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77 responses to “Yup, peanut butter convinces me!”

  1. glen

    “Waiter, waiter!”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “There is teh life in my peanut butters.”

  2. mick

    AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. mick

    Sorry, but

    AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

    I can’t seem to stop screaming when I see that clip. It’s just too terrifying for words.

  4. Steve D

    Intelligent design proponents are actually proof that there was no intelligent design.

    I hadn’t seen that before…it has to be a parody…doesn’t it? Please?????

  5. Katz

    Well, it convinced me.

    I’m certain I saw God in that jar of peanut butter, coz that was smoothe peanut butter, and I hate crunchy peanut butter.

    Crunchy peanut butter is Teh Devil.

  6. David Rubie

    Bite your tongue Katz. Crunchy peanut butter is a little piece of heaven, especially on really hot toast so it gets all gooey and crunchy at the same time. Underpin it with a layer of vegemite first and you have naughty breakfast heaven in 30 seconds flat.

    Actually, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen spontaneous created life in many jars of peanut butter, but I just kept eating – it’ll happen again in a few jars anyway.

  7. Pollytickedoff

    Crunchy peanut butter is Teh Devil.

    That’s better :)

    Mick couldn’t have put it better.

  8. Matt

    It’s an interesting angle on discrediting evolution that I haven’t seen before. None of the skepticism about the tree of life as in “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle”, instead a contrast between the story whose end has already been told and the story that has no end. Certainty versus uncertainty. The known versus the unknown. These Yanks certainly do irony!

    As is often the case though with thought provoking material, this fillum raises more questions than it answers: Like if “new life” is microscopic wouldn’t it be hard to see? Or how would I recognise “new life” if I could see it? Or does the energy that the food processing industry expends on preventing outside life from getting in make it drop the ball on evolution? And are fairy tales really just made up stories that simplify complex issues for an audience to easily identify truths that they already know or are required to learn?

    I for one will be now forever wary of engineers bearing peanut butter.

  9. Helen

    “You may laugh”…

    He got that bit right.

  10. Katz

    No fair!

    It took life billions of years to come into existence in the real world.

    The shelf-life of peanut butter is much shorter than that. And who keeps a jar of peanut butter for billions of years? It’s unhygienic.

    Moreover, any spontaneously generated peanut butter life would be minuscule. Under normal circumstances we’d be spreading it on our sandwiches unaware of the evolutionary processes we were consuming.

    What do the creationists think should be found in a jar of peanut butter? Mastodons?

  11. amphibious

    MATT – the septics ARE irony but they don’t realise it which makes them so… ironic?
    SteveD – perfectly pinged! Can I use that aphorism?

  12. Jobby

    And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the peanut butter.

  13. FDB

    Oh noes!!1! I can has noo brane now pleez?

    But wait a sec – didn’t they spot the ant in their own clip?

    Definitive proof of not only spontaneous life, but instant multi-cellular complex life!!! Evolution’s back, baby – and it ain’t happy.

  14. Lynda Hopgood

    All the intelligent design sceptics (or indeed, the ordinary God sceptics) might be interested in the site:

    http://www.whydoesgodhateamputees.com/

    Sorry – I’m no good with those link thingies. Can you be an atheist AND a troglodyte at the same time?

  15. Lynda Hopgood

    Ooh! It worked!

  16. FDB

    “Can you be an atheist AND a troglodyte at the same time?”

    As long as you have faith.

  17. doug

    If new life was found in a jar of peanut butter than it would be a miracle from god or a sign of the end of days :-) !!!

    Come to think of it why has God been so lazy of late? we have extinctions of all these perfect creatures he created round the world you would think he would replace a few occasionally.

    Surely if these peoples god was real we would get new species with our peanut butter!!!

  18. Roger Jones

    tigtog,

    this is just too beautiful for words. It makes me want to hang up my computer models and become a street-corner preacher, fired up by God’s special logic that is available to only too few of us. The ergot derivative of a special madness that we may find in the crunchy goodness of underground fruits.

    Perhaps some bastard radiating peanut butter jars, and the exotic new forms of life it spawns, is the source of the anaphylactic scourge of our kindergartens and daycare centres.

    Perhaps NASA could just take a jar of Kraft’s finest to Mars and leave it there to bathe in the cosmic rayshine. Could be the inspiration for a blockbuster musical about the war to end all worlds.

