’t like won’t make it.

  57. Tyro Rex says:

    The Great Virginity Pledge Drive (for all unmarried women).

  58. Razor says:

    Sorry sg – gotcha now. You’re not an Actuary by chance?

  59. Razor says:

    David @ 53 – seconded.

  60. Mark says:

    @53 – you’re no doubt right, David. I had him confused with that other general who used to be Governor-General, I think. Can’t remember his name.

  61. wpd says:

    Jeffrey?

  62. Elise says:

    Robert Merkel @51, what you say may well be true.

    My point was simply that Heather Ridout, representing the views of AIG members, might not be simply expressing an unbiased view of what is best for all of Australia. Or even what is best for the majority of Australian businesses.

    She may be simply representing the views of a cluster of vested interests, who would prefer the option which delivers them a whole new gravy train.

    I simply asked that we look behind the position, to see what might be driving it.

  63. Mark says:

    @61 – that’s him, wpd. I’m pretty sure he made a speech about the wonders of national service. Obviously, I find him pretty forgettable, though, so I apologise if I’m wrong.

  64. sg says:

    No Razor, sadly I’m a statistician – even more boring. But I’m still not paying a penalty tax just because of my initials!

  65. Daisey May says:

    I wonder if he got his Oxford Blue for simply gloving up? We all know that he is a warrior intellectual. He is a model volunteer. He fights fires. He swims for the local SLSC. He cycles and even refrains from sex even though he is so very, very virile. We get a taste of just how virile this man is every time the camera swoons and pans below that famous waistline. His wife and kids are dutiful much as they were in days of yore. His wit is writ from womb to tomb and punching above his weight is a proud type of cancerous growth he is happy to own without remission. He is ape like hairy though but that is not all bad considering how many apes are hairy. They (and him) have evolved in leaps and bounds and you can’t blame him for acting the way he does. There are Bonobo monkeys who can only marvel at his sex drive and his efforts to dissuade his own offspring from following his own lead are commendable. I can announce that I have been invited to Tony’s ideas fest. I’ll be giving him advice about a new product on the market called “unobtainium” which he seems to be having trouble with.

  66. anthony nolan says:

    Legalise it. All of it. Put it in the drinking water in fact. That way Barnaby’s dealer could be very wealthy and the rest of us might just have a smidgen of a chance of understanding what on earth the mad little coot is talking about.

    But seriously: banning water fluoridisation has gotta be a winner, build more really big dams so there is plenty of water, prosecute abortionists, gaol euthenasia advocates, crack down on permanent acquired disability pensioners, free up taxi licencing, remove all subsidies for child care coz that’s what mums are for, bring back debt bondage coz that’s what families are for, turn the inland of Australia into a garden by reverse engineering the rivers when there is water enough or better still pump it up out of the artesian basins because it is an idle resource under ground, offer a massive baby bonus to women but limit ongoing social security payments so that they have to work, nukes and lots of them all up and down the coastline preferably in National Parks away from where people can see them, encourage volunteerism and charity to fill in the gaps left by a shrinking state, tax reform in favour of people who don’t need the extra money.

    See. Easy.

  67. Rx says:

    They’re not serious about ‘ideas’. If they were committed to change and renewal they’d have gotten rid of Howard after one or two terms in government. And they wouldn’t now be trying to wind back the clock to a re-animation of his tired ex-front benchers.

    No, this is just another gimmick from the masters of spin and deceit. The only “idea” they’ve ever wanted they’ve already got. It once went by the name of WorkChoices, but they did change the name part… Aside from the moniker, it’s all core stuff.

  68. BilB says:

    In my ten minutes in the shower this morning, I have decided that the primary creation of life had 4 stages which in simplistic terms I imagine would be called: pre egg, egg, chicken, rooster. I think that it is most likely that the first flurry of life was the formation of dna like strands which spontaneously formed in a soup along with many other strands. The first reproductions would have replicated themselves in the soup without necessarily having a cell boundary, thus pre egg or cell.

    If Tony Abbott government were to promote a scientific research programme into the process of life’s creation would it be a scientific and laboratory based research study, or would it be a theosophical study.

