In the wake of the strange anti-analytical spray from Christian Kerr in The Australian against blogs yesterday (discussed here), my QUT colleague Axel Bruns has posted a comprehensive analysis of his rant:
Amongst the standard-issue ammunition in the journalism industry’s defensive skirmishes against those pesky citizen journalists and news bloggers is the deceptively simple claim that there’s a clear difference between reporting the news, i.e. breaking stories (which is what professional journalists do) and commenting on the news, i.e. “endless talk” (which is what everyone else does).
It’s a line repeated in the latest missive from Christian Kerr in The Australian – a rabid, self-serving rant against all those online commentators from Possum’s Pollytics to Larvatus Prodeo whom he doesn’t like, curiously claiming in its title that “our blogs [are] too analytical”, as if intelligent analysis is somehow a bad thing. Still, if nothing else, it’s got one thing going for it: if ‘real’ journalists are the ones that break stories, then Kerr himself isn’t a journalist.
One problem with that neat definition, though, is that breaking stories isn’t a particularly common trait of mainstream newsroom practice these days: much of the content of our daily newspapers and broadcast bulletins comes from a diminishing number of global wire services, and is simply processed by journalists to fit the local context. Similar to citizen journalists’ common practice of gatewatching – following the news passing through the gates of mainstream news publications, and then commenting on it – this is a kind of industrial gatewatching, where agency feeds are constantly monitored for new items to be inserted into the locally-produced publication. So, news bloggers and citizen journalists don’t tend to break stories – but neither, for the most part, do professional journalists.
That’s spot on, I think, and the rest of the post is well worth reading.
I’d also observe that the anti-intellectualism is curious. On one hand, there’s probably some sort of a throwback to the “journos are hard men of the streets” school of romantic delusion – which still has its reflections in internal conflicts within universities over the respective value of journalism education and media and cultural studies. That’s the only context in which suggesting that “analysis” is a dirty word makes even a smidgeon of sense.
Obviously, on the other hand, there are some battle scars on display too, as demonstrated by Kerr’s attack on Possum. [His response provoked a rare 'laugh out loud while reading' moment for me.] And probably some echoes of the culture wars – tribunes of the people versus the latte sippers, blah blah blah.
But the dissonance between what one presumes is the target market of the print version of The Australian and the curses piled on those with three university degrees just reflects the dysfunctionality of the mindset that inspires these remarks. Perhaps The Punch is aiming for a more tabloid market, but David Penberthy’s now notorious comments about his desire not to edit a “fancy, la-di-dah site” are cut from the same cloth. [In passing, I'd note that Penberthy also takes a swipe at coffee shops in his post... a strange obsession.]
The related dissonance between “celebrating journalism” through publishing an opinion site has also been widely noticed. As has the irony of supplying ‘content’ for free to News Limited.
I think it is the mythos of the dedicated and hardened journo pounding the mean streets that unifies all the apparently irrational and contradictory assertions bubbling up from the News Limited cauldron. Axel Bruns has demonstrated how out of synch such a mythos is with present reality. I’d add that any profession, industry or organisation which resorts to a fantasy of origins as a modality of defence against reality is going to have a very difficult time indeed in adjusting its practices to current and future actuality.
Elsewhere: Don Arthur at Troppo.
Mark,
Possum’s response was here, not where you linked.
Thanks, Andrew – will fix!
No stranger than the Coalition’s obsession with burly hardhat-wearing union-types who will barge into your office and switch out the lights! (Remember that marvelous Coalition 2007 electoral ad?)
I think they just need a phantasmal caricature to project onto. Their imagined villains are cut from the same cloth as anti-semitic 19th (and 20th)-century cartoons of conspiratorial hook-nosed bearded be-robed Jews whispering in each other’s ears their world domination plans. There doesn’t need to be any reality to the caricature. It’s just a device to bind together the otherwise incoherent narrative.
OTOH, maybe there really was a rampaging gang of over-educated coffee-drinking men in overalls during the late 1960s; who broke into the childhood homes of Penberthy, Kerr, Tony Abbott and Joe Hockey, and beat them up while intoning passages from Of Grammatology in the original French?
Heh!
Oh, yes, Merc, I agree.
The problem for them, though, is that their narrative isn’t to be subjected to the tender mercies of deconstructive literary critics, but actually needs to find some point of articulation with reality if they are to have a future in the biz. Yet another irony is that the champions of the market are now subject(ed) to its disciplines – people, for a whole range of reasons, just won’t buy their schtick any more.
In retrospect, I think the crazy “We Own Newspoll” sprays were a defining moment. The crisis came out into the open, and ever since they’ve been trying to combine loud denunciations of others with proclamations of their own objectivity – a word that bizarrely recurs in many of Kerr’s opinion pieces.
I actually had a read of the Oz’ op/ed page yesterday – for the first time in a long while. David Burchell still banging on about Kevin Rudd’s Monthly Essay, combined with weird accusations that Rudd is a poseur because he’s really a latte sipper like Burchell. And that it’s ok to be a genuine intellectual like Burchell (as opposed to Rudd the fake) because real Aussies will still love you if you know the cricket score. Or something.
