I’ve made the case before that the unintended upshot of the Katherine Wilson hoax on Quadrant was to expose that tawdry publication as a complete joke. So perhaps its continued Australia Council funding can be justified as a source of pure comedy gold. [Via Grodscorp] – apparently this is the outcome of “reflection” on Australia Day:
here is a partial list of the things the Left hate about Australia:
Australia Day, Anzac Day, people who live in the suburbs, people who live in the country, farmers, fishermen, dams, Quadrant, Australian history, the flag, the constitution, Andrew Bolt’s readers, The Australian, Liberal voters, National Party voters, Family First voters, One Nation supporters, the RSL, McDonald’s, McMansions, plasma TVs, Australian Idol, big business, small business, monolingualists, Christians, our last prime minister, liberal democracy, capitalism, lamingtons, Australians, the national coat of arms, the Samuel Griffith Society, soldiers, conservatives, musicals not about Australian Left politicians, commercial television, non-indigenous trees, dog owners, cats, non-Left talk back radio hosts, timber workers, plastic bags, Howard’s battlers, climate change sceptics, white people, commercial radio, America (pre-Obama), sovereignty (ours), realistic paintings (especially by Albert Namatjira), the Big Banana and other Big Things, cultural dissidents, men, sprinklers, green lawns, cars (other peoples), wood fires, rednecks, Sir John Kerr.
Hmmm, let’s see. I like the Big Banana and other Big Things. Lamingtons. Cats. Am a Catholic. Fan of Australian history. Have had a few beers in an RSL Club, and seen some bands at… have lived in the suburbs for more than half my life, have rellos who live in the country, etc., etc. Oh, I don’t know what the Samuel Griffith Society is, so perhaps I hate that. But generally I don’t try to define my politics in terms of hatred. It seems to me that the only people who do talk in those terms are, well, you know who…
“Australia’s leading journal of ideas”? I’m surprised even Windy isn’t embarrassed by this sort of nonsense.
Who is this fool
As a preacher said back in the day, shilling for Reagan, if it wasn’t for the hippies, the dropouts, the perverts, the deviants, the gays, the blacks, the jews, the jacobins, the papists, the secularists, the moderate conservatives, the freaks, pop singers and Christadelphians, this country would be on the right track.
Cats.
It lists cats among things that the Left hate.
Not on this site they don’t.
Yep, Connor obviously doesn’t get out much, GregM.
Well, they’ve got me bang to rights on lamingtons. I hate lamingtons. Hate hate hate. Die, lamingtons, die. The worst ones are the pink icing. Pink!? Pink!?! Pink is our colour. See how brazen they are in their attempts to co-opt us? Everytime I go past a baker’s window, I swear I can hear the pink ones laughing at me.
In my household, we call lamingtons ‘Oppressor Bread’. I’ve started a national letters campaign to every newspaper Editor in the country to get them re-named. Although there have been delays in the publication of my letters — none so far — the response from the editors has been very positive. When I have called the editors or visited their homes or children at school to follow up, they’ve promised me that the letters will get a run as soon as there is space. It won’t be long now. But, I don’t know, it could be interference from the CWA.
And the CWA? Don’t get me started. They are the biggest lamington racketeers in the country. Have you seen their bake sales? Oh, I know they look innocent, with their nice white tablecloths (tacit support for the KKK, hmm?) and their lace doilies, but have you seen the way they arrange their lamington stands? Coded messages. They are signalling their nefarious intentions to each other in a lamington-based sempahore. I haven’t cracked the code yet, but I will. Yes, I’m on to you, ‘Beryl’, and arch-dragon ‘Mavis’. I’ll find out your real names some day. You’ll see.
The reach of Big Lamington (notice how there never has been a Big Lamington? There’s a Big everything else, why not lamingtons? It would blow their cover, that’s why. Too obvious.) goes far and deep into the boardrooms and newsrooms of the entire country, but I’m going to bring down the whole show, starting with the CWA. I’ve subscribed to all their branch newsletters, even Goolwa, and pasted every page on the walls of my bedroom. It’s working, too. I’ve started to see the pattern in their apparently random screeds about local hospital fundraising and exotic-weed clearing programs. I’ve begun circling the most significant phrases and words they use in their secret communications. It won’t be long before I can blow their cover.
Actually, I have written a book about it — Lamington Drive: The Secret History of the CWA’s Campaign for Domination. Volume 1 will be published later this year, with Volumes 2 & 3 to be published in 2010 and 2011 respectively. The publication dates may slip a little, so if you can’t wait to get yours in the bookstore, email me and I’d be happy to send you an advance copy. This is too important to wait.
So far, all the major publishers, and the minor publishers, have rejected the manuscript. More CWA interference. There were coconut shavings and icing stains on the rejection letters. But this may be a blessing in disguise. I think I’ll start my own publishing house to get them into print. That way at least nobody will be able to interfere with the integrity of my scholarship.
I hate quite a few of the things on that list, and I vote Liberal, lol.
I’m a liberal in the Andrew Norton sense, though, not the Tony Abbott/Nick Minchin sense. Maybe that’s why. I’m not a true Liberal, and I belong in the Greens.
…And who the fuck is Samuel Griffith?
And why would Lefties hate cultural dissidents? Doesn’t opposing ‘mainstream culture’ as conservatives perceive it make them cultural dissidents? Is that some kind of self-hate thing?
Nice to know the CFMEU aren’t lefties anymore.
When I look at the language many of you use here about Bush, Howard and heaven forbid Cheney or satan incarnate Rumsfeld hate isn’t too far off the mark. Obviously the article is a bit of a tongue-in-cheek, generalisation, dig but there is more than a grain of truth to it.
On the flip side I read Tony Abbotts article in the Weekend Oz and he mentioned how a lot of people on the conservative side spoke of Keating when he was in power. Some of it was vicious although clearly the man wasn’t above dishing it out himself.
I’m loving it. For so long we were the shrill ones – whinging about the appalling actions and attitudes of the ruling RWDBs. And they of course were the condescending ones. Now each carping, harping tirade from those bad sad losers makes me feel a little more glee that the Bush-Howard years are mercifully gone and that it’s our turn for a little smugness.
