To satiate LP readers’ insatiable appetite for McCartney/Mills-McCartney divorce scandal, there’s a neat post up at Suicide Girls.
Some excerpts:
Heather Mills McCartney. What can you say? When the news about a girl with only one leg becomes so utterly saturated with bile that the rags actually stop referring to her as the “one legged former model�?, you know she’s in for the chop (so to speak). Personally, I’m thoroughly enjoying the drama. There’s nothing quite like seeing a compulsive liar, as Heather clearly is, flailing about all hands and foot, in the web of her own deceit.
Heather’s mistake, as far as I can tell, is not that she’s a total fantasist, with her claims of abuse conveniently “leaked�? to the press via a “mysterious woman and a fax machine in a London newsagent�?. And it’s not that she’s a shameless self publicist, clinging on for dear life to the McCartney moniker as though the loss of it might destroy her already schizophrenic sense of identity. No, Heather’s main problem is that she’s simply wandered into the Garden of Hate, and she won’t accept that there’s no way out.It happened to Victoria Beckham a while back, probably about the time her husband became prettier than her. The British public is a vicious snapping crocodile jaw of a machine, and once you’re blacklisted…frankly, it would take a miracle, or an incurable disease to bring you back from the brink of such loathing.
So Geoff Honnor was right – Heather has achieved her dream of BECOMING THE NEW POSH!
<img src="http://larvatusprodeo.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/heather_300.jpg"
Hang on. Is that a Walkman in her hand? Oh, such delicious irony.
It’s C21. You’d think they’d do something about those analogue prosthetics.
Why oh why did he marry her?
Yes, he could have married this sexy German chick with a C21 prosthesis:
http://www.tmw.at/FotoalbenPressealltagOtto_Bock/Dame_C_Leg_copyright-otto-bock.jpg
She also may not be a lunatic.
Stupid link.
<img src="http://www.kappernagel-menssen.de/produkte/pr_orthoindivid003.jpg"
Fluch, Kim. Die Seite wurde nicht gefunden
Brunnen scheint sie, netten Geschmack in den Möbeln zu haben.
If you google otto bock c-leg you can get the big version from the google image cache:
http://images.google.com.au/images?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official_s&q=otto bock + c-leg&hl=en&btnG=Search Images
Yikes!
Never mind, the prosthetic maker’s French site is more helpful.
Here’s a direct link:
http://www.healthcare.ottobock.de/special/wallpaper/1024/C-Leg1.bmp
She’s rather sexy as well:
http://www.healthcare.ottobock.de/special/wallpaper/800/C-Leg2.bmp
See, Sir Paul had lots of hot one legged models to choose from! Who don’t dream of BECOMING THE NEW POSH!
Treffen Sie neue Posh, selbe wie alte Posh
I’ve noticed a definite surge in the number of Paul McC / Wings tracks being played on the radio of late.
I don’t think that’s something the world really needs more of. It was all much too horrible the first time round.
“I’ve noticed a definite surge in the number of Paul McC / Wings tracks being played on the radio of late.”
So you’re a devotee of Guilty Pleasures FM too. You’re in Melbourne, right?
Rocktober is nearly at an end. So sad.
How’d you go in the Battle of the Bands FDB?
Huh?
If you mean Rocktober Riffs, I got about one out of every 10. Never close to a potential winning entry.
If you think I’ve recently been involved in a battle of the bands – only as a judge, and not for 6 months.
I know nothing of Melbourne radio, but speaking of riffs, Julia Zemiro is a rock goddess. I just wanted to say that.
<img src="http://rocknrolldamnation.wordpress.com/files/2006/07/20e_julia.jpg"
Oh yeah. Although I think ‘goddess’ doesn’t quite capture it. Julia Zemiro is a pantheon of her very own.
Let’s start a cult!
Bags head priestess…
Bags sacramental officiator…
bags masseur.
Who/what can we give in sacrificial offering to appease the mighty Zemiro godbeing?
Absolutelement, Julie Zemiro is a major spunk. And the one advantage of living in Keating Towers, Fitzroy is you get to see her cycle by occasionally!
Wie kommt es dass sie konnen Deutsch sprechen, CK? Meine grammatische ist immer noch scheisse, aber ich hatte gern besser sprechen, irgen tag.