The incoherence is astonishing. The referents for the categories they construct are decomposing before their eyes – because the imaginary can no longer be held in any sort of relation to the real.
It’s a death cycle.
The thing that most amuses me is that Christian’s tone – whether writing for Crikey or heard on various ABC shows – is *exactly* what I imagine when I hear the term “latte sipping”.
Personally I prefer capuchino.
Here’s the said Burchell piece:
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,25635168-5013480,00.html
Good lord, Mark, it’s worse than you described.
That’s some spectacular violence to history.
Mercurius,
I don’t know about that. I have seen Kevin Reynolds at a particularly nice café in King Street on just about every morning I walked past it on my way into work. He did look a touch incongruous in his “Dare to Struggle, Dare to Win” red braces, jeans and workboots with a frothy designer coffee in his hand. A sign of sophistication on Perth building sites, perhaps?
Latte drinkers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your full-fat calories
Could someone please tell me which beverage I should be consuming?
Rioja, Fine!
I think the News Limited mob, though, should consume a Bex dissolved in water and have a nice lie down.
Seriously, will anyone join me in forming a Latte Drinkers Defence League? It’s time those of who enjoy our coffee au lait rose up and struck back at those who will impugn us!
Mark,
Sorry – Chianti Classico Riserva. Tuscany for me – the Medicis drank that stuff.
I’m happy to inform you, Andrew, that from my point of view it’s not an either/or!
Hi I have commented elsewhere if “Journalists” stuck to reporting the news instead of “creating it” they would have an improved public perception.
They all seem to be in denial mode since Nov 07 with the Murdock press leading the stampede and now with Tip pulling the plug they are now going to have to regroup.
With Antony Greens updated REPS calculator showing a BIGGER majority with this latest poll data, I shall keep on chuckling at the narrowing comments aka the Tizer. Honeymoon over but only for the Libs.
C K seems to have had a road to Damascus revival since Murdock starting paying his bills. Finally say a prayer for Glen Milne no one to champion now
I’ll join you in the Defence League Ben. Those wines sound very good to me. Can I also suggest some good roses from the La Rochelle region? Or am I now a total wanker? Sparkling rose is pretty good as well.
Fine @ 10,
The LP hivemind will shortly issue our Five-Year Directive For Recreational Beverages. The approved list will be spelt out in excruciating detail, and anyone who dares deviate from these prescriptions will be driven off a cliff.
Elsewhere: Don Arthur at Troppo.
Just to take the conversation out of the realms of the Canberra cognoscenti for a moment, I can agree with all of this about the likes of Christian Kerr and David Penberthy BUT…
At the moment I think what is happening in Iran is very interesting. It confirms that social media is not just apolitical fluff and chasing around Ashton Kutcher, but may have a political significance at certain moments. At the same time, I am quite glad that there are “journos as hard men of the streets” like John Simpson, who are employed by places like the BBC, and who have a very clear understanding of how to cover events like those currently happening in places like Teheran.
I’ve been following Andrew Sullivan’s blog, among other things, on this, and his observation on the MSM and the blogosphere and MSM-bashing is interesting in relation to these events:
For the link see here
Merc@18
“The LP hivemind will shortly issue our Five-Year Directive For Recreational Beverages”
Lucky I wasn’t drinking a beverage at the time, or it would have come back out my nose.
“The approved list will be spelt out in excruciating detail, and anyone who dares deviate from these prescriptions will be driven off a cliff.”
Which cliff will that be? The one on the left or the one on the right. (Hang on, didn’t one just fall into the ocean?)
“Latte drinkers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your full-fat calories” and a world to win!
Don’t forget that “world to win” Mr Eltham. These are big stakes we’re dreaming about.
Life is nought but froth and latte
Two things stand like stone
Kindness in another’s cafe
Courage in one’s own!
Terry
The upsurge in Teheran is impressive. The Opposition Leader seems quite conservative. When troubles broke out in Rangoon last year I was optimistic that the Generals would go. Calmer LP posters said: no, there needs to be a broadly-based clandestine movement (like the UDF/ANC in South Africa).
As an outsider, I can’t judge who well organised these dissidents are. I hope they remain non-violent. There’s history here…. After all, the Ayatollah Khomeini came to power decades ago after months of steadily-building street marches…..
Is this a “Gdansk” for Iran?
Gdansk could have gone either way: it might have fizzled out after a week. The movement built itself, rapidly. The country was ready. Just one spark.
We can’t see “revolutionary moments” until they’ve played out in full. Hindsight’s the only reliable viewpoint. Meanwhile, young folk dodge bullets and risk their futures. Old persons, also.
If theocratic Iran could democratise……
I like it Ambigulous.
I have a dream that one day all coffee drinkers, whether they drink it black, white or ristretto, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual … etc etc
Terry yes, there are plenty of journalists still out there gathering primary data and reporting it, which is what I think we would all like journalists to do. However an increasing number of these ‘news’ stories consist of little more than summaries of what various anonymous people allegedly said, all written to support the journo’s evaluative opinion piece … one usually presented in the context of an argument full of assumptions about causation and implications for a particular interpretation of likely future developments.