No, no there isn’t.
It’s one half unhinged rant, one half unhinged whine.
(Also, way to bring in Keating as a desperate non sequitur. It ain’t ’96 no more, mate, you can’t justify everthing in relation to an ex-PM’s failings–of course if you’d actually read Oddrant’s list you’d know you shouldn’t blame anything on pwevious pwime ministers.)
On a more serious note, I think this is the perfectly natural result of the defeat of Australia’s most avowedly conservative government, right after it had at last built something resembling an Australian idealogical conservatism–or at least a conservatism that is more than just the old middle classes non-labour ‘buffer’ against old Labor sectionalism.
They had finally got to the top of the mountain, and it’s all for shit.
Some fucker’s gotta pay!
(Also, the defeat of Homeland Conservatism on the other side of the Pacific must also be a real gutting for our Oddranters.)
…and I’m sure the Samuel Griffith Society is in on the lamington caper too. Hah! Suck it, Samuel Griffith Society. You Samuel Griffith Society people don’t frighten me. Just because nobody here has ever heard of you, don’t go thinking you’ve escaped our notice. What did Samuel Griffith do to get a whole society named after him anyway? Probably oppressed somebody, I’ll bet. Yeah.
Samuel Griffith? More like Smelly Old Biscuits. As soon as I find out who the heck you are, and what the heck you do in your secret Samuel Griffith-worshipping meetings, I’ll have plenty of hate left over for you too. You’ll be next on my list, right after I finish with the CWA.
Anyway, I want to know if the Big Slurpie is real. I saw an ad for it at my favourite inner city small business franchise of 711 – run by Indian folks. I believe it’s in Coffs Harbour. All Big Things are either in Coffs Harbour or Nambour aren’t they? Or similar places. Places like where Wayne Swan came from. Before he moved to the same suburb I grew up in.
Am I just confused? Please, Michael Connor, help!
I hope you hate that suburb, Mark. Otherwise we’ll have to revoke your Leftist credentials.
Oh well another idiot making more stupid claims about things they truly know little about. Not one thing in that partial list is on my ‘hate’ list. Actually I don’t think I have a hate list and most ‘lefties’ I know also don’t have a hate list.
Maybe the ‘right’ needs to stop looking at the world in absolutes like ‘love/hate’.
As someone who’s left wing about some things and right wing about others, let me propose a hate list that will unify all Australians on our national day.
Parking inspectors over-impressed with their powers, obnoxiously pert young people on street corners hired to raise funds for otherwise worthwhile causes, Connex, superannuated TV sports commentators who haven’t been properly superannuated, Lifestyle Supplement Editors, “8am on Sunday! The perfect time to fire up the leafblower!”, Connex, people who suddenly discover that after queueing for ages and then having their stuff bagged at the supermarket checkout, that they now have to pay for it, Jetstar’s reservation system, Connex, BigPond’s helpline, TV channels turning up the volume during ad breaks, Connex, people who assume any lift is automatically empty and just charge in while you’re trying to get out, popular ringtones, Connex, Powerpoint, Connex and that dickhead at work who’s relentlessly banal banter is like water drip drip dripping on your skull. And Connex.
Mercurius, this guy didn’t mention the CWA beause (a.) it’s kind of a non-profit, poverty fighting NGO type of group–and they don’t have pokie-club licences (notice how he also doesn’t mention the Salvos or the Smith Family?)
and
(b.) with the exception of Sophie Mirabella joining the CWA because it’s part of her job description, nobody on the Oddrant board and its environs is very likely to be a member. (A loved one of mine used to walk several kilometres into town to attend meetings. She didn’t live on the North Shore of Sydney.)
They’re in tatters, Mercurius, after being measured against Michael Connor’s stunning typology and being found wanting!
What’s Connex?
Nice list, Nabakov. You forgot:
People who take 30 seconds
To pay by credit card for $12.77
Worth of groceries when it could be done
In 5 seconds with cash.
When you’re in the queue behind them,
And busting for a slash.
…and also, poetry.
And that Michael O’Connor thing really is an example of someone stooping below the level of those he thinks he’s above.
Or like a five year old gleeful at the discovery that saying ‘pooh’ gets a reaction from the grownups.
Which it did. So I suppose his year is made.
You’re wrong about the CWA, Nickws. That apparently humble, homespun dedication and willingess to pitch in and help on any local issue is all part of the cover!
They began their Long March through the Bowling Clubs decades ago and, as a result, they now have an iron grip on the sale and distribution of discounted soft drinks and alcoholic beverages throughout the nation. They are all gathered in the Associates’ Lounge now, laughing at us behind their cut-price shandies!
So 2004. In 2009, LCD tvs are da bomb.
Why does Michael Connor hate So You Think You Can Dance?
We’ll go back to ignoring him, Nabs. So it’s his One Day Of The Year…
“What’s Connex?”
Sorry Mark, I forgot you weren’t a real Australian living in Melbourne.
Connex is the company in charge of most of Melbourne’s public transport system. And a vivid example of how the cult of contemporary corporate manangeralism has replaced old fashioned ideas like providing services to meet demands.
In Brisbane, then, Nabs you could substitute “Campbell Newman” for “Connex”.
Hey Merci babe, following on from #19
Adrian Mitchell, who just died the other day, wrote this:
A nun in a supermarket
Standing in a queue
Wondering what it’s like
To buy groceries for two
Perhaps not Adrian Mitchell’s best poem, but I’ve always liked it.
Lullaby for William Blake
Blakehead, babyhead,
Your head is full of light.
You sucked the sun like a gobstopper.
Blakehead, babyhead,
High as a satellite on sunflower seeds,
First man-powered man to fly the Atlantic,
Inventor of the poem which kills itself,
The poem which gives birth to itself,
The human form, jazz, Jerusalem
And other luminous, luminous galaxies.
You out-spat your enemies.
You irradiated your friends.
Always naked, you shaven, shaking tyger-lamb,
Moon-man, moon-clown, moon-singer, moon-drinker,
You never killed anyone.
Blakehead, babyhead,
Accept this mug of crude red wine -
I love you.