  19. Mercurius

    This video provides irrefutable proof that we are descended from apes.

  20. Mercurius

    BTW, does the video go on to explain why the world’s food industry wouldn’t exist if there was new life in a jar of peanut butter?

    If I opened a jar of peanut butter and found new life inside, the first thing I would do is go and buy a second jar of peanut butter.

    Step one – Put evolution in the peanut butter.
    Step two – Sell replacement peanut butter.
    Step three – PROFIT!

  21. Martin B

    “I would rather be the offspring of two apes than be a man and afraid to face the truth.”

  22. Chris Mayer

    I think I still prefer ‘The Banana: The atheists nightmare’, mainly cause Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort are such a formidable team you are left with no rebuttal to them.

  23. Alex

    IDiot’s may not have descended from apes, but they are certainly at risk of being conquered by them.

  24. Tyro Rex

    Wrong’s cousin? This is not even on the same planet as wrong.

  25. Cliff

    I saw a pretty good rebuttal to that banana one on youtube… basically, the banana as we know was selected by human domestication and breeding to be convenient for our consumption (the video cuts to a picture of a Papua New Guinean tribesman with a subtitle saying “God?” – PNG is thought to be the place where Bananas were first domesticated). Anyone sceptical about natural selection occurring over a billion years (and more… not sure as to the exact age of life on earth) should pause for thought at the examples of how quickly human selection has produced a greater variety within species in only several thousand years. The fact that Paris Hilton’s chihuahua has ancestors that resembled wolves only 10-20 thousand years ago should silence the creationists.

    I saw another video of an interview with Kirk Cameron by Bill O’Reilly where Kirk’s major argument for intelligent design was the camera lens he was looking into, which could only have been made by the intelligent design of humans, but is still less sophisticated than the human eye. Ergo, eyes must have been designed. It struck me how topsy turvy that argument was… making inferences as to the nature of an organic eye with reference to an instrument which was designed as an imitation of an eye. Kinda like looking at a photocopied print of Guernica and concluding that Picasso must have produced the original masterpiece using a Xerox machine. The intelligent design hypothesis is ridiculously anthropocentric… the things of nature must have been produced through intelligent design because that’s how we produce things. Its positing a human intelligence at the beginning, when in fact, as Darwin and numerous others have clearly shown, we don’t arrive on the scene until a geological nano-second ago. It took billions of years for nature to evolve a creature capable of intelligent design… and these kooks think it was there at the beginning!

  26. doug

    This got me thinking.

    How many of you good god fearing people have found life evolving in your refrigerators?

    I know I have seen thing that defy description scuttling about in mine after a while.

    Food + Power + Cold + Time = Evolution :-)

    So simple

  27. mick

    My officemates just pointed me to another pearler of a YouTube clip along similar lines:

  28. doug

    http://www.eternal-productions.org/creation.html

    these are the guys who made the video

    You may like to ask them a few questions

    there is a contact link to jtetlow1@rochester.rr.com

    Be polite and have fun :-)

  29. jo

    the banana with it’s non-slip surface

    …….as used in old people’s homes, in the bottom of bathtubs etc…. bananas and their renowned ‘non-slip’ qualities…lol

    thanks tigs & mick.

  30. Resin dog

    No spontaneous life in my peanut butter, therefore god exists – hmmm…

    The god botherers often deliberately confuse evolution and the origin of life. Evolution explains a path from primordial ooze to George Bush (probably not a good example) and is an ongoing process.

    Darwin’s theory does not attempt to explain the origin of life, which only had to happen once.

  31. Tony D

    Bacon is the best proof of Intelligent Design…

    Oh, and midgets. Forgot about the midgets.

  32. anthony

    If peanut butter came from peanuts then why are there still peanuts?

  33. Paul Burns

    Beware all you doubters!
    God made peanut allergies.

  34. Shaun

    Praise the Lord and pass the peanut butter!

  35. Shaun

    Seriously, the Dover trial marked the end of ID and the movement is dying a deserved death. There is still the occasional flare up in the US but the trend is extinction for ID.

    In Australia, there has been no tractions what so ever outside of some Christian schools.

    It is a lost cause. Not because of some grand scientific conspiracy but simply due to ID having bugger all scientific or intellectual rigor. As the video well demonstrates.

