What’s with the blonde female characters on the West Wing who talk really fast in annoyingly squeaky voices? I refer to, and condemn, Toby’s new assistant.
Anyway, time again to condemn. So here’s a third open condemnation thread. What’s getting up your goat this week? Which evil political, cultural, social and religious phenomena need condemnation? You can condemn anything you like, except Angela Desveaux’ new record. I do condemn the fact that Canada has such a good indie bluegrass/alt.country scene compared to us.
<img src="http://larvatusprodeo.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/desveaux.jpg"
I condemn Australia and their favourite albums.
I condemn little pieces of glass about five millimetres long, when they’re embedded in the back tyre of my bike. Who treats their beer bottles with such disrespect that they’d throw them on the road?
Recycle, fuckers.
I condemn Coles and their crap “You’ll Love Coles” nonsense. As. If. Home brand food containers tarted up with photos of raddled, pasty, grimacing catalogue models (apologies to any of those models who might happen to be reading and obviously I don’t mean you, it’s more the way COLES have PHOTOSHOPPED your HEAD to make it look SWOLLEN and LEAKY) and sold for far too much.
Corn chips come in salty and less salty; the Salty packet has two Liberal-voting men at a barbeque feeding each other corn chips, and the Less Salty bag has two anorexic girlfriends on the front, also feeding each other corn chips. Oh, i do Not love my foodstuffs gendered, thank you coles ever so much.
Bring back Farmland at LP
I condemn my ten Favourite albums for going up to eleven.
Ascension - Widdershins
LipSnipeGroin - Lighthouse Keepers
Calenture - The Triffids
I'm With Stupid - Aimee Mann
Strange Cargo - The Jackson Code
Bitch Epic - Deborah Conway
A Secret Wish - Propaganda
Penny Century - Clouds
The Last Beautiful Day - New Buffalo
Head Injuries - Midnight Oil
Used And Recovered By... - 3RRR Various Artists
I condemn Coles as well. Higher prices, less product choices. Where’s the ACCC when you need them?
I condemn the fact that it looks like it’s too easy for some people to find a reason to use the blame Canada tag in their posts.
I spent a big chunk of my weekend on season 7 of WW. She does have annoying voice but is good for comedy relief…
I condemn the cold.
I condemn the temptation I succumbed to, Phil.
I condemn those fucking idiots who charge into the lift without waiting to see if others want to leave it first.
However I have a cunning plan here. Just hack the software so the doors occasionally open on empty lift wells. And then let natural selection take its course.
I also condemn people who blithely condemn stuff without offering a solution.
(I have no answer to this particular condemnation issue.)
I condemn expensive $25/bottle wine, WITH a screw-cap, that’s friggin’ gone off. What ever happened to f%%&$#n quality control!!
I also condemn anyone who doesn’t like Beth Gibbons and Runstin Man.
I condemn pepole who charge onto the bus without waiting to see if anyone is getting off.
I also condemn the general lack of manners in this town, people here don’t apologise for anything unless you are bleeding.
I condemn the 7:30 report for not putting up transcripts fast enough.
I condemn everyone who doesn’t know about Beth Gibbons and Rustin Man when they could easily remedy it by going to this website:
http://www.bethgibbons.com/outofseason/
Oh, and I condemn the lack of a Labor love-in thread so that people for Labor supporters to talk up the party and it’s chances next year in the wake of all this leadership guff.
I condemn the fact that you won’t find a Labor love-in thread over at Mr Lefty’s:
http://anonymouslefty.blogspot.com/2006/12/duh-vs-meh.html
I condemn Angela Desveaux for having 816 friends.
I condemn the fact that I already went there with the intent on changing the mood but then just got pissed off with the ranting and raving by all so I left and came here and started to post comments about what I condem.
What the hell, I condemn leftist idealism because circumstaces often dictate that idealism is rarely ideal and is rather just oversimplifying.
I condemn myself for wanting to “friend” Ms Desveaux on myspace.
I condemn the following ferals:
1. foxes
2. cats
3. cane toads
4. rabbits
5. pigs
6. goats
7. buffalo
8. common mynahs
9. black birds
10. animal liberationists
A ten shekel bounty should be placed on the head of all of the above vermin.
I also condemn myself for expanding my musical tastes since about the mid 1980s.
Oops. That should read “not expanding”.