He also wrote two of the strangest novels in the English language:
The Bodyguard – which is sorta like A Clockwork Orange from the perspective of the authorities dealing with Alex and his droogs; and
Wartime – English class warfare distilled into a deadly no quarter given or offered pyschosexual duel. It’s like Fowles’ ‘The Collector’ on acid.
An Australia Day hate list – how original
I would have been a little more interested in a Michael Connor article explaining why he ‘hates’ elderly women with Alzheimers?
See: Tracey’s mum goes blogging
Talk about bad taste at Quadrant!
“Michael Connor article explaining why he ‘hates’ elderly women with Alzheimers?”
Fuck, that was an awful piece of writing in every possible sense. He’s no Tim Blair and never well be. It’s the difference between a professional sniper and someone so excited to finally actually really fire a gun, he forgot to actually point it anywhere.
Yowza. This Connor not only does a hideous impersonation of a ‘gonzo’ writer, he also doesn’t appear to know the difference between blogging and commenting on blogs.
I think ‘Tracey’s mum goes blogging[sic]‘ proves he’s barely up to the standards of a Blair winged monkey.
And a winged monkey who doesn’t like Newscorp’s pretence at moderation, at that.
Hmmm… let’s go through this.
I’m kind of indifferent to Australia Day and, along with ANZAC Day, I think most Australians really like them because they’re public holidays rather than anything else.
People who live in the suburbs, well, I am one (I’m just not terribly fond of the suburb I live in).
People who live in the country? Farmers? Fishermen? Good on all of them.
I went to Warragamba Dam on a primary school excursion once and liked it.
A mate of mine buys Quadrant. I’ve flicked through bits of it at his place, found the poetry loathsome, can’t remember the articles.
Australian history’s interesting enough, particularly the bits that are actually true.
Nothing much wrong with the flag. At least it’s more distinctive than those three-stripe jobs most other countries seem to have.
The constitution could be worse.
Andrew Bolt’s readers, OK, I do kind of hate them cos they only encourage him.
The Australian, well, it’s not as bad as the Daily Telegraph.
Liberal voters, National Party voters, Family First voters, One Nation supporters, see Andrew Bolt’s readers.
The RSL? I was a member of my local RSL club when I was 18.
McDonald’s I like every now and then.
McMansions, I wouldn’t say no to one if I were offered one. Better than this thing I live in now.
Plasma TVs, I have a CRT widescreen that weighs thirty-eight tons but that’s cos I don’t quite trust the quality of flatscreens.
Australian Idol, yes, I hate this, but that’s because I actually have taste in music.
Big business, eh.
Small business, good luck to them.
Monolingualists, good luck to them too if they can speak their one language properly. (Although don’t conservatives often distrust monolinguists when their one language isn’t English?)
Christians are probably OK by and large
Our last prime minister, yeah, I’ll cop to hating him
Liberal democracy is probably the best of a pretty ho-hum bunch.
Capitalism’s OK when applied properly.
Lamingtons I’ve never actually tried.
Australians are fine most of the time.
Fairly indifferent to the national coat of arms
Don’t know who the Samuel Griffith Society are.
Soldiers are fucking great. They have courage that I don’t, and neither do the vast majority of people.
Conservatives I have no problem with as long as they’re principled about it. They actually have some OK ideas. It’s the ones who use conservatism as an excuse for unprincipled, unthinking hatred of People Not Like Them that I don’t particularly care for.
Musicals not about Australian Left politicians, fair enough apart from “Singin’ in the Rain”. Never been big on musicals.
Commercial television, well, have you seen some of the shit they put to air?
Non-indigenous trees, I don’t know. I’m not a horticulturalist.
Dog owners, well, I used to be one.
Cats I’m not hugely fond of but I don’t have any great issues with them.
I’m not a fan of talk back radio left or right
Timber workers, eh. It’s a job.
Plastic bags have their uses.
Howard’s battlers, well, my folks have been battlers. Australia Post is far from the world’s best-paying job.
Climate change sceptics,
White people have problems. So do black people, so do Chinese people, so do Arab people, so do Indians, so do we all. The whole species has problems. I still think the individual members of the species, of whatever ethnicity, generally try to do the best they can.
Commercial radio, see commercial TV.
Which period of pre-Obama America do leftists hate? It’d been around for quite a while before him, you know.
I’d like nothing more than to see our sovereignty upheld, and I only wish our government had the nerve to stand up to certain other countries and stop being their lapdog at their beck and call.
Realistic paintings are fine. Don’t know Namatjira’s work that well.
I like the Big Things well enough.
I thought the left was all about supporting cultural dissidents?
Men have problems like white people do. Women have problems too. It’s a general human race thing. Individual members of it do what they can.
Sprinklers and green lawns? Terrific. I wish we could use ours and then we might actually have a green lawn.
Cars I’m kind of indifferent to. I don’t drive.
Wood fires, eh. We don’t have room for one here. The electric ones we use probably do more harm to the environment.
Rednecks, well, they have problems too… they just don’t seem to work as hard as some people to overcome them.
Sir John Kerr got rid of a thoroughly overrated prime minister who’d let himself get into a bind he should never have got into.
Looking at what I’ve just written, I’ve suddenly realised that I have no idea how I can possibly continue describing myself as any flavour of leftist. If I had a head, I’d hang it in shame.
James Russell, you feel a sense of shame? Then there’s lefty hope for you yet!
@28
I assume that bit gives it away – the intention is satire? The point and the execution seem completely missing and the whole thing is incomprehensible gibberish.
Who is this Michael Connor?
ZOMG!11!! There is more “Tracey”.
https://www.quadrant.org.au/blogs/connor/2008/12/tracey-does-xmas
Intrepid venturers forth to the Quadrant site can find more links, should they be so inclined.
Michael Connor appears to be quite mad.
…Well Kim, I guess then Mr Connor is perfectly suited to publication in the Windschuttle-era incarnation of Odd Rant.
He’s James McConvill without the stern academic rigour or easy common touch. In short he’s just not schmick.
And clicking through to Quad Online, one encounters this teaser article para.
“A systematic study of the contemporary Australian intelligentsia is a task of some urgency. It emerged some forty years ago within the adversary culture of the 1960s, a period of cultural revolution that affected most Western societies.”