The stories that do consist of nothing but hard data are seldom allowed to speak for themselves, being edited into commentary given by some office-based pundit like Kerr. Or even worse, given a perfunctory run-through on TV as a precursor to some wretched news reader doing a live interview full of “What does this mean for …?” type questions.
How many more years will Rupert underwrite The Oz, I wonder? If I had to put money on the longevity of LP v The Oz, I’d put my dough on LP.
Well, I’m stuffed. I don’t particularly like lattes (they go cold too quickly). Long black espresso for coffee, and second-flush Darjeeling when it comes to tea.
So, which cliff ought I direct the driverless train to?
Amazing how many lefties have those $2000+ coffee machines on sale everywhere these days, not…
otoh, I can’t remember one single eastern suburbs pile > $2m that hasn’t got a better one on the granite/marble benchtop.
You’d have to live in whoop-whoop under a rock not be to au fait, with cafe au lait, FFS. Just how out of touch with just about every demographic are these News Ltd people?
FTR, I make do (and well) with an entry level $149 Sunbeam coffee machine – still going strong after 3 years – ROI – one month.
Oh, Jo, 149 bucks? How la-di-da you are! My $25 plunger (none of yer fancy ‘French Presses’ or ‘cafetieres’ around our house, mate) has been working overtime for more years than I dare to say!
Speaking as a soy drinking er, person, I understand that the most important part of the make your own coffee at home is to have a decent grinder so that you have reasonably fresh coffee. I’m sure my 20,000 dong Vietnamese contraption would produce better coffee if I bought a $500 grinder.
Perhaps that’s what Mr Kerr needs. A better (organ) grinder.
Would a kitchen appliance, by any other name, caffeinate as grittily?
I’ll see your (organ) grinder and raise your mernkey!
(you ‘ave a permit for eet?)
It’s safe to disregard anyone who refers to the latte left, except as data on intellectual pathology. Kerr’s use of the term is consistent with the general level of his work.
What’s striking about Kerr’s piece, in terms of pathology, is the projection involved in a statement like “Australian blogs instead obsess about the mainstream media and their reporting”. Printed in the Australian, that is truly rich.
BTW, I wrote years ago that lattes are the Cold Duck of the 21st Century (my blog is down so I won’t link until I can get it back up).
Ye’ll never get me back to a plunger or them stove top thingeys again Merc – it’s top shelf and first class all the way now…$8.99 Grinders pre-ground from the supermarket and I’m living de vida loca, baby!
Prof Quiggin, I hope you get it (back) up very soon
Kerr has been a prominent flame-thrower in the tiresome bloggers v journos culture war for years but has long since lost whatever mojo that sustained him during his Crikey days.
His article yesterday added no insights to either practice and is best forgotten.
I still don’t know the ‘proper’ name of the stove-top implement I use (classic aluminium octagonal bialetti design is the original) – is it a cafietera (spp?)? Ah, wikipedia calls it a moka pot. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moka_Express
BTW, what is Cold Duck?
Wilful, the Italian aluminium stovetop thingies are called Macchinetta. They are for people who feel their home-made coffee has hitherto tasted insufficiently of aluminium.
Heh. Yes but you could get a stainless steel version which you may never use after a few months because it may taste quite ordinary without the aluminium flavour.
Or you could get a grinder.
Ken Lovell – well said. I also note that these unsourced reports are usually chockablock full of loaded epithets, of which my particular fave is ‘moderate’, closely followed by ‘reformist’. Both are usual in discussions of ‘hot spots’ in foreign correspondentdom and denote, if not actually paid agents of the CIA, at least willing Quislings.
And in terms of any health-nuttery aspersions re: the Latte Drinking Brigades – cafes actually look more like up-market methadone clinics at 8am with everyone lining up rain, hail, shine.
No-one is going nowhere until that shot is got.
I wish to point out that “Christian Kerr” is an English translation of the Latin pun name for the Dominicans.
As you were.
mercurius, the stainless steel ones are fine, I reckon it’s a perfectly good cuppa. But I’m not a member of the latte left, they never let me join, the bastards. Maybe I needed to do an arts degree or something.
I didn’t mind Christian Kerr when he was writing for crikey, except when he talked about the Greens, when he’d froth at the mouth, but he’s not much chop these days.
The ABC is particularly fond of contrasting ‘moderate’ with ‘extremist’, but only is discussing a far off foriegn land, usually of the Muslim variety. Also ‘extremist’ is rarely if ever used to denote an goverment of the right persuasion.
Merc@38
“the Italian aluminium stovetop thingies are called Macchinetta. They are for people who feel their home-made coffee has hitherto tasted insufficiently of aluminium.”
Only if you wash them! The trick is to limit their cleaning to a rinse with hot water when your done
“BTW, what is Cold Duck?”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_Duck
Was popular.
“I didn’t mind Christian Kerr when he was writing for crikey, except when he talked about the Greens, when he’d froth at the mouth, but he’s not much chop these days.”
Cappuccino mouth moving right towards the offal?