  36. The Devil Drink

    OK then. It’s morning tea time:
    30ml white rum
    30ml Baileys
    15ml chocolate topping
    1 teaspoon peanut butter (smooth or chunky, whatever)
    1 teaspoon ice cream (pick flavour to taste, vanilla, caramel and chocolate all work pretty well)
    Coconut flakes for the rim of the glass
    Shake very well.

  37. David Rubie

    The Devil Drink wrote:

    Shake very well.

    Got the DT’s?

  38. Ambigulous

    tigtog,

    youse done real good cobber, that’s a GEM :-) :-) :-) And your reference to the Klein bottle was the icing on top of the peanut butter cookie, though I prefer Mr Rubie’s hot-buttered-toast serving suggestion @ 9.14am yesterday.

  39. Pavlov's Cat

    Apparently there’s also such a thing as peanut butter icing. There’s even an (I think) Indonesian-influenced soup I made once involving red peppers and peanut buttter. Against all the odds, it was divine.

    These things prove that God exists, and prove also that the Power will win the AFL Grand Final. Which would also prove that God exists.

  40. Ambigulous

    Go Cats!

    Does it feel strange, not barracking for your feline cousins, Pavlov’s? Don’t you ache for that sadly missing furry fellow-feeling?

    Oops, Off Topic Alert! Off Topic Alert! … no mention of Peanut Butter or Peabut Nutter… :-)

  41. Ambigulous

    Peabut Nutter

    A disciple of Creationism, reborn as an Intelligent Designer, who believes that Gregor Mendel’s experiments on peas demonstrated that Peas can develop A**holes (Pea butts). And he can probably point to a website [operated by his step cousin Earl] where it’s clearly PROVED. Though no mention of this revelation in thar Old Test’m'nt.

  42. tigtog

    Wrong’s cousin? This is not even on the same planet as wrong.

    Well of course not anymore. Being the Wrong family’s secret shame, this cousin was shipped off to a decayed attic in a spooky house on a sinking island on an obscure planet in a dysfunctional solar system in an unfashionable arm of a collapsing galaxy. On the wrong side of the cosmic tracks.

  43. Helen

    Moreover, any spontaneously generated peanut butter life would be minuscule. Under normal circumstances we’d be spreading it on our sandwiches unaware of the evolutionary processes we were consuming.

    What if the entire universe were a crunchy bit of someone’s peanut butter toast and the Supreme Being was just about to take a bite out of it and munch us all up?

    PROVE ME WRONG.

  44. Ambigulous

    Cain’t prove you wrong, but don’t SEEM right Missy Helen, ‘cos folks hereabouts cain’t smell no peanut butter crunchy bit, ummmm there’s jest an overpowerin’ whiff of horsesheet every time thet preacher guy weeth them sciencey books shows us thet fillum about Peanut Butter

    Shucks

  45. Ambigulous

    Wrong’s cousin?? ‘s thet what happened to the poor little critter Miss Tiggy? Aw shoot, we allus wondered what thems did fer ‘im after he got “lost” one day on the excursion to the town rubbish dump that Missy Brownwurn organised fer our spesh’l treat at the spesh’l skool

  46. Ambigulous

    Least ways ‘e got a mighty nice trip out o’ thet ‘n mebbe he’s better off not stayin’ on this p’rtickler planet anyhows, eh Missy Tiggy?

  47. Paul Burns

    The Universe is not made of Peanut Butter. Like the moon it is made of Green Cheese. Which is why the moon landing never really took place. I also have it on good authority from the Venusians that Mars is made of a very nasty red goat cheese which is why we left there and came here.
    Don’t you guys know God is a foodie. And what’s more he’s brought on this climate change thing because as a devoted foodie he just hates McDonalds and Kentucky Fried.

  48. Jobby

    I pity those who are lost to this blasphemous peanut butter talk while ignoring the True Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I have been touched by his noodly appendage.

  49. Plastic Druid

    What fascinates me is that the guy who presented this argument with such conviction was nevertheless intelligent enough to tie his own tie. Maybe it’s one of those elasticated jobbies.

  50. Pavlov's Cat

    the guy who presented this argument with such conviction was nevertheless intelligent enough to tie his own tie

    I bet his wife did it.

    Actually I was too busy pricing the fancy threads to think about how his tie got its knot. Clearly he is one of those Christians who believe that God wants you to be rich while you wait for the Rapture.