I do not know where to begin laughing. But choosing where to start doesn’t strike me as a task of some urgency. More a luxury.
Oooh, yes please. The study must begin without delay!
Intelligentsia, meet navel.
Navel, meet intelligentsia.
Imagine what fascinating, iconoclastic, ground-breaking insights will result!
The Odd Rant people seem to have taken up residence in an Ivory Dungeon.
If I had to guess, I’d say Connor is actually James McAuley’s version of
Tony Clifton.
See, McAuley was considered a talented writer, he was also a hoaxer, so it makes sense he’d create an uncouth, boorish caricature of a little mag columnist who could be performed for many years after his own death.
Sure McAuley died in 1976; but Andy Kaufman died in 1984, and his appalling Clifton character is still performed to this day,
What exactly is there to love about the Constitution? It’s neither the world’s most inspiring document, nor does it guarantee much of what it means to be Australian. Not unless you want to march to celebrate our right to compulsory acquisition of property on just terms.
And as for the flag, what flag were we fighting for in World War I? http://www.firstworldwar.com/posters/australia2.htm
Nonsense. I love my seven-metre wide two-metre-high mural of workers, peasants and citizens organising Revolutionary cultural activities inspired by the Thoughts of the Great Helmsman.
It might be a bit big for my two-bedroom flat, but zeal in defence of virtue is no crime, as I said to my landlord while denouncing her for gangsterism in the street.
Boer War & World War 1 – Union Jack; WW II – the Red Ensign (Army/ Diggers and quasi National Flag until Menzies changed it to a more Liberal colour) RAF & Navy, their own ensigns; Malaya- UJ again; Korea – UN flag (also the case for all UN sanctioned wars/ actione/ policing duties); Vietnam – the current flag; Iraq – the current flag.
In other words, the only wars in which Aussie soldiers fought under the current flag have been two illegal ones! And it took a very long time for WW II Diggers to forgive Menzies for his insult – for most I know/knew, a lifetime.
BTW: I thought hating was the province of the Buchanan/Rove Republican Right. So I guess we can expect more Quadrant Rants in Revenge for The Hoax. Like The Hoax, they’re hilarious.
The SG society members meet in sleazy hotels where they fondle each other with the following:
http://www.samuelgriffith.org.au/papers/publications.html
Oh god what a total waste of time.
Huggy
Well fuck my yellow wellies, HuggyBunny, that SG site is for real?
The first thing I clicked on there
http://www.samuelgriffith.org.au/papers/html/volume19/v19intro.html
made me wonder if Evelyn Waugh was still alive and taking the piss out of his neighbours in Hawthorn.
“We were fortunate to hear it, and the readers of Volume 19 of our Proceedings will be (almost) equally fortunate.”
Up to a point Lord Flint.
Spotto Connor’s category error.
These aren’t the things this leftie (moi) hates about Australia. These are the things this leftie hates in Australia.
Connor’s list of dreary shibboleths are not inherently Australian, any more than cane toads, rabbits, or prickly pears. The country would be better off if many of them were eradicated.
The Samuel Griffith Society do seem to put on airs. But they’re basically a decentralist and legal-conservative group.
Not much reason for lefties to hate them. I’m sure some anarchists would be sympathetic: there’s no other anti-centralist advocacy group in Australia that I know of.
What’s with the crack about Namatjira? Love me some Namatjira, I do. And LCD TVs are the go (as Kim pointed out, and as any legit TV-loving suburbanite will also tell you).
The real story about Sir John Kerr – and this is obvious if you read relevant bios – is that just about everybody involved were mates from way back. The Australian political universe was a very small place, and in some ways still is.
I admit to hating Ratty, but he’s exceptional. I didn’t hate GWB but I sure had a lot of contempt for him.
As for the rest of the list, capitalism = GFC. I’d be stupid if I didn’t think, at the very least, that it don’t work. But i don’t hate it, I just think itste of space. One Nation, passe.
In fact there are a couple of things on that list I love – Australian history, living in the country – gone off lamingtons a bit, but I still like em. And he left out Neenish tarts – you know, the way the chocolate melts around the foil and its a bugger to get it out with breaking the tart or getting crumbs everywhere.
I had a good giggle at some of the comments in this thread. I was just saying last night to hubby that I must be a self-hating Australian, given I cannot see what the fuss about Australia Day is. He being Irish asked me if I would mind it being moved to a day other than the one that irrevocably changed the course of Indigenous history, and I said of course not, so long as we get a public holiday – what do I care.
I never hated Howard, and I still don’t. I was sometimes infuriated by things he said and did.
As for Bush, I think he’s hilarious, and much smarter than he’s given credit for. He’s miles ahead of Howard in terms of emotional intelligence, sociability and wit. I do have the sneaking suspicion that talk about Bush being a bit drug-f*cked might be true, though.
All of that is merely preamble – you aren’t a lefty in this country unless you wake up one day and decide you’re going all the way to the far right, burn all your bridges, deny that you ever made a drunken pass at Meredith Burgmann in 1971, kick a few Aborigines while you’re at it, and generally behave like Winston Smith at the end of Nineteen Eighty-Four when he starts weeping with love for Big Brother.
Well at the moment I think I hate practically everything about Ostraya ‘.’ Except the land itself, which I quite like. And if I actually knew any of its first inhabitants, I think I’d quite like them too. But unfortunately for me, they inhabit some other parallel universe which I can only be completely mystified by. Indeed so utterly mystified by that I quite successfully don’t think about it to often for when I do I feel completely overwhelmed and utterly alien loitering about in the landscape (as you do). Take away the land itself and what are we? What do we have culturally to be proud of or at least pleased about?
I actually quite like forestry workers, which is why I’m keen to see them retrained and re-employed in decent jobs with decent wages, safe and healthy working conditions and a long-term future. It should be noted that the forestry workers at the centre of some of the most bitter environmental disputes are employed to produce woodchips, and should not be referred to as “timber workers”. It would often be much better on environmental, social and economic grounds if they actually were involved in producing timber for use in high value added products such as furniture and musical instruments.
