Somehow I’m not feeling the Costello excitement:
After Gillard taunted him in the parliament last week about his publisher’s motto, “books with spine”, he responded: “If she bought a copy, I might sign it for her. She could take it back to that flat where she lives with the spartan furniture, put it up on the bookshelf with her current library, the collected works of Marx and Engels. She could file it alphabetically, by author, ‘Cos’. It will come after ‘Com’, for The Communist Manifesto, and before ‘D’, for Das Kapital. Or she could it put by her bedside where she’s reading a book on how to create unemployment in an economy which is undergoing a mining boom.” Imagine those lines delivered in parliament.
Meanwhile, Brendan’s still truckin’…
Federal Opposition Leader Brendan Nelson says all decision-makers should spend 12 hours in a truck to understand the issues long-distance drivers face.
<img src="http://larvatusprodeo.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/nelsontruck.jpg"
Burrrn!
Rudd could hold one of his community cabinets in the back of truck
Is this the part where we point out if the books were filed alphabetically _by_ _author_ the communist manifesto and das kapital both be under “M” for Marx (and why would the former title be translated to english and not the latter?).
as for “imagine those lines delivered in parliament”, i can, and the response is decidedly underwhelming.
Lamest. PWN. Eva.
Why would she file his book by author and her other books by title? Pfft — this is the Great Mind the world is on hold for?
More lambmentable offal, from Glenn, the man who would have been Tips’ press secretary.
Great minds, Rex.
Yes, and the poor, lonely woman only has ‘spartan furniture’. Sigh.
If Brendan spends that many hours in a truck, isn’t it going to eat into his 3am sojourns in the gutters of Kings Cross? He should get his people to talk to the gutters’ people.
Glenn Milne on the STOCKHOLM SYNDROME:
captors, saviours, victims, peculiar behaviour
But then there’s the CANBERRA SYNDROME:
journos *captivated* by their own fanciful scenarios, seeking *saviours*, castigating *bloggers*, failing to *check facts*, spinning *poll results*…. the only difference is that NONE of this is peculiar behaviour; nope, it’s *stock in trade*
Leading to the dreaded YAWN SYNDROME where readers break free of their captivity and mutter ‘what complete bollocks’
OK, I seriously don’t understand this.
If those lines were delivered in parliament, I would think “can we please hear something better than this sort of tedious, juvenile nonsense”.
Lines like those are already delivered in parliament – ad nauseum – by a whole lot of people. It’s what fills in the space in the absence of serious policy debate, especially in Question Time.
It may be that Costello’s comic timing is better and delivery more articulate than the rest, but if that is really the main qualification for leadership of a major political party, then its no wonder our democracy is so moribund.
Yes, horribly juvenile. To be fair, I wasn’t too impressed with JG’s Book with Spine witticism, which I heard as delivered in parliament via radio. She’s got that horrible repeat-for-the-journos tic that was so irritating in Howard: “A book with spine, book with Spine, Mr Speaker” etc. Great. Now it’s gone viral. And the joke if you can call it that was pretty ponderous to begin with.
The crack about the flat with spartan furniture was just veiled dog-whistle sexism pure and simple. PC knows full well she lives in a freestanding house in the Western subs of Melbourne. When she’s there, of course.
Imagine those lines delivered in parliament.
It says something about the mentality of press gallery in general, and Milne in particular, that that sort of thing can be regarded as either clever or significant.
If truck drivers are having that many problems, then it might be best if the high-traffic long-distance routes are replaced with rail. Everyone wins, then.
It makes me dreadfully, dreadfully sad to point this out, but that tic was something that Howard picked up from Keating, who used to do it all the bloody time. What was particularly irritating about Keating doing it was that it was so unnecessary, given the force of most of his lines the first time round. Labor could do a lot worse than organise a weekend workshop on standup delivery.
communists jokes make cossie seem, well really really old. and it’s about as original as calling a right winger a fascist, is this the best Tip can come up with after a 8 month break?
Also, does anyone know what Milne is referring to with that gnomic closing remark? How would a lamb be positive sign, apart from not being a chicken? I saw the word ‘lamb’ and thought ‘Sacrifical lambs? Lambs to the slaughter? Poor little lambs who have lost our way? Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb? The silence of the lambs?’
Let’s hope Milne’s right and it is a sign.
I thought it was most puzzling too!
Unless Milne’s completely lost it and Cossie is the “lamb of God”? And he’s headed for a resurrection?
Milne is such a strange, strange, strange person!
Cossie is just getting publicity for his book. It’s such a tiresomely transparent ploy and I just wish he’d go away.
Crikey today:
Jesus wept.
Milne is not saying anything, other than he got a free feed and got pissed for sucking up.
Nothing enigmatic in at all.
“Labor could do a lot worse than organise a weekend workshop on standup delivery.”
Word.
“A funny thing happened to me on the way in to question time this morning”
“How about those Pies?”
“Take the leader of the opposition… PLEASE!”
The Lamb Of Higgins!
So, the tribute dinner was really a lamb roast?
Imagine there are no journos
It’s easy if you think
No Milne below us
Churning out his daily stink
Imagine all the people
Living for today…
Imagine there are no daily rags
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to chop down trees for
And no bullshit too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace…
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no TV News
I wonder if you will
No need for lots of wankers
Every one a dill
Imagine all the people
Free of all that crap…
BEAVIS: Imagine if he’d said it with like, his spazz-face on.