Scary monsters, super creeps la la la la
I condemn Mark for condemning Toby’s new assistant on The West Wing. She’s by far the best character they’ve introduced for ages and tonight she was the highlight of a lacklustre double episode. For the life of me I can’t remember her name, though.
I condemn the fact that while I have thousands of songs on my Ipod I couldn’t manage to find just the right album to listen to on my way to work this morning.
“7. buffalo”
Buffalo? You condemn *buffalo*?! They friggin rool, man!
Besides, the Buffalo Club rocks. Or at least it used to. Haven’t been there in like seven fucking years…
I also condemn that I there are only about 18 episodes of the West Wing left for me to watch.
I condemn Angela Desveaux for being just another indie charisma-free jumped-up folk singer.
And I condemn Steve M for his irrational hatred of imported species. I mean he’s one himself.
I condemn Nabs for breaking the thread rules.
And I condemn Eddie Everywhere for not getting the hints about scheduling the Sopranos at midnight on channel 9 on Mondays:
<img src="http://www.hbo.com/sopranos/img/cast/character/tony_soprano.jpg"
I condemn you all for condemning trivial and only mildly unpleasant things and for missing the real wrongs in this seriously messed-up world – especially brussel sprouts.
Nabakov:
“And I condemn Steve M for his irrational hatred of imported species. I mean he’s one himself.”
Huh? Homo sapiens have been here for somewhere between 40 and 60,000 years. That’s long enough to meet my definition if indigenous.
I condemn Adobe for making a ‘lite’ version of a video editing program that can edit the video from my phone where the ‘pro’ version can’t.
How can you condemn me?
<img src="http://www.knitemare.org/cats/cookieday.jpg"
I condemn Zarquon for not including New Buffalo in his list.
i condemn my dentist for turning the gas down 3/4 the way through my temp. crown procedure.
i was so fucking high, the music was playing right inside my skull…..suddenly it was back to some bloke with his mitts in my mouth, and hard metal drills etc.
i condemn myself for not demanding (via extreme hand-signalling techniques) that he turn it back on!!
You thought this thread was serious Steve M? Next time bring the funny with you.
Also I condemn people for dismissing Super Troopers as a cheap piece of stoner humour without watching it stoned.
It’s a sly and wry contempory honky version of Car Wash, which itself is another sadly neglected Jacques Tati-style observational humour meets bawdy American jokes flick.
Anna,
Because when it grows up it does this: http://www.calm.wa.gov.au/projects/west_shield_article.html
Super Troopers! Thanks Nabs, I’ve been trying to remember the name of that movie for about 2 months now.
I condemn the phrase “a bucketload of energy”.
Boring, Steve. Time for some…
<img src="http://www.knitemare.org/cats/JazzHandsCat2.jpg"
I condemn Anna for the piccies. Someone has to do it. Still, I don’t mind the Asahi beer.
That’s nothing Stevo. My cat does this.
Or at least she used to until she signed up with Blackwater and moved to Iraq. Now all I get is the occasional postcard and Fedexed pickled ear.
Super Troopers is worth a look Mick. It may not be to everyone’s taste but if yer the kinda person who found Bill Murray and Chevy Chase hilarious in Caddyshack, then you’ll get something out of this flick.
Not you though Stevo, ‘specially ‘cos of the “meow” gag.
I condemn bars that don’t serve the Asahi.
I condemn Julia’s boring hair.
Already seen it, I was trying to remember the name of it so I could hunt it down for a friend. Meow.
I condemn that horrible jacket she was wearing.
I condemn morons on mixing desks who don’t understand that trumpets can be really fscking painful if overamplified.
The context of my condemnation is the otherwise wonderful Cat Empire at the Forum in Melbourne on Friday night. They’ve got quite the back catalogue these days…
Oh, and I condemn Asahi. It’s Budweiser with extra katakana. Gimme some Chimay Blue or, slightly less ostentatiously, how about a Mountain Goat Hightail Ale?
I condemn myself and my girlfriend for being to busy to find a bar that serves Asahi on the weekend and for staying at home drinking Kahlua instead.
I condemn this photo of Kev and Julia:
[link]
See what I mean about that bloody awful jacket?
And I condemn Robert Merkel for seeing so many good bands.
I condemn Robert for reminding me about how good Chimay is.
I condemn the drunken shenanigans that Chimay induces.
I condemn myself for not having heard of Chimay.
Now that ‘Car Wash’ has been brought up, I must condemn everyone who won’t sing along.
Get your car washed today!
If it rains, then ya don’t have to pay!