I like cats and lamingtons, and am a white monolingualist male. I played junior football for six years in a team created by the local RSL sub-branch in the Melbourne suburb of Reservoir, and I have lit quite a few wood fires to boil my billy during cycling-camping trips.
BTW, since when has “America (pre-Obama)” been something to hate “about Australia”?
“Take away the land itself and what are we? What do we have culturally to be proud of or at least pleased about?”
Well the land itself is a major element, I cheerfully admit to loving several bits of this country. Open jaw amazement in lots of places.
Uluru and Kata Tjuta, the Red Centre in general are awe inspiring, the Barrier Reef blew my mind when we went snorkelling there last year, there are lots of examples like that. Local examples which have special meaning for me cos they are in my home range include the Flinders Ranges with it’s magnificent Wilpena Pond, the spekky coastline of Eyre peninsula which I admit doesn’t match the even more spekky Great Ocean Road. Hey there are dozens of such places and I reckon each of us has a favourite or three. Its hard to separate us from our physical environment.
What do we have culturally?
Lots and maybe we could counter that crap from Quadrant by eulogising some of the cultural things we do love.
Multiculturalism for one, I’m proud of the fact that I am related to people from other places and have absorbed small elements of several cultures that have positively enhanced my life. Food, music, a different perspective on time and place for example. Sure other countries may have such as well but we have a dynamic culture here because it comes from all sorts of places.
I know several Uzbekestani [I hope thats right sp] people. Cool.
On a different tack I have been watching the ‘Choir of Hard Knocks’ on teev. Ok it can be criticised I suppose but its ‘heartwarming’ to see people put themselves out from behind the 8-ball with a little help.
Even ABC Radio National is a cultural icon that may be being shat on from a great height currently but a recent thread here showed how many of us really appreciate that which is left of its value and I suspect we have a rather unique national radio service with ABC RN.
Not to be sneezed at.
I’m rather proud to be in the same country as our indigenous people. Yes that may be a somewhat ambivalent thing but gee considering all the shit they have had to endure they have shown a resilience, endurance and courage that does them proud, and acknowledment of Mick, and Kathy too a few years ago [hey I was barracking for her when she ran], reflects well on us whites. Ok its small flecks in a pile of shit but its not all bad.
Lots more.
Why don’t you lot add some of your own and not play along with this crap from Quadrant? {Thats not a criticism more an observation.]
Most of the itmes that Connor lists are at worst victimeless crimes.
As such, I don’t hate them at all. And I am proud of a country that enables people to pursue a multitude of passions even though I may not subscribe to them.
Connor’s tone is quite disturbing. He is implying that to be a proper Australian it is compulsory to like a suitable number of those things on his list.
Connor’s illiberality in this matter is … well … unAustralian.
Geez. And here I was humming “When You’re Good To Mama” to my cat this morning…
So, the left haters ‘dog owners’, but not dogs. That’s quaint.
cars?
wtf? read my phd! lol
Benz had it right when he said there would only be a few thousand cars in the world because they are a luxury. That is the way it should be.
Fine @ 58: I am relieved that dogs aren’t hated.
I’m a little surprised, and even a trifle put out, that the Left doesn’t hate me, just my readers.
‘The Left’ is after all primarily a construct of people like Connor, so I guess he’s entitled to say what lefties hate. He probably interviewed Windschuttle to find out who he hated back in the Trot days and extrapolated the findings to lefties everywhere. Youse guys are just suffering from a bad case of false consciousness.
“Actually, I have written a book about it — Lamington Drive: The Secret History of the CWA’s Campaign for Domination. Volume 1 will be published later this year, with Volumes 2 & 3 to be published in 2010 and 2011 respectively. The publication dates may slip a little, so if you can’t wait to get yours in the bookstore, email me and I’d be happy to send you an advance copy. This is too important to wait.”
ROLF!
As for Australia Day, while there has been a lot of discussion about it I would say that some of the left have qualms about it, but I wouldn’t refer to the sentiment as outright hate. I reckon there’s a solution to the Australia Day thing though. IMHO what we need to do is rather than have Jan 26 the public holiday we permanently make the last Monday in Jan the public holiday, thus we have an Australia Day holiday long weekend every year, and Jan 26 – unholiday it and rename it “First Fleet Day” or “invasion Day” or “Landing Day”etc, and Jan 26 effectively becomes symbolically separated from the AussieDay Long weekend
Perhaps he’s refering to the musical “Cats” by AL-W? If so I’m probably on board, I can’t stand musicals. Hatred is far too strong an emotion to bring to bear on this form of theatre however.
“What do we have culturally to be proud of or at least pleased about?”
Lamingtons, Caroline. Lamingtons.
Slice one in half lengthways, spread whipped cream on the inside, reassemble. Could an insular, cultural-cringing bunch of sunburnt xenophobes think of that?
Perhaps this is unAustralian (no doubt Connor could help me out), but I have attempted an upmarket lamington, using expensive chocolate thinned with cream and brandy instead of that sweet brown muck, and it wasn’t as good. Perhaps I used an inferior desecrated coconut.
Here’s spomething for the “intensely dislike list” – people who walk brisky to the escalator and then, as soon as their foot touchs the first step, become motionless in take up all the space. Morons!
Hate is a pretty strong term, but I think there’s something to be said for disliking musicals composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Phantom, for instance, has one good riff in it, and some nifty use of dry ice. The rest is dreary as hell.
And Lloyd-Webber nicked that one good riff from Pink Floyd anyway…
…well now, James Russell, lefties can’t hate Pink Floyd, now, can they? Ergo, we must also appreciate and love the Lloyd Webber musicals: including Cats! Connor’s hate list is hereby debunked!
I hate it when op shop volunteers siphon off the good stuff and send it to the fancy oppe shoppe in the trendy suburb, or else put it out with $25 price tags. That’s just bull.
And man I hate me some effing Connex.
Having been viciously and personally attacked by (my real) name in one of Michael Connor’s rants in recent weeks (which I freely admit is no more than I had already done … but to his writing, not him qua him; clearly someone senior to him at Quadrant needs to take him aside and explain the defamation laws, which may be why they took the piece in question off their home page PDQ, though not down altogether), I’m proud to see my view of him supported on this thread.