    Just wondering.

  69. anthony nolan says:

    I can’t help it:

    “If Tony Abbott government were to promote a scientific research programme into the process of life’s creation would it be a scientific and laboratory based research study, or would it be a theosophical study.”

    No, it would involve a slab of VB, onanism, some prominent members of the shadow cabinet and a chook shed.

  70. Mercurius says:

    @ 68 Bilb, you forgot the fifth stage of life: Dinner.

    Other ideas:

    - Girls to stay in school until married.
    - Send Barnaby to Business College for a year.
    - Ban jokes about the homoeroticism of Rugby.
    - Replace the National Anthem with Thunderstruck (Gets my vote!)
    - Bed-tax for hotels: A Great Big New Tax on Uncontrolled Emissions.
    - A Lindt Chocolate Statue of John Howard in the Parliamentary foyer — nobody’s allowed in without a lick.
    - Airline Hostess skirt lengths below the calf, to prevent ministerial indiscretions (it’s so, so, so lonely out on the stump, you know, and I’m gagging for it! Have I already told you that?!)

  71. Jack says:

    This Rudd government should be ashamed of itself. Rudd’s interview with Kerry O’Brien last night on the 7:30 Report was disgraceful and he isn’t even man enough to thank Kerry for the interview. He is simply a bad sport who has a tantrum whenever the heat gets too much. He can’t answer a question directly and by him claiming to take responsibility of the home insulation program is just hollow words with no actions to back them up. Howard’s ministers got the chop for far lesser things than the enormous mess of this program. He certainly hasn’t the integrity of the Howard government. This government are very destructive to our economy and way of life.

  72. Mercurius says:

    Jack’s message was brought to you by the talking-points astroturf e-newsletter of the Liberal Party. Thanks for stopping by and sharing “your” thoughts, Jack!

  73. joe2 says:

    Yes, Jack@71, if there is space in your hardrive for ‘awareness of follow up response to Rudd negative message drive’ please note that we are onto the shite.

    It’s boring, obvious and likely to be doing more damage for the cause than good.

  74. Peter Kemp says:

    Ideas forum, new legislation contemplated:

    Every Sperm IS Sacred (Wanking Prohibition) Act

    “Meaning of Life” (British Comedians) Prohibition Act

    Ironing Boards (Women’s Miscellaneous Essential Equipment Subsidy) Act

    Sale of Virginity (Minimum Pricing) Arbitration Act

    National Health Sale of all RU486 (to North Korea & China) Act

    Condom Free (& ComPell no Pill) Erogenous (Applications) Zone Act

    Anthropogenic Global Warming (Smokescreen) Act

    etc etc

  75. BilB says:

    PeterK

    In support of your item 1 there might be a good case for a “spermatory emissions register”. Hattip to RW and LB.

  76. adrian says:

    @ 72- I think the word thoughts should also be in quotation marks, Mecurius.

  77. Paul Burns says:

    Re Rudd on 7.30 Report (and, as you all know I ain’t no Liberal Party Clone):
    I thought the point Red Kerry made about the Rudd Government’s inability to put a nicely designed plan on paper into effective action was spot on. Though one has to admit, whatever their shortcomings in practical realities (and sometimes they seem immense because of Rudd’s propensity for talk over action), they would never compare with the institutionalised idiocy of the present Federal Liberal Party under Abbott.
    (Which is why a satiric thread like this can even seem credible, in a weird sort of way.)

  78. Fran Barlow says:

    To which we might add, Peter Kemp …

    The Rural Porkbarrelling Act
    The Magic Pudding and other Supplemental Budget Measures Act
    The Control of Non-Sovereign Investment and Borrowing Act

    I also think Abbott needs to get the CSIRO to develop a device analogous to an analog to digitical converter to alter the words he and Barnaby Joyce utter into something that doesn’t make them look like total morons. Ideally, when he speaks nonsense into it, it emerges as some sort of well-developed treatise on something people care about.

    Alternatively, it works steganographically — so that the words turn into some sort of innocent picture of a sunrise over a lake or similar.

