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43 responses to “’tis the season of secular consumerism”

  1. FDB

    My little sis still knows the moves from her kindergarten xmas show. Largely because we still force her at prawn-point to do it every year.

  2. Armagny

    Bear’s got an Aussie Santa book, replete with beer, kangaroos and dinkum didge language. It’s ok but I don’t like the myth confusion. It’s bad enough that the slovenly mythical bstard takes credit after I’ve sat up for 3 hours putting together the trike…

  3. David Irving (no relation)

    Not Australian, I know, but I’m rather partial to the Pogues’ Fairytale of New York.

  4. Pavlov's Cat

    This one.

    Of course there’s also ‘Christmas Day’:

    The north wind is tossing the leaves
    The red dust is over the town
    The sparrows are under the eaves
    And the grass in the paddock is brown …

    Where I learned that song, you could see every single one of those things just by looking out of the window.

  5. Mindy

    At the moment it just seems to be the season to let go of long held beliefs that nothing pink, barbie or horse shaped,with glittery hair and plastic would ever enter my home.

  6. Polyquats

    It’s bad enough that the slovenly mythical bstard takes credit after I’ve sat up for 3 hours putting together the trike…

    Armagny, smart parent’s rule for Christmas:
    The most expensive/impressive/wanted present is from you.
    The rest of the junk is from Santa.

  7. Cooper

    Paul Kelly’s “How to make gravy” is a beautiful Christmas song

  8. Pavlov's Cat

    Cooper, that’s the one I’ve linked to at #4 — he does a terrific duet with Dan Kelly, recorded by the ABC so a better than usual quality YouTube.

  9. Paul Burns

    I like the Bad Santa movies. :)

  10. Paul Norton

    I like this one by Chrissie Hynde. Coldplay, Sheryl Crow and K T Tunstall also give the song a go.

  11. TimT

    A while back I wrote some atheist Christmas carols – here. But I like the traditional Christmas carols and their imagery and symbolism, too.

  12. Paul Norton

    This excellent paean to the season by Elton John is seldom remembered these days.

  13. Mindy

    Although an atheist, I do like me Bob Seger’s version of The Little Drummer Boy.

    Sung by a house (or at least that’s how it looks). Warning: lots of flashing lights.

  14. Cooper

    Sorry Pavlov’s Cat – should have checked that first. Double vote for that beauty then…

  15. Fine

    A dear friend sends me a burnt CD of obscure Christmas tracks every year. My favourite is Wizard doing ‘I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Year’. If you can remember them doing ‘See My Baby Jive’, it sounds much the same.

  16. Razor

    I second Cooper @ 7 and add

    Jolly Old Christmas Time – live with Weddings Party Anything (with comment from crowd at end)

  17. Razor

    Oops – thirded I see.

  18. Jobby

    No presents for Christmas!

    Sadly, my partner has been playing the old Twisted Sister Christmas album … shudder.

  19. dylwah

    I don’t recall celebrating xmas until i was 9, the same year that a StVdP package arrived on the doorstep. Not sure why. But Gaudete was on an album that my dad liked, tho i think that he liked the Saucy Sailor song better.

  20. Rayedish

    While in Hawaii last week, I discovered the radio station that they play in hell (imagining for a moment that there is such a place). 24 hours a day of Christmas carols interspersed with some right wing dj announcing the news with an open attitude of climate change skepticism. So each news break was announced with open scorn and then back to the horrible non-stop Christmas music. Bad Christmas covers are one thing but they were constantly playing some suite (I think its from the Nutcracker, but not sure) that I find really creepy. And the worse part was half the shops I entered were tuned to this particular station. It was (almost) enough to turn me off shopping!

  21. Debbieanne

    My daughter works at A&R and from the 1st Dec they had to play C’mas carols. so she borrwoed the sound track to Love Actually, for when the manager wasn’t there. Have to agree with Tim Minchin and the sentiment of that song, very nice.

  22. Pavlov's Cat

    Rayedish, was this it?

    Never mind the glockenspiel, look at the 1940 fairies!

  23. Yaz

    As a Christmas denialist, I often tell myself that I at least like the carols. Then I go to a Carol service and remember, again, that the ones that I like (the old and interesting ones, like, ‘It came upon a midnight clear’, or ‘Good King Wenseslaus’) are never sung, and we are left with the extreme banality of ‘Away in a manger’, or ‘Little town of Bethlehem’. Get me out of here!

  24. joe2

    PHOENIX – Sheriff Joe Arpaio has ordered that Christmas music be played throughout the Maricopa County jail system — despite the fact that several inmates have filed lawsuits and grievances.

    http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/dpp/news/local/sheriff-christmas-carols-in-jails-12-14-2009

    Bastard!

  25. j_p_z

    I was rummaging through Youtube trying to find a ‘normal’ version of this (one of my favorite carols), but came across this unusual performance instead so I had to post it. I think she does it quite nicely, I was surprised.

    Sorry it’s not Australian, but at least it’s one of those old-fashioned things that’s got a bit of seriousness and spine.