But I think he may be “writing” to please his superiors, which he is presumably doing, or they wouldn’t let him keep posting at the site.
As for hating cats … Perhaps it was a typo. Perhaps what he actually meant is that we hate bats, fats, hats, mats, oats, pats, rats (heh), tats or vats (hah).
“Phantom, for instance, has one good riff in it …”
And even that was pinched from a Vaughan Williams symphony, if it’s the one I think you mean.
Surely, everyone loves bat as they fly overhead at dusk during summer.
That ascending/descending riff was nicked from “Echoes”, yeah?
And presumably PF nicked that riff from Vaughan Williams, though the symphony in question eludes me (I only liked “The Lark Ascending” anyway, cultural philistine that I am).
I’m just deeply amused by the fact that Quadrant have apparently set themselves up as the defenders of commercial TV, which we, as anti-life Dalek lefties, have set ourselves up to abhor.
But it’s the ‘cultural dissidents’ bit about two-thirds down the list that I really dig. In fact, I may hate a lot of stuff according to Connor, but I think I want to marry this list.
A bit harsh. The opening riff is a killer but the bit under when Paul Di’Anno sings “keep your distance, walk away etc” is pretty cool.
Wait, we are talking about Iron Maiden aren’t we?
“Wait, we are talking about Iron Maiden aren’t we?”
And if not, why not?
The best riff was the one from the song that Judas sings in JCSS. Man that baseline cooks! In fact I don’t know what happened after JCSS, all the other works are crap.
That is the ones that were made before my untimely demise.
As a RWDB who has married into a family of leftists including ex employees of the CFMEU and MAEA and ALP Cabinet ministers, I can attest to the amount of hate the left has. The list is about as accurate as a broad brush swipe can be.
Funnily enough the hate amongst the ALP and Unions far outweighs the hate for the things listed above.
The only good cat in Australia is a dead one. (That’s my environmentalist streak showing).
You forgot the Big Merino, in Goulburn. Home to Ivan Milat.
Do you mean for each other? Because if so, yeah, I’ve seen that. State Conference is a hell of a weekend.
And the Big Prawn in Ballina.
I must go and see that. I’m fond of prawns.
Liam, do you remember a Patrick Cook cartoon from around the time of the Victorian Labor Left’s split over the readmission of the four Grouper unions in 1985? It depicted two male figures in classic 1940s Ye Olde Labor haircuts, with one saying “Those bastards split the party!” and the other replying “Let’s split the party!”?
(That particular split was the one in which some of Bill Hartley’s supporters threw tomatoes at State Conference delegates from the other bits of the left.)
It doesn’t ring any bells, Paul. But then again, I would have been more interested in Duplo at that point than in Labor schism.
Mark, if you go past the Big Prawn, be sure to do it at twilight. It has a glowing red globe in each eye which makes it look like Satan’s crustacean.
Liam, it sounds fabulous. I’m cursing myself that I don’t go to Ballina more often.
When I did a radio production subject at UTS in the early nineties one guy (sorry forgot name) in the class did a radio piece about a tour of the “big things”. His commentary about the glowing Big Prawn eyes was hiliarious … along the lines of it being an alien device signalling to it’s alien crustacean brethren, “not now: but soon”.
ALP/union hatreds have nothing on feuds within corporations. They kind of go with the territory of working in an organisation … bugger all to do with ideology, although that might be a convenient excuse.
I’ve always had a soft spot for the big beehive at Urunga, one of the most under-rated towns on the NSW coast. And isn’t there a big something at Longreach? I know there’s a big guitar at Tamworth.
You need to expand your horizons Mark.
Mark, if you want to drink at the Ballina Hotel you will have to comply with quite strict dress regulations which state, amongst other things, that even if you have complied with all the specific dress regulations listed at the entrances to the pub, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are appropriately dressed.
Ken, there is also a Big Lawnmower at Beerwah (Glasshouse MOuntains) and a Big Cow at Yandina.
Lots of big things here….
Big Things
Mercurius @ 5 & 11, I couldn’t agree more, but I’d go further and say that the Samuel Griffiths mob are the power behind the CWA throne. They are probably the bastards who spun the whole lamington drive idea to old Pig Iron. (No wonder I hate the Libs.)
Forget Rummy, Dick, Wolfowitz & co and their tame buffoon, these mongrels are the worst of the worst. Their sinister aim is global lamington domination! Enslaved and brainwashed kindy kids will be sent door to door with their deadly cargo.
Forget bin Liner, these faceless brutes intend to turn the world into a vast lamington factory and must be stopped at all costs.
AND I bet they hate cats.
Oh, and the Big Lobster in Robe. It’s hideous.
Razor: or a desexed one that’s kept indoors.
While I never learned to shoot well enough, the family’s certainly shot the odd feral cat as our service to the Australian environment. Also caught a bunch of European carp, too…
I’m tempted by the idea of a pet quoll, actually.
Re: Andrew Lloyd Weber and “that riff”. Roger Waters got his own back in “It’s a Miracle”, so it all evens up in the end.
The Big Thing (small in this instance) we used to have a laugh at is the Mini Sydney Harbour Bridge…who’s gonna travel to Warwick Farm to see it when the real thing is only 40kms away??
David Irving (no relation) the Big Lobster is in Kingston. I believe there’s a Big Rocking Horse somewhere in the Adelaide Hills and there’s a Big Orange in Berri.
Bloody hell, Mercurius, you don’t think there’s a Big Lamington somewhere?
Liam wrote:
footnote: never eat there. The food is memorable, but not in a good way.
Ballina however is interesting and probably the last town left on the NSW north coast still worth visiting.
Byron Bay, just north of there, is the home of the Big Dollar, but you’ll never see it yourself as parking there is impossible.
Australia: The tale of Baron Lamington and an improvised cake
Although some reports say Lord Lamington approved of the taste (as did millions of Australians), he was reported to have referred to the cakes later as “those bloody poofy woolly biscuits”.
Lord Lamington left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth when Governor, by slaying a koala.
