I can already hear the groaning, and the horrified cries â âOh God, itâs back from the grave! Whereâs the salt, the catgut and the surgical needle?â?
This little scenario is inspired by a question thatâs been vexing me for a couple of years and recently returned to distract me from dealing with real-life stuff, thanks to the discussion of religious education on my post âWho Doesnât Believe?â?.
Arthur (Artie) Apparatchik is a staffer in the Electorate Office of one of Australiaâs dumbest Senators. One morning, a distressed young girl arrives in the electorate office and bursts into tears, all over the Senatorâs glossy promotional literature. She wants the Senatorâs help with a personal problem â she doesnât know where else to turn.
Artie fobs her off onto one of the officeâs volunteer tea ladies to get her story â heâs not really that good with the touchy-feely stuff. The tea lady passes the girlâs story on to Artie later.
The girlâs parents are members of a clannish religious organisation whose members avoid contact with the secular world as much as possible. The girl is enrolled in one of the sect’s schools and is currently in Year 10.
Unbeknown to her parents, she has been dabbling in worldly contacts and worldly pleasures. Through a forbidden friend she has sampled the forbidden delights of the Harry Potter series, and other forbidden literature. Sheâs also conceived the desire to continue her education to Year 12 and qualify for university entrance so that she can become a post-modernist.
She hasnât yet told her parents about this â their expectation, and the expectation of her school, is that she will leave school at the end of this year and take a job, working in a business owned by another member of the sect. This is not what the girl wants for herself.
So hereâs the usual question: what should Artie do?
The issue here, as I see it, is a conflict between the generally accepted parental right (although Iâm more inclined to regard it as a prerogative) to decide what is in the best interests of their children and the girlâs right to self-determination. But of course, thereâs also Artyâs political situation and self-interest to consider, and the girlâs legal situation. Have fun!
Artie is the employer, not the confessor. If he involves himself, then poor fool him. There are dyed-in-the-wool agencies which are purpose designed for this kind of advice. Point the adolescent in that direction and leave well enough alone. Besides, as a Senator, he has much more on his plate to be going on with, presumably.
One aspect of this can be easily fixed. While the Harry Potter series may indeed be pomo in its pastiche aspect (in which, indeed, it glories, despite the common misapprehension that this is derivative rather than what it actually is, ie knowing and celebratory), it’s still the very opposite of morally relativist, being nothing less than a fable of Good v Evil with a pretty clear message that love is the redemptive force in life.
This fact squares away fairly nicely with Christianity, and so should help to divert the parents’ minds from Teh Evil stuff like Quidditch, Bertie Botts’ Every Flavour Beans and other regrettable delights.
Artie should explain to the young woman that an ambition to be a postmodernist isn’t intellectually or morally consistent with her love of Harry Potter, and anyway will only lead to endless misunderstandings at a federal level, because nobody connected with the federal government appears to be capable of grasping what postmodernism is. (He shouldn’t spell that last bit out.)
He should then advise her to leave school for the moment and take the job her parents have lined up for her, with a view to saving up so that when she’s 18 she has a bit of financial, as well as legal, independence to do what she wants. Including go back and finish school.
I suspect that someone has been playing with her head. An unlikely ‘immaculate’ conception.
Artie should advise her to ‘make up her own mind’. Which she will do anyway given her ambition to become a post-modernist.
It’s a fair question, Mr Trotsky, striking as it does at the heart of the cultural relativist/absolutist divide.
There’s no good answer. The child can either bow to her parent’s commands while vigorously prosecuting her case at the dinner table or else run away.
Artie should advise the conservative course of action. If the state has not legislated compulsory schooling beyond Year 10, then the wishes of the parent need be respected.
The community must not coercively interfere in a family’s culture except in cases where there are established b&w laws that mandate the interference.
Artie should distract her by getting her to stuff envelopes for the next big mailout and attempt to sign her up as a member of the Young [insert party name]s.
Post – modernism has been known to have been actively mixed up in repackaging Leninism ( highly toxic red or left fascism) even right here in Oz.
( Sear Fibreculture archive circa Oct 2003 )
Everyone needs to be warned about this…even teenagers who go to extremes as an act of rebellion sometimes.
I would have thought that someone calling themselves ‘ Gummo Trotsky’ would have known all about this.
I thought this question had been settled a very long time ago. The girl should run off into the woods along with three of her other young, attractive friends; there, they should unwittingly get mixed up in the secret doings of faerie magick, and experience all manner of delightful romantic misunderstandings; which, charming as they are, still aren’t nearly as funny as the other parts of the play.
I’ve seen the film of that, I think.
<img src="http://www.geocities.com/womenofhorror/craft.jpg"
Betcha laughed at The Producers though Prof.
I mean what is the point of having crazed and murderous idealogues if you can’t make fun of them?
I’m often amused by how some just fixate on the second part of Gummo Trotsky’s net de plume while either wilfully or ignorantly ignoring the first part and the accompanying gravatar.
But I guess some just see what they want to say.
“they should unwittingly get mixed up in the secret doings of faerie magick, and experience all manner of delightful romantic misunderstandings; which, charming as they are, still aren’t nearly as funny as the other parts of the play.”
Then the sexually frustrated/carnivorous psycho with the nine inch gold blade turns up and it all ends in tears. And several sequels.
And Kim, you gotta check out Spiderbaby if that kinda thing is your thing.
Shoot the hostage.
Keanu,
With a surname like yours, surely you’d know that the correct procedure is to shoot the anarchist, then the hostage. Unless, of course, there are no anarchists handy. Then you have to make do with a menshevik.
And now that I’ve acquainted myself with the philosophical views of Prof Bagaric the answer to the question “What should Artie do?” is obvious – he should set up an appointment with the Senator who, as a pragmatic and accountable politician, will advise her in how best to serve the common good.
or she could hatch a cunning plan involving proposing to Christopher Pearson in a selfless act of personal sacrifice, and apply for funding from numerous authorities and institutions to develop The Family Institute, dedicated to leading the youth of Ozstralia upon the path of righteousness and values, values. Involving of course many many junkets overseas & finally a position on the ABC board. Go girl.
WARNING: At this point I’m probably going to tread the line between going all deep-and-meaningful and simply taking the piss – and fail dismally at both!
1. Remind the poor lass that while going to uni is an honourable ambition, simply ‘becoming a post-modernist’ isn’t really a goal in itself – in short, it’s hard to put food on the table when you argue the toss as to whether there’s a table to put it on or not. Besides, a po-mo EB ex-communicant is about as clichéed as a gay Mormon…
2. Cutting oneself adrift from your family at 16, unless there’s proof of assault, can be difficult. Maybe try and knuckle down until the age of 18, then consider making a break for it. One snag though: while the idea of saving up for the ‘leaving day’ is a good one, a problem with such a sect is that women, let alone girls, are aloowed little or no control over finances – how else do you explain the number of rich men said to populate (and dominate) it?
3. The other option is to suggest making some more ‘worldly’ contacts and try to tee up some external accomodation that way. There are agencies out there to provide support, and these can assist in helping the lass to establish herself in the ‘real’ world. And no, offering her use of your couch in the interim is not an option.
4. Last, but not least, give her the number of Michael Bachelard at The Age: he’ll think all his Christmases has come at once!
(P.S. My good friend Steve ‘Roundhouse-kick-a-Green Day’ Brown suggested that Artie should press an ALP membership form into the girl’s hands – but I told him to shut up before I suggested parallels between his boss and a certain Shane Maloney character.)