    The funding bill could be called The Abbott & Joyce Makeover Research Bill

  79. BilB says:

    That is a very nice thought there, Fran, though I think that the patent rights would have to go to the “Simpsons” who eclipsed the novel content with the baby speech converter episode.

    Also, I do see some problems as this would allow intelligent chimps to be elected to the Australian Parliament in place of usually totally moronic oxygen wasters that the coalition generally puts forward. No difficulty with the IQ upgrade but the need to introduce nit picking breaks (real nits that is) into parliamentary debating time might not be acceptible to the other members.

  80. rossco says:

    Why not do what any internet savvy, 21st C hip politician would do and just ask for ideas via Twitter? Oh, I forgot we are talking about Abbott.

  81. Paul Burns says:

    rossco @ 80,
    He probably registered on Twitter, but he couldn’t get it to work.

  82. Elise says:

    BilB @68: “…creation of life had 4 stages which in simplistic terms I imagine would be called: pre egg…”

    Perhaps we are talking pre-egg here?

    Abbott should ban the twinkle in the eye. I mean, you need to draw the line somewhere early enough, don’t you? It’s all down hill after that.

    Once those DNA strands have started, then we are into pre-egg… :)

  83. BilB says:

    PB@81

    Twitter works on tweets, not offensive raucous bellowing. An Abbott free zone most likely.

  84. Mark says:

    http://twitter.com/tonyabbottMHR

    He links to photos and videos of himself riding a bike…

  85. Adrien says:

    Abbott needs to get the CSIRO to develop a device analogous to an analog to digitical converter to alter the words he and Barnaby Joyce utter into something that doesn’t make them look like total morons
    .
    Outstanding idea. I can think of one seriously cashed-up export market that needs that gizmo bad.

  86. Adrien says:

    I think that if just one idea comes outta Tony’s jabberfest, it’s worth it.

  87. el oso says:

    Reading an article on Paul Krugman in the N.Y.Times yesterday they had a lovely cartoon captioned “What does he know and how long will he know it”. I wonder which of Abbott or Joyce the cartoonist was thinking when he penned it.

  88. David Irving (no relation) says:

    Mark @ 63, OT, I know, but I was actually quite surprised when Jeffrey made approving noises about National Service. As I said (confirmed by Razor), professional soldiers don’t like the idea of a conscript army.

  89. Patricia WA says:

    Somewhere the word ’round table’ discussions has come up on this. Who used it? Unless it was just loose language it seems to me it will have to be a very big round table or a very exclusive list of invitees.

  90. Razor says:

    Here’s another one:

    Each State gets 100% of it’s GST back.

    We Sandgropers have been bent over a barrel and right royally raped by the rest of the country.

    Give us our fair share you bastards.

    The ALP wonders why they don’t do well in Federal elections in WA – duh!

  91. Tyro Rex says:

    But Razor, the GST is an invention of the Tories. As is the funding imbalance.

  92. Razor says:

    Well Tyro, time to fix it.

  93. Tyro Rex says:

    By abolishing it!

  94. ewe2 says:

    Well it screams “Tony Abbott, media whore”, but it’s not going to give him what he most needs: something to give big business that they can’t already get from Rudd. This has to be some media shill’s idea, all it’s going to do is employ tv and print journalists.

  95. Razor says:

    Tyro – rollback!

    Going to replace it?

  96. David Irving (no relation) says:

    Easy, Razor. Increase personal income tax (on medium and high income earners), and increase company tax. I certainly wouldn’t mind paying a bit more income tax.

    That way, the tax system would be progressive instead of regressive.

  97. Adrien says:

    Each State gets 100% of it’s GST back.
    .
    Abolish payroll tax? Also cancel politicans’ salaries. One day each year they should go ’round to the houses in their electorate with a tin cup instead.
    .
    Unlike the 2020 summit, there doesn’t appear to be an opportunity for citizens to have input.
    .
    I don’t think the opportunity was actually real. Kevvie just made a space for plebian hot air to flow.

  98. Gummo Trotsky says:

    First reports of Tone’s summit are starting to trickle in. From the Oz:

    Launching the ideas forum today, the Opposition Leader described it as the “lternative 2020 Summit”, saying Mr Rudd’s summit was merely a “networking opportunity”.