Invited to Binna Burra in 1899 by conservationists pushing for a national park, he had just begun his journey back to Brisbane when he ordered his carriage to stop: he had spotted a koala asleep high in a roadside tree.
Then he reached for his rifle, let loose one shot and it fell to earth dead, to the horror of his hosts.
Lamington’s faux pas may well have led to the introduction of foxes to the colony, their role being to provide more active sport than was available from the indigenous fauna.
Well it’s just a theory.
Left out is the [this] Year of The OX!
The Big Rocking Horse is in Gumeracha. No sign of a Giant Rocking Horse sh*t though.
It is a rather silly article isn’t it. I like the non-realistic paintings thing. This is the 21st century, really?
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I’m reminded of the time I was on Andrew Bolt’s blog, he had a painting by that guy who did Pauline Hanson’s speeches. It was some naff bit of pastel landscape rubbish. The sort of thing you’d find in a sleepy coastal town. I expressed my views and received an avalanche of abuse viz how I liked ‘that rubbish Jackson Pollock’ which I don’t especially and the rest.
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I’ve never noticed people involved in left wing politics having particularly bohemian or avant-garde tastes. Sorry, just haven’t. Those who do aren’t much interested in politics. They don’t hate people from the suburbs or any of that. They’re indifferent. And a lot of ‘em don’t hate small business either ’cause they run ‘em. Why? ‘Cause no-one’ll employ ‘em ’cause they’re too weird.
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But Bolataburbia sure hates us. I think it’s resentiment. And Bolt conflates it with something called ‘the left’ as a bogeyman to stir up the herds.
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Thing is Quadrant should be above this sort of thing. It’s really childish.
Evidently, Ken!
Is there a Big Latte somewhere by any chance?
KDE Robert? Shame. That’s UnAustralian; Gerry Harvey does not approve.
You’re right, Jane, it is in Kingston, but it’s still hideous. I remember seeing the fucking thing on my way down to my son’s place in Mt Gambier one time, and had trouble telling the difference between Robe and Kingston (as one does).
XFCE on the media center, Liam.
[squints]
Ah yes. I see you have beers and a cat running *simultaneously*.
Carry on.
Other Big things that are dear to us:
The Big Ute (Hay)
The Big Arse (it’s behind youuuu!)
The Big Mouth (Sydney)
The Big Whinge (Melbourne)
The Big Government (Canberra)
The Big Pooftah (Darlinghurst)
Well David Irving (no relation), that’s a red lamington to a bull! How dare you sir? Everyone knows Robe’s more betterer than Kingston. You probably didn’t actually see Robe either going to or from the Mount, because it’s off the main drag.
Meanwhile, back at Wingnut central:
https://www.quadrant.org.au/blogs/connor/2009/01/tracey-s-invasion-day
The latest incoherent Tracey post.
And Mick Dodson was a distraction from the economy:
https://www.quadrant.org.au/blogs/connor/2009/01/are-you-doing-it
Is there a Big Wingnut anywhere in Australia? Does it look like Michael Connor?
Here, Kim. Scroll down about halfway. Can’t vouch for the likeness, but at least one of them has the ability to raise a smile as you pass by.
Warning: big things abound at this website. (And shit it makes me melancholy for North Queensland. Fun place. Except during cyclone season.)
Ha!
Thanks, Chuck!
I can’t help noticing that while everyone here is being cheerfully ecumenical and tres jolie about Australiana, you’re all carefully steering clear of the issue of Drop Lamingtons.
Pretending they don’t exist won’t make ‘em go away you know.
Jethro @73: that’s the one I’m thinking of. They may well have filched it from Vaughan Williams themselves; I don’t know cos I’m not a big Rafe fan, but I have noticed at least one slightly peculiar instance of what can only be called plagiarism in the Floyd’s early work (lifting one of Jim Morrison’s lesser-known lyrics from “Love Street” for “Fat Old Sun”), so they weren’t entirely above doing that sort of thing.
This is a misnomer, really. If you want them to drop, you have to shoot them out of the tree in a shower of coconut, no doubt to the horror of your hosts. They don’t drop of their own volition.
Perhaps teh left is right to be wary of Drop Lamingtons, then?
Yeah, and Ted Bullpit was dead right in observing the seething hatred his son-in-law felt for him, what with the bloody wog’s refusal to put the money on the fridge without first being prompted.
No doubt to eventually be collected & published in book form.
A nice companion piece to Andrew Bolt’s Still Not
SaneSorry.Not necessarily coming to a bookstore remainder bin near you, if they get the same deal as Bolt whereas it’s sold exclusively at newsagents who have to return usold copies instead of reducing the cover price…
There’s a giant Gippsland Earthworm near the town of Bass near Phillip Island. Unfortunately I couldn’t find an image of this wonderful thing.
I’m surprised the Big Koala near Horsham hasn’t gotten a mention yet – man that’s a large tub of ugly grey ferro-cement.
Tell ya for free – I hate it!
Helen, I believe the worm to which you refer is here. And a fine specimen it is too.
Is that Paul Atreides standing on its back?
I don’t know, but those emu costumes are pretty realistic.
The pink lamington question remains uresolved as well. Personally I am strongly in favour. Although they must made pink by being dipped into semicongealed red jelly before the coconut roll, NOT pink coloured icing.
People do that?
*Shudder*
Speaking of food and authenticity, I’m off now to make Stephanie Alexander’s Chocolate Sorbet (the one with coffee and cinnamon in it) with my new ice-cream maker, because it is rumoured to get to 44 degrees in Adelaide today.
/OT
That’s the one, Adrian.
and Phillip Island also has a large concrete koala.
It also has the house of Impossible Things which is good for eight year olds, and a farm near San Remo which sells venison and cuckoo clocks. All your needs catered for!
But i’m drifting too far off topic.
Just in passing, Connor’s weak “Tracey” pastiches show he despises the very “ordinary Australians” they claim to defend.
Who exactly is he supposed to be going after with those ‘Tracey’ columns? Is she supposed to be likable? Anyway, I like her, even if she’s nothing like any performing arts PhD I’ve ever met. If she has an obvious flaw, it’s that she’s too trusting of that narrator character: now he’s a smug bastard.