I don’t read Christian Kerr or any MSM columnist these days. It’s mostly a wank. Kerr’s given a view which, imo, is pretty typically lacklustre and obvious. But I’m not sure why the backlash. What he writes is mostly true.
.
A lot of blogs are just the rants of the isolated, most of them are a catalogue of banality. I think just about every single one of them has some kind of groupthink in operation whether it’s proscribed by dogma or an organic manifestation of the sum of the commentors/contributors. There might be some kind of inference directed this way there but to the uninitiated it’s simple a plug..
.
A plug for a medium which Axel Bruns rightly reminds us is capable of dwelling on the high end of Esoterica.
.
BTW Axel Bruns is in the wrong career. With a name like that he must quit his job and form a Heavy Metal band.
‘La machinetta’ means only ‘little machine’. You will need to add ‘del cafe’ (meaning of coffee). There are plenty of little machines in Italian, so you need a little more detail. ‘La caffettiera’ is correct and it is commonly used. No it does not taste of aluminium. If it does, you have a defective one.
“‘La machinetta’ means only ‘little machine’. You will need to add ‘del cafe’ (meaning of coffee).”
So to get the full term correct in Italian, you must add a phrase in Spanish? Fascinating!
‘La machinetta’ means only ‘little machine
.
No. Axel needs a Big Machine to make his Heavy Metal Legend.
Also, it most certainly does taste of aluminium. Particularly if, as observed somewhere above (attribution was never my thang) it has been recently scrubbed. Basically, your choice is between tasting faintly of stale coffee grime or aluminium oxide. Faintly, sure, but still…
Get a steel one, clean it often, replace the seals often, grind freshly each time, don’t grind too fine, tamp it down pretty hard, remove it from the heat the very moment you hear it start gurgling, and it’s a pretty good approximation of an espresso. Although a monkey with very little training could do better on any cafe machine. Even a right-winged monkey.
Caffettiera – don’t mind me, I was just being a smartarse.
About the coffee, I am deadly serious.
I’ll have a shitload of dim sims, thanks, with a bucket of soya sauce. I understand Iran is methodically ejecting accredited / affiliated journalists so in terms of the usefulness of distributed media we shall see what we shall see.
Adrien wrote: “A lot of blogs are just the rants of the isolated, most of them are a catalogue of banality”. Yes, it was Adrien wot wrote it. Himself.
Contemplate that, ye mockers.
Coffee fascists.
I prefer to be the burgundy bourgeoisie …
Consider how much “holier than thou” stuff from the MSM is actually merely a tweak of a media release, with the selection of which media release to publish the main work of the MSM.
(http://media.australia.gov.au/rss.cgi aggregates all the Fed gov ones, then there are the states, and the RSS from the other parties …. online, forfree, no ads. Besides, searching in Google Reader is MUCH more efficient than searching on different news sites)
And OK, true investigative journalism is good, and I pay for it, but on paper, so I can do the cryptic on my way to work or over my double-strength-flat-white in a cafe. (and I’m thinking of boycotting Friday’s Age because of DA).
On the other hand, opinion pieces in the MSM are precious little different from those by many freebie bloggers.
The exception to the media-release-trim-as-reporting, of course, are the sports pages.
But the real cat among the pigeons is the AdBlocker suite of plugins (start here), which has been in Firefox for years, and has just recently become an option for Microsoft’s browser offerings. (It won’t for Chrome, and I’ll use Chrome for a few sites as a means of rewarding the for their good work).
So… is the MSM /still/ going to find itself in trouble because of changing technical landscapes.
Following on from the breathless stories today about Twitter outwitting the dead hand of Iranian censorship, let’s hope the MSM has a full report on what kinds of coffee are favoured by the oppositionist marchers in Teheran, Isfahan etc; and for balance, a fashion report on the very latest with the Iranian Police and militias.
“I find the burgundy riot stick doesn’t show the blood, which I favour; but my buddy Achmed likes to team scarlet splatter with a lime tee-shirt. He was on YouTube beating the cr*p out of a student, then we stopped for an iced lemon and honey cakes at a very hot little juice bar just off…… it’s the in place with the de Sadeists.”
Good of The Australian to do free advertising for the blogosphere.
Every time the complain about it they help promote it and legitimise it, important enough to be mentioned in the OO don’t you know.
Ambi, re the Tehran fashion report, I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s observed that many young Iranian demonstrators are wearing surgical masks, whether as niqab or as swine flu precautionary measures who can say?
Bring on state ownership of water, power and infrastructure. We need to remove the profit incentive in selling more water and power, and we need more investment in infrastructure such as bike paths and rail.
Then we need to solve the problem about vacuous politicians making stupid ill-informed or just plain corrupt decisions about the above too, against the wishes of their electorates and the general public.
Regarding Kerr’s rant, this caught my eye:
Seems like he (or is that a she, Hilary Bray?) has got this exactly the wrong way around.
wilful @ 36:
They’re called “Coffee Daleks”.
What #49 said, although macchinetta del caffe usually refers to one of those vending machine-type contraptions.