This photo might inspire some ideas, Christine…
<img src="http://www.landmines.org/images/heather_artificial_legs.jpg"
Didja see her outfit on Tuesday night on 10? Stunning.
Well there we are. Answer staring me in the face all the time. We must sacrifice Heather!
Wow Kim, how many legs has that girl actually lost? Accidents and births I can understand, but she’s starting to look a little careless.
Ach Lefty, Ich spreche Deutsches nur durch die vielen Wunder von Babelfish, also ist meine Grammatik vermutlich schlechter als Ihre. Aber ich liebe den Ton von ihm und von nur Wunsch, die ich erlernen könnte.
And FDB why do you want to massage bags (unless they’re of the fun variety)?
I think we need to work out how to set up a Julia Zemiro Temple Trust Fund from Heather’s estate before we proceed with our sacred rites, Christine…
One leg, a lesbian, and always one step ahead Kim.
Heather’s obviously a sucker for cheap publicity. Her publicist’s likely to latch on to any half baked idea. We’ve got the neue Posh angle. So it’s got the award-winning allure of ‘tat’ scrawled all over its boney arse.
I say we get Heather to will her estate to a major charity along the lines of, oooh, ‘the International Childrens Landmine Cancer Africa AIDS Foundation’ from which funds can be readily laundered.
Suck her in with a bit of token exposure involving LP and some cross promotional contra deals with the Ausculture and Rockwiz franchises, and there ya go!
Money in. Temple up. Heather gone. Julia appeased.
Too easy.
Sounds like a plan, Christine.
Since I’m also a one legged former model, perhaps she’ll discover an empathy with me.
Can I be in the cult? Do I get to wear a freaky mask and a robe?
I think a Julia Z mask would be in order.
We’ll have to consider appropriate robe designs…
A cheeky French number would be appropriate.
I wish to announce that the Julia Z cult has its first undead priestess:
<img src="http://www.the11thhour.com/archives/081999/features/images/villians_drusilla.jpg"
*Buffy joke*
And here’s Heather’s welcoming delegation when she comes to Fitzroy, Africa to adopt a Zemiroan orphan, Evil Willow!
<img src="http://www.geekroar.com/leopoldo/archives/vampire_willow-thumb.jpg"
Or an Emma Peel catsuit.
<img src="http://calwestray.tripod.com/images/emma_leather.jpg"
Or perhaps this classic summer styling:
Nude is the new classic summer styling!
I can see it now. Pagan maypole dancing, all very Wicker Man.
We’ll just rename it Wicca Woman or something…
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070917/
Fucking clapped-out zombie non-functioning image source tags
<img src="http://www.fangoria.com/graphics/articles/2604_article.jpg"
Heather, just step inside this interesting tribal structure – it’s part of the initiation rite that will cure AIDS/cancer/save the world/comply with Zemiroan adoption law…
<img src="http://www.shelter-systems.com/images/burning-man-man.jpg"
WTF?!*&%%
I keep whacking the image source code in but when I post there’s no picture and when I view the page source the code’s vanished.
Stupid teh internets.
Email me the code if you like, and the link, Christine, and I’ll fix it.
yellowvinyl (at) gmail (dot) com
Heather continues to inspire a nice turn of phrase in journos:
http://www.theage.com.au/news/in-depth/big-mac-frenzy/2006/10/27/1161749313124.html?page=2
For anyone who’s curious, only the LP cabal may post images. It’s the way Wordpress structures things.
Is that right, tigtog? What it just us posting on the girls with guns thread?
Yup. A few commentors posted links that various LPers then reposted as images, but only logged-in users can post pics.
Sorry to dissapoint all you cultists out there, but I am already in charge of the Julia Z cult, as I am her little sister!
Get out!
Get In!
Im 6 years younger and have been worshipping her since I was about 4!
Sir Paul married Heather of his own free will. Now he has to pay the price for being so silly.
I do hope he has done DNA testing on the little girl…
Heather seemed OK. Unfortunately she went and got some work done.
Wish them both well. Do feel apprehensive for the future of the little girl though.
Boopyscreet – that’s strange; in everything I’ve ever read about Julia Z, she says that she’s an only child!
Julia and I grew up as stepsisters – and although our parents parted ways, after 32 years we consider ourselves sisters. Often it is too difficult to explain, particularly in the media.
For those that know us well, it is not an issue and not something that we need to explain.