Heh!
I thought one name in the climate-change-denialist section looked familiar. Gah. Isn’t this sad? From the highs of the Comedy Company to the real-life Uncle Arthurs of Oddrants. But as he says on his website, “is satire possible in the Age of Political Correctness™?” Not with that hair, Ian.
“Mind Wars”: Is Quadrant employing a Darwinian strategy to reproduce itself? Discuss.
Oh, for the enticing joy of cheering up and thinking about President Palin.
“Not with that hair, Ian.”
*guffaw*
Oh dear. Where did Ian leave his brain?
With the temperature peaking at 45.5 degrees C in Adelaide today, and between 42 and 43 degrees C in different parts of Melbourne, I suspect Ian and Andrew Bolt won’t be doing any “global cooling” pieces for at least a week.
Paul Norton Bolta Column Prediction FAIL
For the benefit of our North American, British and Irish readers, 45.5 degrees C is 113.9 degrees F, and 42 and 43 degrees C are 107.6 and 109.4 degrees F respectively.
Helen wrote:
It’ll never work. I was unfortunate enough to catch McFadyen recently on the telly doing that “married couple in bed” skit from the Comedy Company – those moobs he was so proud of in the eighties are the perfect contraceptive.
Hadn’t even really read a proper climate denialist article until that one just liknked in Q. Sorta thought it was getting more self-evident the world was going to hell in a hand-basket just by the way the weasther’s changed.
But now, I have to ask – are these guys lapsed Catholics?
Behemoth @ 115 and everyone else, they’re not drop lamingtons, they’re jelly cakes, an entirely different tin of cakes. And they’ve been vetted and found to be CWA free.
“Mark, if you go past the Big Prawn, be sure to do it at twilight. It has a glowing red globe in each eye which makes it look like Satan’s crustacean.”
I met a lawyer once who was taking a case for a woman who lived next door to the big prawn and was being kept awake at night by the light from the creature’s eyes. At least that’s what he said. Now I realise he was probably just a lefty acting out his hatred of big things.
Is there a Big Latte somewhere by any chance?
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I think there was one on Gertrude St, Fitzroy but someone pinched it.
Meanwhile, evidence for global cooling continues to accumulate.
Speaking of global cooling – today’s Crikey:
Heh.
Sydney had our series of 39°+ days last week. A bit of discomfort, not too many worries. Not a buckled rail.
Sydney’s non-privatised public transport system and power infrastructure aren’t so shabby now, are they Melburnians?
“Sydney’s non-privatised public transport system and power infrastructure aren’t so shabby now, are they Melburnians?”
Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Too right Liam. Im moreover convinced Connex had never previously had anything to do with trains before getting the tender.
Renationalise it, Victoria. The point of public transport is not to make money. Its to move people efficently so that downstream users (eg business) can make the economy tick over. The Victorian system allows for neither – and the state govt is always bailing those private sector losers out anyway.
Another FAILED privatisation policy.
A few days ago a friend who has worked in the Victorian railways for many a long year, told us that some of last week’s cancellations were not strictly due to safety or maintenance faults, rather some were part of a quiet industrial campaign by drivers to squeeze management. “And Connex management are too weak to say so”, quoth he.
Well, today Connex’s chief removed the gloves and said so. http://www.theage.com.au/national/connex-blames-union-for-cancellations-shocker-20090129-7scn.html
But yes, Liam: many Victorians regret the privatisation of the railways. Some of us wonder whether routine maintenance of electricity grid infrastructure is up to scratch too, especially during bushfire weather.
I suppose the unions are to blame for their website packing it in too?
Those ungrateful closed-shop server racks.
Pffft.
It was 45.7 in Adelaide yesterday, plummeting all the way down to a chilly 33.9 overnight, and the transport and (as far as I know) power were fine. And we do it all without any water!
“The Brumby Government has admitted it is “no cheaper” having a private operator like Connex run the system, but says it wants the international “innovation and efficiency” of a privatised network.”
Jesus wept.
So how can something be more “innovative” and “efficient” without being cheaper?
That’s easy – just bring in the “innovation” of providing fewer services!
“just bring in the “innovation” of providing fewer services!”
No, no, that was the efficiency aspect. The innovation was their Myki ticketing system
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/06/19/2280300.htm
It’s quite amazing that they expect us to swallow the bullshit about the heat story. I mean, Melbourne’s had plenty of hot spells in the past without this carryon. Do they think none of us have any memory whatsoever?
We’re all furious at the Government. That said, we know the other mob would be just as bad.
Dr Cat, you clearly live in one of the about three Adelaide suburbs that have almost acceptable “public” transport. (Ours got sort-of privatised, too, and only survives because of massive govt handouts.)
I’ll tell you, it sucks out Athelstone way.
Air conditioning is a source of much of the Victorian woes. Apart, of course, from mad privatisation loved by leaders who hate responsibility.
Every man and his dog must have an air conditioner running at full speed and no one is prepared to tell the greedy bastards that we haven’t got enough power to run the bloody things. That explains the blackouts.
Public transport is stuffed because trains were bought without windows and rely on air conditioners working. When just one carriage has a stuff up the train is taken out of service to stop the customers from cooking in the can.
The Brumby Government has admitted it is “no cheaper” having a private operator like Connex run the system, but says it wants the international “innovation and efficiency” of a privatised network.
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That’s really unfair.
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Brumby cares man. He cares:
He and his staff have been very busy
telling the public to call Connex if they’re not happyfixing the trains. In fact they’ve been so hardworking they’ve spent $108,000of our moneycommuting to high leveljunketsto ensure thatthey’re going to get a cushy consultancy after they get chucked outVictorians get the public transport system they deserve..
And even if Brumby didn’t care the opposition’s on the case:
Who was it decided to gift a monopoly on essential services to Connex in the first lace dickhead?
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http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24969843-5006785,00.html
Adrien, if you don’t stop it everyone is gonna think you are a raving Dionysian commie. Behave now.
Posey – Adrien, if you don’t stop it everyone is gonna think you are a raving Dionysian commie.
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Well I am a raving Dionysian.
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Commies are no fun.
Yeah … but they’re still in Sydney though. :p