Come on and give us a break!
Talkin’ bout the car wash,
Come on and sing it with me
Car wash, yeah.
Also, now that I think of it, all the bizarre variations that have annoyed various of my employers over the years:
Workin’ at the Bauhaus!
Come on and build it with me,
Bauhaus, yeah!
Whoa, whoa, talkin’ about the Bauhaus,
Get wit Das Feelin y’all,
Bauhaus, yeah!
I condemn Chimay as an excellent Belgian beer with an alcohol content hovering about 11%.
I condemn the Currency Lad for not having yet moved a condolence motion in which he accidentally-on-purpose gets Kim Beazley’s brother’s name wrong to comic effect.
It’s been over 14 hours now.
I also condemn the ABC for showing question time in the Senate and not the House.
Today of all days.
I condemn the “Elferhaus” which is the closest pub to my house that serves Chimay. [link]
Oh, and I condemn myself for that link. It’s a dumb website with a bad design and lots of dead links. I condemn pubs that don’t respect TEH INTERTUBES!
Another Car Wash fan! I know Franklyn Ajaye who played TC -”The Fly” – in that sadly underated flick and he told me that most of the funniest scenes were pretty much improvised on the spot.
They basically took over a real car wash for about a fortnight with about 50 script pages max, some serious party enhancements, and with Joel Schumacher acting as ringmaster while also talking Rose Royce into doing the theme.
I miss that lovely sloppy 70s vibe.
mick, re the 7:30 Report – blame the outsourcing of news/current affairs captioning and transcript preparation to an international consortium who can’t be bothered to put it up quickly instead of the ACC who did it faster, better.
OK fatfingers. I condemn the aforementioned consortium whoever they are.
Kim: “…I condemn myself for not having heard of Chimay.”
Goodness gracious. Actually that’s rather a serious offence in the School of Alcohol Rectitude. Chimay, of course, is TEH CHIMAYNESS.
Fortunately you can atone for your error by singing ‘Car Wash’ and its variants along with me…
Verk! And verk!
Ja, those Baus never seem ta stop comin’!
Verk! And verk!
Keep dose Bauhaus machines hummin’!
Verk! And verk!
Mein fingers do tha walkin’…
Vell, you get das Idea. Keep zinging until you are Vorgiven!
And I condemn all the people who placed my last comment out of chronological order with the one it was referring to through their dullard interjections about a crap euro beer with an overly floral nose and about Clinton Derangement Lad.
“with an alcohol content hovering about 11%.”
If you’re keen on clocking that kinda figure, why bother drinking beer at all?
Why not get outside a nice 15 year old Dalwhinnie instead? 43% sheer booze by volume you mofos! And the other 57% strikes a nice balance between the peaty taciturn power of the Islays and the smoother Lord of the Manor notes of the Speysiders.
Shame it only comes at my local bottlo in the easily emptied 700ml size.
*hiccoup*
I condemn those who think that I don’t take my booze seriously enough. Chimay should not be appreciated for the alcohol content but rather it’s ability to get my girlfriend to break her 8 year long beer hiatus. It does have an overly floral nose though.
“It does have an overly floral nose though.”
Don’t sweat it mick. You drink enough good whisky and you’ll end up with an overly floral nose too.
I condemn Europeans for consistently choosing to drink beer over decent whiskey. I’ve been to plenty of bars around town here where Johnny Red is the top shelf.
“I’ve been to plenty of bars around town here where Johnny Red is the top shelf.”
That was a chilling observation. Johnny Red’s only fit for trading on oil rigs, bribing desert bandits or as a Xmas present for yer girlfriend’s unpleasent pater.
So where the fuck are you now mick? Stuck in Nadi, Entebbe, Brussels or Ice Station Zebra?
It chilled me to the bone. I was in one of the “swankest” cocktail bars here the other week and ordered a dry martini, the bartender opened a bottle of “Martini” vermouth and poured it into a glass.
Oh I see mick, after a quick peek at your blog, I gather you’re in MittleEuropa now. All the best quality booze in that continent is found towards the littoral – whisky, whiskey, calvados, cognac, grappa, aquavit and Prussian schnapps.
Vodka is of course utterly sui generis although the Baltic states do turn out some classic drops here.
“all the best quality booze”
should read
“all the best quality fiery booze”.
The citizens of Burgandy, Chablis, Épaney and the Rhine can now sleep easily at night.