Efdeebee, you should never scrub your Caffettiera/Moka. A gentle rinse with water is all you need to clean it, while retaining the coffee “conditioning” of the pot. Also, my latest caffettiera has a seal made of silicon, not rubber, which is proving to be the cat’s mee-wow in terms of durability and taste – strongly advise you get one.
Ah, silicon. Is there anything it can’t do?
I mean, besides approximate the appearance and consistency of real boozies, natch.
This is highly amusing. CK will be laughing like a drain.
A short piece in the Oz (which most of you anyway despise and profess to believe should be ignored), with a couple of throwaway references to the the latte left and the hive-mind, close the ranks against all criticism, nature of certain blogs, produces two threads and 150+ comments in refutation.
Don’t any of you think that this sort of sensitivity and over-reaction goes some way to suggesting that Kerr’s point has some substance?
Can you point to any over-reaction Wozza?
I find mostly off-hand contempt for Kerr and his shallow, self-serving scrawlings, and a bunch of lively banter about a whole bunch of things.
And what, may I ask, was Kerr’s “point”?
Yep comment directly above yours, for eg, redolent with sensitivity and over-reaction lol.
(No offence FDB)
Excuse me Wozza, we’re talking about coffee.
My main issue with the Kerr piece is that it’s flat old media re-produced online. By all means have a swing at bloggers for not breaking stories (errrmmm, didn’t Crikey do this back in the day when Kerr himself was there?), but do it in a way that has some understanding of the media you’re writing for.
Still most folks probably went to google ‘larvatus proteus’ or ‘fair-trade, rainforest alliance-certified, decaff and soy brigade’ – as Thomas Paine points out above. I blogged some more on this as well as a thought about the recent film State of Play as a comment on old/new media.
Make mine a soy flat white with a dash of scotch.
Which is what have should been done with them, yes.
Wozza, I think you’re half-right. I’m sorry we can’t all keep a dignified silence as you might prefer, but much of Kerr’s commentary directed our way is of the “when will you stop beating your wife?” variety, and he deserves to be called on it.
Demanding a higher standard of reporting from full-time paid journalists who disport themselves as defenders of our democracy doesn’t seem like too much to ask, does it?
And even in his light-on role as a gallery reporter, Kerr’s dour, grating partisanship just leaves a bad taste in the mouth. He has none of the wit and even-handedness of the late great Matt Price, none of the warmth and charm of Annabel Crabbe, nor any of the ‘hail-fellow-well-met’ bonhomie of Jack the Insider.
So, as Kevin Rudd might say, stick that up ya jumper, and get a dog up ya, ya mongrel!
Fair slice of the Pineapple, Christian!
Or something…
Who the hell scrubs a moka pot? You rinse it lightly to wash the grinds away but leave the oils behind. When you buy a moka pot, throw the first two dozen cups away; they’re just there to break it in.
Btw, we’re humourless lefties according to those wacky japesters over at Catallaxy:
http://www.catallaxyfiles.com/blog/?p=5368
It’s true, Mark. I personally have not laughed since one afternoon in 1994. A Tuesday, I think it was.
What we need, Merc, is a comedy act/show/book/series entirely conceived of, scripted, written, etc. by libertarians. I’m sure that would bring some joy and laughter to our sad lives.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A libertarian.
A libertarian who?
A libertarian who does not wish to be identified.
I’ll surprise you guys and say I find much to agree with here. I find the “breaking stories” bit the most galling. Some journo going to some polly’s press conference is “breaking a story”? How many “deepthroats” are there really? And even then some of the big name bloggers are hearing from the”deepthroats” first anyway. In most instances all the journo has over the better bloggers is more time to dedicate to the task. There are some journalistic ego’s Left and Right that just can’t process they aren’t all that special and talented.
I think the ‘attack” on analysis is suspiciously more like ” I don’t like the scrutiny”. Both sides suffer from this.
Another libertarian joke:
Q: How many libertarians does it take to change a light globe?
A: Depends on the relative supply of libertarians and light globes (and the fractional banking system).
Where’s Keyboard Cat when somebody needs to get played out? Oh yeah, here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ0nE1u7cv4
Onya Kingsley.
Also, what they’re all saying about the moka pot. Steel not aluminium. No detergent. Pour immediately upon hearing spluttering. I’ve never been offered, by a proud owner in a private house of a coffee machine, a cup of coffee that wasn’t either lukewarm or nastily redolent of scorched milk or (yuk squared) both. No point in having a $3K coffee machine if you can’t use the damn thing. I could have every room in the house re-floored for money like that and still get a yummy cup of coffee off the stovetop in the morning.
Q: How many libertarians does it take to change a light globe?
A: Only a central planner would want to know that. Road to Serfdom! Road to Serfdom!
Plunger.
But the glass pots occasionally crack.
Suggestions?
BTW, is it Donkeys who Bray, or Vicars?
Wear an apron. And XML creators.
*Everest*
No need to pillory
The memory of Hillary.
On his triumphant descent,
Some modesty went.
And the locals were sensing
Some sherpas were tensing.
ta gilmae. I had hoped to avoid their cracking, not just avoid the brown splash
Q: How many libertarians does it take to change a light globe?
A: When a government which undertakes to furnish every citizen with a lamp and even the match to light it, and then cannot do it even with a limitless number of officials, that government becomes a nuisance.
