British woman weds dolphin

British tourist Sharon Tendler has finally made her dream match – by “marrying” a dolphin she has been visiting for 15 years in the Israeli resort of Eilat, the mass-circulation Yediot Ahronot daily reported.

She kissed him, to the cheers of the spectators and then, after the ceremony was sealed with some mackerels, was tossed into the water so she could swim away with her new husband.

“I’m the happiest girl on earth,” the bride was quoted as saying.

“I made a dream come true. And I am not a pervert.”

Source

Nothing like a Daily Telegraph-style headline and story to finish the year off with (even if it’s in The Sydney Morning Herald).

Now calm down, you anti-gay marriage crowd who predict legalisation of same-sex marriages will lead to this sort of thing, there’s something fishy about this whole story.


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38 responses to “British woman weds dolphin”

  1. Peter Kemp

    Even if it is not true, Kevin Bloody Wilson might still come out with another version of ”Supermetafugly”, like ”Supermetabestial,” but I have read of male dolphins getting horny with humans.

    Should increase the sales of “Moby Dick” though!

  2. Gummo Trotsky

    Reminds me of a story I read years ago in the New Scientist, about a diver who got charged with erm naughty inter-species behaviour after going out for a swim with a male dolphin. It seems that the dolphin in question enjoyed giving people a tug with his erect penis (easier to hang onto than the the dorsal fin apparently). The charges were dismissed because the beak decided that it was all good clean fun, or something like that. As if.

  3. cozalcoatl

    “I made a dream come true. And I am not a pervert.”

    personal motto and i’m getting that on a t-shirt

  4. Bring Back EP & Aquaman

    Salmon enchanted evening!

  5. Pretty Boy R.H.

    What? A woman married a fish? A bloody fish? Get out of here!- you must be kidding!

    (Is she good looking?)

    (How about the fish?)

  6. Pretty Boy R.H.

    And where’s the honeymoon, Melbourne Aquariam? She mightn’t be a pervert but there’d be plenty buying tickets.

  7. phil

    “But he swore to me his name was Dolph Lundgren.”

  8. Geoff Honnor

    She’s allegedly a “millionaire Jewish rock promoter (hmmmm).” He’s an Eilat male dolphin named “Christy” – which sounds suss. But, if they’re both Jewish, what’s the problem?

  9. Ron

    I can’t believe the links you get when you put ‘dolpin penis’ into Google!

  10. MrLefty

    Every part of that story BELLOWS pisstake.

  11. fxh

    homer – they got married on Yom Kipper – so it said in the Fin Review. She went overboard and was hooked after 15 years of flatheadery. The ceremony went swimmingly and they’ll be having a whale of a time now, and I expect he’ll be a groper on the honeymoon, still it will be a hard roe to hoe later. She’s a rockling promoter with a net worth of a million.

  12. Bring Back EP & Frankie Valley

    congrats FXH that was pretty good.
    Love the pink safari suit.Christmas present?
    you are scaling new heights.
    You didn’t mention her net profit.
    I am surprised she married though that dophin has a cold fish handshake!

  13. Moonfeather

    I just have to say how disappointed I am that you are all mocking this brave brave woman. Just as we must learn to walk upon this world with a lighter step, so must we learn to truly love our fellow creatures. And that Sharon has shown us all the way should be understood for the seminal moment in cetacean/human interpersonal energy flows that it truly is.

  14. R.H.

    Girls, never marry a shark. All they do is get pissed and flake out.

  15. Pretty Boy R.H.

    Miss Brownie’s husbands were all sharks. Or so she reckons. Now she’s going out with an octopus.
    They look a bit funny on the tram together. But that wouldn’t bother her. Not Miss Brownie.

  16. Bring Back EP

    She dropped the octopus because it was costing her squids!

  17. Pretty Boy R.H.

    What line does she use?

    Who knows, but there’s no chance she’d flounder, not Miss Brownie!

  18. Bring Back EP

    their children will be taught by Mr Chips!

  19. Pretty Boy R.H.

    I was going to mention something about a groper, but to tell the truth Pretty Boy is feeling a bit disgusted with himself for getting among all these puns. But here’s an interesting thing, I can remember a Hymn called ‘I Will Make You Fishers Of Men’. This was before I was much interested in religion at all, and I misunderstood it as ‘I Will Make You FISHES Of Men. I thought that was a bit odd. And a bit unfair too. Why would anyone want to do that to some poor bugger.

  20. Paul

    After the wedding the woman was seen spouting off, that the world was her oyster.

  21. Bring Back EP

    of course all her drinks are on the rocks

  22. Pretty Boy R.H.

    Miss Brownie went home with a kipper
    She said your place is a ripper
    But when she sat down
    The kipper spun ‘roun
    And got its tail caught in her zipper.

    Well now, that’s a bit risque, and not very good, but I’m in a bit of a rush.

    (Nothing to the rush I’d be in if Miss Brownie got after me)

  23. Bring Back EP

    She is probably FINish

  24. Ron

    What did I start here? This is supposed to be a serious post and you guys are just having a whale of a time making fun of a happy couple!

  25. Zoe

    They’re so superficial, aren’t they?

  26. Ron

    I wonder if their kids will taught on the School of the Net.

    Did you hear that prior to the wedding the bride had a few consultations with a plastic sturgeon?

    I also heard they first met down by that old plaice by the sea.

  27. Bring Back EP

    we took up the bait.

  28. Ron

    I also wonder if the first pet they get for the little tadpole that comes first in the upstream swimming race will be a catfish or a dog salmon?

  29. Bring Back EP

    don’t let them drink they will under water in no time!

  30. FaceLift

    Deep ends on the more efficient swimmer, Ron. Jude have thought she’d be more interested in a Jew Fish.

  31. Bring Back EP

    Facelift,

    They are obviously hindus as the man came back as a dolphin.

    If he was previously a real estate salesman he would have come back as a shark.

    He is bad in an argument as he goes to jellyfish

  32. FaceLift

    BBoP
    That’s not extremely beneficial to their relationship. They’ll probably need a psycodlogist to sort out the codfusion.

  33. Ron

    For all in tents and porpoises, I bet they sea eeled their joining with a kiss after the offishiating monkfish pronounced them heart and sole and the congregation began singing ‘Nearer My Cod To Thee’ or was that ‘Zing! Went the Strings of My Carp’?

     
     

    (Golly, I hope my partner never finds this thread!)

  34. Pretty Boy R.H.

    Miss Brownie went out with an eel
    It went for a bit of a feel
    Miss Brownie say hoy!
    Cut that out boy!
    That ain’t part of the deal.

    Well golly me, was that before her six marriages or after? I don’t know. Probably after. Who knows? Anyway, less said the better. Always.

    -Pretty Boy

  35. Mudd

    They do say bald can be sexy, but dorsal fins and bottle noses?…She’s not a pervert, just fin~icky about whom she dates.

  36. Daniel

    Someone toad me that their lives were breaming over. Apparently she clammed up underwater and her husband went to jelly. Whether she had a blue-ring, I don’t know! Peche to you all.

  37. knibilnats

    dolphins are mammals. a jew would never marry a fish, that’s just anti-semitic propaganda

  38. Gaz

    What’s all the fuss about?This is nothing unique after all didn’t a women called Janette marry a Rat about forty years ago.