    Me, I get Raptured when I allow myself to eat peanut butter, which is once in a blue-green cheese moon.

  51. anthony

    Jobby

    You could make an ecumenical gesture to His Noodliness with a nice egg noodle, peanut butter and chopped spring onion base for a stir-fry.

  52. anthony

    What fascinates me is that the guy who presented this argument with such conviction was nevertheless intelligent enough to tie his own tie. Maybe it’s one of those elasticated jobbies.

    What scares me is how often they’re engineers.

  53. su

    You could make an ecumenical gesture to His Noodliness

    But is the big linguine not a jealous god? You don’t want to condemn your third and fourth generations with a blasphemous sauce.

  54. jinmaro

    I think he is hot.

  55. anthony

    Ut In Omnisauce Glorificetur Dei

  56. Dev Null

    I just love the fact that the first dude comes on and says “any theory” – presumably including the bible – “for the origin of life is a fairy tale”, and is then immediately followed by Smarm Lass who tells us what he said: “any theory EXCEPT THE BIBLE is a fairy tale.” Not only can life be spontaneously created from nothing, but so, apparently, can information…

  57. Paul Burns

    I had peanut butter on toast for breakfast this morning.This has put me in a bit of a theological quandary.
    I am not sure if it means:
    1. I have just taken communion.
    2.I have become God-like.
    3.I am God.
    4.I’m just confused.

  58. TimT

    What scares me is how often they’re engineers.

    There was a chappie I knew at university who fit that description neatly – namely, he was studying engineering and voiced sympathy for the creationist cause.

    It’s a coincidence – right?

  59. doug

    I have written to the makers of this video jtetlow1@rochester.rr.com asking the following question “why would an intelligent designer make parasitic worms that eat people?”

    I know I like a good joke at someone’s expense and I have a sick sense of humor but these things are beyond even my idea of a joke
    ==============================================

    Sorry to bother you but I have a problem understanding the theory of Intelligent Design regarding some animals listed below. Can you please explain why an intelligent designer would make so many of these things and let them lose in the world?

    I look forward to your reply

    cheers Doug *****

    ================================================

    Eight known species of filarial worms infect humans. They are divided into three categories: worms that invade tissue and skin, those that reside in the lymphatic system, and those that thrive in areas around the stomach, lungs, and heart.

    The parasites Wuchereria bancrofti, Brugia malayi, and Brugia timori cause lymphatic filariasis. Worsening symptoms often lead to a condition known as elephantiasis, which causes unusually large swelling in the extremities.

    River blindness, technically called onchocerciasis, is also a serious condition as this filarial worm – Onchocerca volvulus – is responsible for lesions on the eye and diseases of the skin.

    Infections caused by the loa loa, or eye worm, may include swelling and skin eruptions. As the loa loa worm migrates through the eyeball, the sensation is psychologically unpleasant as well. Mansonella streptocerca is a third species known to reside in skin and deeper tissue.

    Mansonella perstans and Mansonella ozzardi inhabit the stomach and lung cavities and are also found, although less often, around the heart.

    Animal heartworms, also classified as filariae, very rarely may invade the human system and migrate to the lungs. They cannot survive inside a human body, but will cause scar tissue and may be mistaken for a cancer nodule. In some cases, pain and a persistent cough will alert a doctor to the condition, but the node itself will cause no long-term harm.

    Filarial worm infestations occur in several countries, including Australia, Africa, the Philippines, Asia, and South America. And, somewhat surprisingly, human worm infections are one of the leading causes of disability, especially those that affect the eyes and the lymph vessels.

  60. Amanda

    What scares me is how often they’re engineers.

    This has been noted before:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salem_hypothesis

  61. Shaun

    doug,

    Michael Behe, one of the leading dim bulbs of the ID movement, has argued that malaria was intelligently designed.

    Regardless that Behe has twisted the evidence to reach that conclusion, it does open up some interesting theological questions. Yes, I know that the ID movement states that they have no claim regarding the identity of the designer but we all know that is a load of self-serving bunkum.

  62. Leinad

    Theodicy worms of evil!

    This has easily been the most batshit crazy Creationist video I’ve yet been exposed to, easily topping the Banana Proof of Divine Providence. Just wtf, Creationists?

  63. anthony

    It’s a coincidence – right?