Q: How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Please re-phrase that question to take into account the ownership properties of the light bulb and the inability of the state to direct an individual to interfere with the property rights of another individual in relation to said light bulb.
Dr Cat, sort of like some cafes in the burbs have got all the equipment… but still can’t make a decent coffee, therefore some owners of coffee machines likewise, although it ain’t rocket surgery. Could be the type of coffee being used etc..
Coffee machine coffee tastes about 80-95% more like a proper city barista made brew than anything you can conjur up in a Moka pot or with a plunger (and it’s not like I didn’t spend decades plunging and moka-potting to be able to taste the difference) – it’s just physics – the pressure etc.
Machines start at $150. No need to be a wanker..or not get your floorboards polished. Anyway, seed planted.
I also don’t bother to froth the milk for my own – the crema is usually good enough to just pour from the
bottleplastic container.The point is you can spend thousands on a top of the range machine, but if you don’t have a decent grinder it is a waste of money because your coffee will be stale. Coffee must be fresh, and the pre-ground stuff you by from supermarkets is never fresh, irrespective of what it says on the label.
It’s been done, Mark. Unfortunately, Teh Thread of Doom™ crashed, several times.
Q: How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: However many it is, the Clintons are worse.
LOLKatz
Q: How many libertarians does it take to change a light globe?
A: As many as they like, Statist!
For me, Kerr’s article doesn’t add anything new to the discussion about blogs or citizen journalism and I reckon it’s very likely that I’m the only person to actually take his reference to this blog (LP) as a compliment. Kerr doesn’t seem to be saying that citizen journalism or blogging is always a bad thing but I think that he could have approached the topic without generalising and in a less flippant manner. He seems to have confused the point of giving everyone a voice with turning everyone into a journalist, and that’s a very common mistake, but it’s for that reason that the article shows his research on the topic hasn’t gone beyond casual conversation. Perhaps that’s what he was doing with this article, having a conversation, but then I would have expected the conversation at the Australian to have a bit more depth than that. Nonetheless, his article also points out that some blogs are written at a level too high for some of the population. I guess those ones can be left to the people with more than 3 degrees.
Finally, I have to say that Terry’s point about social media and the current events in Iran was spot on. Kerr would have done well to do as many other journalists and editors around the world have done ? immerse himself in social media to find out first hand the incredible reach and impact that this technology enables.
In the updated nursery story
A liberal, a Red, and a Tory
Go to sea in a boat
Using carbon to float
FUCKING SON OF JOACHIM FIORI
Oh well we were on the Jolly Smug
When darkling went the candle
Short stopped our breeze on the journalese
Of the outré branded vandal
.
It’s to innocuous shots from they
That we, heated, decry a scandal
And in our voluble loquacious jests
Join the fruit-juice chorus: beards and sandals
.
But, sink me, ’tis a petty scratch
And yet the skin it crawl an’ itch
As if in’d fallen down the hatch
A’ to effluviam, jabber pitch
.
Well may you say I’m just a cynic
Knowing price but value, Nitch!
An’ canst groove to this freethinkin’ clinic
Liked not the power of bitch bitch bitch
Higgledy-piggledy,
Ten libertarians
Arguing who was
The ruggedest one.
Along came a cyclone,
They all ran to save themselves
Individualistically
And then there were none.
thanks for the Pyotr Kropotkin, Liam. What a Prince among socialists!
Why did the libertarian cross the road?
That’s toll road to you, statist! God, you people take, and you take, and you take, you just suck us dry…
So, a libertarian, a libertarian, and a libertarian all walk into a bar…
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A libertarian.
A libertarian who?
I just told you: a libertarian. Why do you insist on conforming to a trope?
.
from “A Child’s Treasury of Libertarian Knock-knock Jokes”:
Knock knock.
(No answer)
.
Q. How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Why should I share that information with you? Parasite!
.
Q. How many leftists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. The point is not simply to change the light bulb. The point is to crash the entire grid, and live in perpetual darkness. That’ll show ‘em.
.
One morning I shot a libertarian in my pyjamas. The other libertarians could have warned him I was coming, but chose not to.
SMALL CHILD: I spy with my little eye something beginning with “L”.
LIBERTARIAN: It’s a LIBERTARIAN. Who are you spying for? You go to a STATE SCHOOL, don’t you? Admit it. AND STOP LYING!
Who cares about the libertarians? I want to know how many Arians it takes to change a lightbulb. One? Three? Or are they all the same being?
You’re asking the wrong question, Liam. The correct question is, How many Arians does it take to *refute* a light bulb?
Or you might ask instead, How many heretics does it take to hide a light under a bushel?
I kindaa prefer the original elephants in pyjamas joke. A libertarian in your pyjamas does sound rather saucy, though.
So, a libertarian, a libertarian, and a libertarian all walk into a bar…
… The first libertarian goes up to the bar to order drinks, but the barman says:
“Look mate, this is a collectivist statist bar. We don’t serve libertarians. You’re welcome to stay, but your two libertarian mates will have to go somewhere else…”
So, a libertarian, a libertarian, and a libertarian all walk into a bar…
1. You’d think one of them would have seen it, the poor injured darlings.
2. The barlady says, “Not you three again! Last time there was a punch-up with the collectivists and you reckoned the licensing laws were evidence of a Nanny State! Do I look like a nanny????” They slink away, as is their wont.