Pretty much. The schnapps isn’t bad. One good thing about being in these parts is winding up the Bavarians and Austrians about how no-one outside of Central Europe gives a toss about the Germanic beers. It devestates them to find out that the most consumed German beer is Becks.
And speaking of MittleEuropa, here’s one of the funniest things Grahame Greene ever wrote. All about the small town burgher mentality you’d find in the heart of that weird continent.
I stopped taking the Nobel literature prize seriously when I first found out Greene never got one. Although if Pynchon finally scores a dynamite gong, I may change my mind.
I condemn Kim for not noticing New Buffalo is number 9 on my list.
I condemn bars that serve Asahi Super Dry but neglect to supply the required Japanese girls for the full effect.
In fact I condemn all bars in WA.
I condemn Target for putting the size 8 jeans on the top tow of stands and the size 16 jeans low down on the bottom row so that I have to crawl around the floor on my hands and knees to find a pair that fits.
I condemn gum chewing teenage girls who giggle at me.
I condemn ABC Learning Centres and their latest emotionally blackmailing television adverts and the fact that the Govt is propping up the millionaire owner to the detriment of non-profit community-based childcare centres.
That was a bit serious wasn’t it? Well, I condemn people who use their wippersnipper when I’m trying to work on the back deck.
WRT German beer, it’s bizarre, hundreds of decent beers and the one that gets exported is some identikit lager from Berlin.
I DON’T condemn Toby’s new assistant. I think she’s great.
I condemn the American soldiers in Abu Ghraib who filmed themselves raping children, and the Department of Defence that blocks that evidence from being seen.
http://www.correntewire.com/republican_people_of_the_lie_must_disgorge_the_abu_ghraib_child_rape_photos_videos_judge_rules
I condemn the fact that Car Wash introduces new characters and whole plotlines with about 15 minutes to go and then doesn’t follow them up. It should have been 3 hours long or had a sequel.
Has anyone seen The Van? Much better. I condemn you if you haven’t.
I’ll add to your condemn Georg.
My smallish community’s last locally owned child centre was just sold to a large conglomerate. No there is no choice. ABC, Hutchinson or no one.
I condemn people who drink foreign pretentious beer, when Oz has the best beer on earth.
I also condemn people who worsen the phenomenon by placing a slice of lemon in their Corona.
Mick, I condemn you for having the chance to do this. And I condemn myself for leaving it so late to get myself series 7, and therefore have to wait a whole month until I move to Canberra.
And I also condemn myself for only drinking Chimay and blonde varieties when it comes to beer – I grew up in Qld for flip’s sake!
Mark, I’ve reached the point where I can’t condemn Mister Lefty’s navel-gazin’ paranoid ‘whoa, dude, like, preferences’ vibe any more. It’s like a freak-show of self-description and auto-absorption, or like Woody Allen BA LLB (without the humour).
…
Sydneysiders, take the train to Cabramatta and treat yourselves to the German-Austrian Social Club, if you want the German Beer and Carbohydrate Experience.
I condemn Yobbo for not yet having posted on Ben Cousins again making a drunken arse of himself. Or has that bit of news been excised from WA’s sport pages?
I condemn Mr D. Bowie, of London, New York and other foreign climes, for having written and performed the song Jean Genie which is buzzing around inside my head like a blowfly in a dunny.
I condemn getting old.
That photo of R&G demonstrates that they are just at the age where you can REALLY see what they will look like as they age.
That chin of R’s will get a kind of shiny look, and little pink rashes.
I condemn my liver for not being able to tolerate more than one can of beer or two bottles of Smirnoff Ice.
I condemn Mick for talking about beer, hmmmm cold beer, when it’s 30degrees outside.
I condemn myself for commenting so much on this thread.
But if you go to see him steal away the acting honours in Prestige, which has Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale and Michael Caine in it, you will have to un-condemn him again.
The Prestige.
I condemn Zoe’s lack of blogging updates.
*
I condemn Dodo internet who made me go to the Ombudsman before they would talk to me and for their staff generally being really crap except for their CS officer in Manilla. I condemn them for paying their remaining Aussie staff so badly that when you actually get to talk to them they are really really rude. I condemn them for making me find another photo so I can register yet another gravatar. But mostly I condemn them for just being really really crap.
Mr Bowie could not be condemned by anyone who has seen Series 2 of “Extras”.
I condemn the telly for not showing it yet. I heart Ampersand Duck what bit torrented it for me, although I condemn her for not getting the cricket.