BUTT-HEAD: Yeah, uh-huh, that would be cool.
BEAVIS: Or, like, imagine if he’d said it while doing air-guitar and windmill.
BUTT-HEAD: Yeah, hur hur hur. That would be cool.
BEAVIS: Yeah. That would be cool.
BUTT-HEAD: Shut up, fag!
BEAVIS: Imagine if he’d said that while mooning the Speaker.
BUTT-HEAD: Yeah, hu-huh, hur hur hur, uh-huh…
—-
News at 11.
Apologies to anyone who liked the original. Never could stand it myself.
Lamb of Higgins, deliver us in our hour of need.
Colt from Kooyong, who perhaps never wanted to be PM?
Bull of Werriwa, stay away.
Cockatoo of XXXXX, squawking and nipping.
Goldfish of YYYYY, doing laps of the bowl again.
Great Boar of ZZZZZ, snout in the trough as usual.
Very good adrian and realise you dislike the song, but doesn’t “Murdoch” rhyme with anything?
Well yes, now you come to mention it.
I thought endless repetition was a generic political tic, driven out of the desire to make one’s message heard and remembered. Most pollies seem to lapse into it from time to time. (I remember Beazley did it, for example.)
Presumably it also allows them a few extra words space to think over what they’re going to say next.
I’m loving all this by Costello. He’s just getting the Liberal Party back for never believing in him enough over the previous decade. He’s Labor’s best friend at the moment and drones like Milne refuse to believe it.
Keep up the good work, Pete!
Beazley got it from Keating too. I don’t remember anyone before Keating doing it, or at least not doing it constantly. Hawke was a one for referring to himself in the third person, another nasty speech habit that has caught on big-time among politicians, but I don’t think he would have had the patience to repeat himself even if he’d thought it was a good idea.
That’s interesting.
In the Asterix and Obelix universe, Caesar refers to himself in the third person from time to time. Though maybe that says more about French politics and humour rather than the faux Latin-world it was referring to!
TimT – nothing faux about it. Caesar referred to himself in the third person throughout Commentarii de Bello Gallico. But Asterix and Obelix nailed it:
Asterix: Why do you talk about yourself in the third person all the time?
Caesar: Who?
Asterix: You!
Caesar: Oh, him.
Peter Costello is not and never has been funny. However, he clearly believes that he is a postive modern day Oscar Wilde and, for some strange reason, many in the press seem intent on proclaiming him as both terribly witty and a great parliamentary performer. He is neither. Frankly, I have always thought his performaces in parliament were for the most part embarassing. If he is the best talent that the Libs have then they are in serious trouble. Which suits me fine.
And as the above example illustrates, he has a fixation on communism; he is also a connoisseur of leftwing unions, Trot factions, etc. It seems to stem from his student days, and his smooching up to Maoists, etc.
Hard to believe the yoof would be interested in this spiel.
Is he talking over the heads of the public, to the pundits and poltical insiders? That’s not the way to win votes, $weetie.
Sorry, but as a librarian I think Costello is confused. He suggests that Julia files the book by Author, but I checked the National Library of Australia catalogue and the authors of ‘The Communist Manifesto’ are Marx, Karl, and Engels, Friedrich, so ‘Cos’ would not be near it. Either you file by author or by title, Costello is mixing it up. Same with Das Kapital that was written by Marx on his own.
If you want to be a smartass Peter, at least get it right.
Bismark @34 “TimT – nothing faux about it. Caesar referred to himself in the third person throughout Commentarii de Bello Gallico. But Asterix and Obelix nailed it:”
His style was typically Caesar the General in the third person, but Caesar the Writer, in first.
e.g.
“While Caesar was in winter quarters in Cisalpine Gaul, as we have shown above …”
and
“At the same time our horsemen, and light-armed infantry, who had been with those, who, as I have related, were routed by the first assault of the enemy …”
sorry to divert from Asterix …
“He’s getting plenty of help – from The Australian, and from his colleagues, especially blabber-mouth Tony Abbott, who won’t shut up about the leadership.”
Oh Mark@19. With Tony it’s not about the leadership. It’s about the golden glow of The Legacy.
How this narrative plays out after The Budgiesmuggler takes a comprehensive dump all over JWH in the book remains to be seen.
Oh, and Milne seems to have left the reservation. Left to his own resources without a drip-feed from PC, well, I don’t know.
I think we could well be heading straight into speculations about UFOs/pyramids/leadership here.
Poor bloke. Breaking up is hard to do. Somebody should have told him: “Oh. You didn’t know? You’ve been dropped.”
“It seems to stem from his student days …”
Costello’s whole career has been an interminable replay of his days in student politics. He resembles nothing so much as an undergraduate acting like he thinks politicians do. He was one of the driving forces behind voluntary student unionism and crowed about it as if it was one of the Howard Government’s crowning glories, when in truth it was a trivial matter. He’s on the record as saying the great goal of a Costello Government would be to break the power of the dreadful unions in higher education.
The man is a quintessential political lightweight who never made the slightest impact outside industrial relations and slightly market-oriented economic management. What would he do for ideas if he was leader – engage Howard as chief of staff?
How is it that the Liberal member for an Eastern Melbourne seat can get away with implying a Labor member from the Western suburbs is elitist?
Mark at #19 re the Crikey quote. Spot on.
Leaders, we have none.
Brendan, I’d rather be a truckie. Mr kiddie, kidding Tip. Gillard of the poison tongue, topped off with Rudd the dud.