So, a libertarian, a libertarian, and a libertarian all walk into a bar…
The first libertarian says, “As you know, in a free society the price of everything is negotiable. Watch!”
The first libertarian goes to the bar and returns with a double scotch.
“I negotiated with the bartender. He gave me this double for the price of a single.
The second libertarian then went to the bar and returned with a jug of beer.
“Voila! A jug of beer for the price of a glass. Yes, everything is negotiable!”
The third libertarian approached the bartender. “Did you really sell a double for the price of a single and a jug for the price of a glass?”
“Are you crazy?” replied the bartender. “They paid full price.”
“In that case, I’ll just have a glass of water,” said the third libertarian.
The third libertarian returned to his friends.
“Look!” said the third libertarian, “A whole tumbler of vodka for free! Let’s drink to true friendship!”
“You pretend to pay us, and we pretend to work!”
Catallaxy responds!
http://www.catallaxyfiles.com/blog/?p=5386
Catallaxy humour, from the commentator who specialises in being wrong:
“LP was essentially set up as an anti-Howard protest site. It has run its course really. Even its founder has bailed.”
“heh”!
Wrong is the new Right.
‘Libertarian humor’ isn’t quite an oxymoron – just shorthand for ‘stuff that makes libertarians laugh’. It’s the stuff libertarians take seriously that’s really funny.
… so anyway, the first libertarian thinks about this for a moment, orders a beer and goes back to join the other two. When they ask where their drinks are, he tells them that it’s a collectivist-statist bar that doesn’t serve libertarians.
The second libertarian gets angry, calls him a sell-out to collectivist-statism and goes up to the bar, while the other two have a short natter about each individual’s right to make their own free choices, even in a collectivist-statist environment and how the real problem is the barman’s current monopoly on access to the booze…
Libertarians’ all-purpose excuse: How can I be a sociopath when there is no such thing as society?
But how will you survive when we go Galt?
That’s not an excuse – that’s an existential crisis.
Gotta say the scat cats are on the money here. This is the lamest collection of jokes I’ve seen in quite a while. Only LolKatz at #94 and Haiku Hoges at #98 got so much as a chuckle out of me, and largely because of the in-jokes. Where was “Atlas Tugged”, mmh? Not to mention the lack of mention of the inevitable “invisible hand” or “animal spirits”.
LIFT
Spectrum analysis
Libertarianism is conservatism for guys who are trying to get laid and anarchy for rich people.
Liberals have an irrational childlike faith in the government. Conservatives have an irrational childlike faith in corporations. Libertarians have an irrational childlike hatred of both.
If a liberal sees a starving child, they want to give them some food. If a conservative sees a starving child, they want to give them a Bible. And if a libertarian sees a starving child, they want to build a privacy fence so they don’t have to look at that shit anymore.
Beats me why Libertarians think a change in the system will propel them to the top of the food chain. The only thing they’ve ever successfully deregulated are their own realities.
How about “A libertarian human, a libertarian ostrich and a libertarian cat walk into a bar.”? Could this one go anywhere?
Indeed. But oh my teenage god of a distant anaemic past, I must say I always had a thing for a flock of hairdressers. My favourite bit was when he pressed the keyboard. Once.
AR: “…if a liberal sees a starving child, they want to +make someone else+ give them some food.”
There, fixed that for ya. A bit too broad to be sure, but you get the idea.
Shocking! Imagine wanting to see a starving child fed. How low can you go!
Hun,
No – if a liberatarian sees a starving child they help the child. They recognise that the responsibility for helping that child is theirs – and they do not start blaming “society” and expect that a huge new bureaucracy is needed to get some food to a child.
I see. The reason that there are so many starving children in the world is that there are so few libertarians.
Keep the laughs coming.
Our Mr Reynolds,
Doesn’t that then make the said Libertarian, a nanny?
no, adrian. It is because there are so many bureaucracies.
.
Vee,
Most libertarians deride the “Nanny State” as being an inefficient and overbearing way to deliver assistance to the needy.
AFAIK not many have trouble with the concept of a nanny.
[desperately tries to avoid obvious libertarian joke there]
Adrian @ 115:
Catallaxy humour, from the commentator who specialises in being wrong:
“LP was essentially set up as an anti-Howard protest site. It has run its course really. Even its founder has bailed.”
This has an extra layer of wrongness (or maybe just barefaced cheek) as it was the commenter himself, not Mark, who closed his own blog in May. (Not that I’m complaining.)
But Andrew, wouldn’t the super libertarian be able to bypass these evil bureaucracies in a single bound?
You know, like go over and give the money directly to each child.
If you can’t say it in verse it’s not worth saying people.
…
Pithily, frothily
Sharing cafe latte
The right and the left
Play our endless fun game.
Make sure the kids are fed!
(and protect what’s inherited)
Communalistically
Share out the blame!