    “There were too many ideas for any of them to command attention” he said of the 2020 Summit. “Looking back, it was about networking, not ideas and the Prime Minister’s real plan was to surround himself with celebrities without looking like a lightweight.”

    Mr Abbott argued the Liberal Party took “ideas seriously” and sent a clear message he was would communicate with colleagues about policy matters.

    “Along with my senior colleagues, I will listen, learn and respond…”. (my emphasis)

    And from the ABC:

    Former Australian Defence Force chief Peter Cosgrove says Australia should adopt nuclear power as its response to climate change.

    General Cosgrove mounted the argument while giving the opening speech to a Liberal ideas forum in Canberra last night.

    He called for action on climate change and suggested bipartisan support is needed to set up a Commonwealth climate change commission with powers to enforce a long-term mitigation strategy…

    Federal Opposition Leader Tony Abbott told General Cosgrove that he does not entirely share his judgment on the state of the climate change science.

    Mr Abbott, however, says he agrees that nuclear power is the only realistic way to reduce carbon emissions while maintaining living standards.

    “That’s not the policy of the Liberal Party. It will not be the policy of the Liberal Party between now and the next election. Nevertheless, it is a debate that this country should have,” Mr Abbott said.

    Sounds like he skipped the listening and learning part and went straight to the responding in his answer to Cosgrove.

  99. Ute Man says:

    Bilb wrote:

    Also, I do see some problems as this would allow intelligent chimps to be elected to the Australian Parliament in place of usually totally moronic oxygen wasters that the coalition generally puts forward.

    The part of private enterprise and property rights does not have oxygen wasters. It has oxygen thieves. Get it right!

  100. nasking says:

    Some might enjoy this:

    …i’m imagining the summit if we stripped away the BS:

    Noel Pearson declares that Cape York Peninsula is ready to go nuclear…

    provided Peter Cosgrove lead a RAD off-greenish arm-band army up there to help clear the way for developers & put down any resistance from wild QLD politicians & other dissenting communities…

    and Ian Harper discusses how the implementation of Worchoices mach 2 can ensure that such a grand project can be achieved by motivational practices such as providing 7 day a week workers with
    I WORK FOR THE NATION I LOVE, AUSTRALIA t-shirts, overalls, mugs and buttons…

    whilst Abbott enters clothed like a Conquistador…

    and to a round of applause projects on the wall digitally altered pics showing Bill Heffernan in Cape York riding a water buffalo w/ whip in hand, heading a herd of 457 workers.

    And then Heff sings out from a doorway:

    Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’

    Keep movin’, movin’, movin’,
    Though UN is disapprovin’,
    Keep them visas movin’ profitswide!
    Don’t try to understand ‘em,
    They don’t a speak the lingo
    Just rope and throw and grab ‘em,
    Soon we’ll be living high on nuke tide.
    Boy my heart’s calculatin’
    My true love will be waitin’, power & profits waiting at the end of my ride.

    Move ‘em on, head ‘em up,
    Head ‘em up, move ‘em out,
    Move ‘em on, head ‘em out profitshigh!
    Set ‘em out, ride ‘em in
    Ride ‘em in, let ‘em out,
    Cut ‘em out, ride ‘em in profitswide.

    N’

  101. marks says:

    Um,

    Eliminate tax concessions for all religions.
    Eliminate ALL tax deductions. (After all, Tony, Barnaby sez we need to eliminate private debt – making interest payments non tax deductible will disincentivize that little problem. And just think! It would be soo simple Tony).
    Include all benefits paid to employees (Great and small) on their tax return at market value.
    Make payments in kind by companies illegal. (No free rent for Harbour apartments to be paid for by shareholders for example).

  102. Patrickb says:

    “We Sandgropers have been bent over a barrel and right royally raped by the rest of the country.”
    Well I’d like to see some evidence for that. Being from WA (but not from Perth) I reckon we contribute very little income tax having such a small population and all. Indeed that small population and large geographical size may mean we’re all on welfare! I suppose most of the locals (from Perth) reckon that mining royalties are a goldmine. They may want to have another look.


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