    I can’t think of a good English-language version of this, always wondered why it isn’t done more often. Does anyone know of a translated version?

  26. Bernice

    Second to PC re “the north wind is tossing the leaves”. As someone who has absolutely no memory for lyrics, I can still squwark this with gusto – learning it at primary school, it was memorably exotic; my first encounter with music distinctly Australian (apart from The Ball Bearing Bird… don’t ask…)

  27. Chookie

    ‘White Christmas’ and ‘Chestnuts roasting’ cause me to rant at PA systems and radios every year.

    Has everyone but me forgotten the Delltones’ No Snow at Christmas? It’s not on Youtube.

    Where Santa’s dress does not impress
    And snowmen don’t survive;
    The only ice is in the drinks –
    It’s summertime, and good to be alive.

    Deathless, I tell youse.

  28. Shaun

    This is the Little One’s first Christmas where she has a grasp of what is going on. The good, Santa Claus is a wonderful behaviour modification tool. The bad, well none really, she is having a great time. Even asked me the other morning “Daddy, is it Christmas yet?”

    Re carols, I love John Fahey’s The New Possibility album of solo guitar Christmas tunes. I usally learn and record a few each year.

    Joy to the World – John Fahey

  29. Rayedish

    Pavlov’s cat @22 – Yes that’s the one, however it is (I’ll admit) rendered a lot less creepy when accompanied by 1940s fairies.

  30. furious balancing

    not aussie but….

    Bob Dylan has a Christmas album this year. I think this is kinda fun:

  31. Jack Strocchi

    tigtog said:

    here’s Tim Minchin’s White Wine in the Sun, about how it’s possible to enjoy Christmas traditions even when you’re not religious, because in the end it’s all about family.

    I think you will find that sacred Christmas celebrations are also “all about family”, the Holy Family to be specific.

    More generally, there is an insoluble problem with secularised rituals, although they may not be profane they do lack sanctity, which requires a sense of ineffable mystery. It might be possible to get around that by going New Age or pagan, as with outdoor marriages. But this always risks looking ridiculous or strained.

    Minchin’s song was mostly whiny and unfunny although it did manage to squeeze in an ounce of wistful nostalgia.

  32. Fine

    I love Hoodoo Guru’s ‘Santa Never Made it to Darwin’.

    Sioxsie singing a Christmas carol -great find jpz.

  33. Helen

    Shaun, as a child I used to love the Advent calendars which in those days were just made with cardboard and glitter, but opening the one door a day for some reason was worth it regardless.
    I don’t buy them for my kids as I can’t find one now without chocolate in it – doubly unnecessary because chocolate will melt in the heat if it’s out on the wall. And I refuse to buy a bloody Bratz Advent calendar. What a grotesque concept!
    If I was a good parent I’d make one myself… but I’m another secularist whose commitment to the whole Christmas shebang is kept within strict personal limits.
    Our “must-have” is the real tree, for the scent.

  34. wilful

    I don’t really care for christmas music. But it’s been a bit of fun teaching my three year old some carols, such as “Hark the Herald Angels”, and explaining what a sinner is.

    Paul Kelly’s Roll on Summer is a great one for january. Or bradman for the cricket.

  35. Paul Norton

    And this one is as on-topic as it gets.

  36. Shaun

    I live the idea of an advent calendar Helen. Thanks for the idea. A bit late for one know but we’ll keep it in mind for next year.

  37. Kymbos

    Heathens. There is only one Christmas song worthy of note: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3354flS1KJs

  38. Ute Man

    Wow Kymbos – my fave too.

    Last Christmas,
    I permed up my hair
    but the very next day
    I sacked Andrew Ridg-ley

    This year
    it’s the police I fear
    and tablets that make me feel special

  39. murph the surf.

    Fine wrote “I love Hoodoo Guru’s ‘Santa Never Made it to Darwin’.”
    Sorry but wasn’t the song titled “Tojo Never Made it to Darwin”?
    ” Santa never made it to Darwin ” was a charity fund raiser recorded after cyclone Tracey leveled Darwin in 1974.

  40. Zarquon

    The Hoodoo Gurus song was just called Tojo.

  41. Fine

    You are so right, murph the surf. Apologies.

  42. jim sharp

    pavlov’s cat & or
    A materialist poem for Oz the 25th

    if there’s a gentle breeze on the 25th

    it’ll toss lifeless leaves listlessly &

    hardly move the loathsome red dust

    on yesterday’s house cleaned floors

    the birds perch silently ‘neath

    whatever wilted leaves found

    meanwhile in the back yards

    the grass crinkles underfoot.

  43. Lacquered Studio

    The only problem with these two numbers is that they’re both deathly, deathly dull. Christ, that “White Wine in the Sun” guy looks like death warmed over right from the start.

    I’m no fan of Christmas sentimentality, but I’ll happily take that over this blue-veined, chin-stroking boredom any day of the year. Christmas or otherwise.

    Sorry.