All well-written jokes
Are tiny revolutions:
so claimed Orwell.
…
(PS. My previous effort went to the spam bin).
Liberals have an irrational childlike faith in the government. Conservatives have an irrational childlike faith in corporations.
.
Yes indeed. It’s irrational to believe that corporations or governments are categorically different in view of that of which we should really be afraid.
.
Libertarians have an irrational childlike hatred of both.
.
Haven’t noticed much by way of libertarians hating corporations. They should tho’. Too late now.
Like the Christians,
the worst ad for Socialism
is its adherents.
Catallaxy humour, from the commentator who specialises in being wrong
.
No you are lying. He is “a fallen deity among unrisen apes”. http://www.catallaxyfiles.com/blog/?p=5327#comment-134389
.
It’s been too long since there’s been a decent blogspat. Limericks at 10 paces, I say, and down with civility and good judgement.
…
Those jolly Catallaxy blokes
Don’t mix well with most other folks.
It’s not that they’re comical,
In things economical:
They’re the butt, not the source, of the jokes
Ah raise a glass to the lim’ricks
So cheri-shed by bloody Micks
When they ran outta spuds
Their brains were a dud
So they needed a tune fit for hicks
.
Serves well, tho’, to blast friends of Cato
A ‘tween peelin’ th’ evening’s potato
The destruction that’s wrought
Requires not much by thought
And the ideas will not really rate. Oh!
A man, an ostrich, a cat
Enagaged in political spat
Argued progress thru prims
Of this and that ism
Each of which was utter crap.
.
Yes P Cat: assonance. Is that allowed in limerick?
Who d’you think that you’re trying to be?
This lyric form isn’t that free.
You’re in my new expansion
My house! Scansion mansion!
Now I’ll pass the mic to FDB…
As you may have guessed Andrew I was only joking anyway.
However I think you have may have just took a hold of the main issue that bugs most ppl about libertarians, that is:
They don’t have a problem with concepts, just the implementation of those concepts.
*grabs mic from FDB before he sings “Tainted Love”. Again.*
Yah, abandon yer gravitas,
A duelo una vez mas!
For a good butt of jokes,
And a gullible hoax,
What you need is a really Hugh Jarse.
LOL. Anyone else think Mandarin speak just went 3 degrees too mental?
“Hi! I’m Barry Piatniski, and I’ll be your local area Education Revolution Co-ordinator this evening.
If we could get group A over there on gym projects, with my assistant Jan; and I’ll be helping Group B storm the winter palace.”
Nope.
Also, if you changed your first line round to read ‘An ostrich, a man and a cat’, it would scan better.
Serves you right for asking.
Changing commenter names:
Bored now.
‘A duelo’ threw me for a moment, but am I right that it’s not just used as un sustantivo? It can be a verb too? Or am I missing the point of the line?
/end beginner Spanish inquiry
I just think the whole “latte” thing is outdated, for two reasons:
1. In a cafe in Surry Hills I personally witnessed Greg Sheridan consuming said beverage. J’accuse!
2. If you go into the mainstreamest coffee shop in the mainstreamest shopping centre in the mainstreamest suburb/town, where the polling is within the margin for error and voters can be regarded as “Howard battlers” in both senses (i.e. they voted the Libs in and voted them out again), you will find lattes on the menu and selling like, um, hot cakes.
There’s an odd sort of dichotomy in the use of that term. It’s a bit like Stan Zemanek using “hoi polloi” to describe people who weren’t, or the way that politicians embrace “ordinary Australians” when the term “ordinary” is a term of abuse in sporting programs. The political sneer at “latte sipper” is of a piece with the “trendy” sneer that “latte is so passe, darling”.
Alrighty.
.
An ostrich, a man and a cat
With machine guns, ten feet. Rat-a-tat!
It’s the Way of the Micks
Get pissed, act like dicks
And make war outta chewin’ the fat
.
Down the street, stumble-out, fresh from Mass
This way comes a most evil Hugh Jass
On us he’s spying
Screaming: No you are lying.
An’ it’s 5 degrees warmer from his gas.
.
The insane blue-faced butt rants n’ rage
And won’t go back in his cage
It’s ’cause we’re all liars
And Shoah deniers
In the midst of a brutal ice age
It’s clear to anyone with half a brain that News Ltd is ramping up its attacks on the government in general and on Rudd in particular.
The latest attempt is utegate, which is a good example of that media speciality, how to create a mountain out of a molehill. Steve Lewis seems to be an expert on this technique, and his latest diatribe is remarkably fact free, even for him. Obviously the orders have come from on high, and the minions are just doing as they are told.
What is less clear is why the ABC would run this ‘story’ as the lead item on their radio news all morning, complete with an excited Turnbull calling for the PM’s resignation.
I know that only 23 people in Australia take News Ltd journalists seriously, but I would imagine the ABC still has some residual respect among those who are old enough to remember what it once was.
It looks like it is lining up as utegate vs catgate.
Senator Abetz goes to Canberra
We need a full report, Ute Man
What else can he do to pass the time?
Friends lining up for a night out are few and far between
Be kind
Buzz off.