    Well I am tempted to think that they go for “intelligent designer” like I, a keen cook, find the FSM theory attractive. But I think it’s just another validation of just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you can’t believe batshit crazy things.

  64. Paul Burns

    Doug,
    Apart from being a foodie God has a very, very, sick sernse of humour. Or haven’t you noticed?

  65. Martin B

    Is it late enough in the thread for me to mention my philosophically devastating critique of ID? :-)

    ID is epistemologically posterior to evolution; irreducible complexity only makes sense if one has a prior concept of evolved complexity.

    So IDers would have a subtle mechanism to deny evolution that only makes sense when reason perceives evolution. It is an inherantly non-rational notion.

    We could talk to the end of the intertubes about the dodgy science of ID but the dodgy theology is outrageous.

  66. Helen


    I had peanut butter on toast for breakfast this morning.This has put me in a bit of a theological quandary.
    I am not sure if it means:
    1. I have just taken communion.
    2.I have become God-like.
    3.I am God.
    4.I’m just confused.

    OMG you have just eaten us all…

    THIS IS THE RAPTURE.

  67. tigtog

    Helen Helen Helen:

    One line – just one line – of allcaps and you have summoned a rapture kook from the vasty deep!!!

    It takes ages to get the stain of zombie threads off the blog, too.

    Tch.

  68. mick

    Hehe.

  69. Helen

    Sorry, TT.

    I wish Jesus could teach them to spell.

  70. doug

    This is from the guys who made this video. Not a very convincing scientific answer. Either this is science or religion, they choose to put it up as a scientific theory then that theory has to stand scrutiny.

    Dear Doug,

    The Creator created everything very good in the beginning. Man lived and fellowshiped with God in perfect conditions (Genesis chapters 1 and 2). But love demands a choice, so God gave man every good gift, but forbid him from eating from just one tree – the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (which, by the way, is where we received our conscience – the knowledge of right and wrong).

    Though this tree looked very attractive (like sin so often does), it was deadly, because it meant rebellion against the giver of life. Man chose to rebel and the curse on all creation resulted (Genesis 3; Romans 8, etc.). This curse has resulted in sufferings, trials, and pain. Soon this curse will be removed and there will be a new heaven and earth wherein dwell righteousness, peace, and joy forevermore (Revelation 21).

    Today, God is still offering the free choice: we can either receive or reject His love and fellowship. Individually we can choose the tree of life (Jesus and His death on the tree to save us), or we can choose our own way – but it will lead to death. Turning our back on the Provider and Sustainer of all life is sin and idolatry, but choosing our all-wise, all-powerful, and all loving God means eternal life.

    And even in this life of trials, God promises to work all things together for the good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Personally, I’ve had many years of health problems and other trials, but God has used it to cause me to lean on Him, and He has worked it all for good.

    I pray you will seek the Lord with all your heart, and discover that He is truly good and His way is perfect. Sincerely,

    Jim Tetlow

  71. Pavlov's Cat

    But Helen, God loves you whether you can spell or not!

    (Actually that’s one of the more attractive and sensible arguments in favour of cr*p spelling.)

    And I was relieved to observe her spelling of ‘savior’, which suggests that at least this nonsense hasn’t made it across the Pacific yet.

    What struck me about the rapture kook was not so much her spelling as the irrefutable proof provided by her comment that typography is not, in fact, impersonal and personality-disguising. Think what a field day the profilers would have. We know about allcaps, of course, but does anyone know whether there is also a direct correlation between not putting a space after your commas and being a bit barking?

  72. Gummo Trotsky

    Since when is fellowship a verb?

  73. tigtog

    That one’s been around for a while.

  74. doug

    I am also a slow foodie who believes that meals evolve.

    I am a believer in the FSM and have been touched by his appendage.

  75. Gummo Trotsky

    If I were younger I’d probably go out and fellowship down at the mall this afternoon.

  76. anthony

    That’s watership down you’re thinking of there Gummo.

    I think it raises some interesting issues if butt is a verb.

  77. Paul Burns

    PC,
    Hate to tell you but it is here, in Armidale, anyway – a whole DVD series of people being raptured away- and the awful fate of those left behind. Very much a direct steal/plagiarism from an end of the world TV series that was broadcast here years ago. Seems these rapture people are so Xtanly honest they even have to steal the plots of their TV series.
    Or is that just Hollywood?