I’m finding it a tad puzzling why so many commentators are finding this election boring.
It’s strange; deeply strange.
Take the fact that almost every living former leader of any party is out on the trail, running, or otherwise embroiled in the debate.
Even while recuperating in his hospital bed, Kevin Rudd is “casting a shadow” over the campaign, trumpet newsreaders. That’s because Alexander Downer had some things to say, about which the less said the better, though Mark Latham is seemingly in furious agreement.
Cheryl Kernot’s standing for the Senate. Natasha Stott Despoja contemplated it. Andrew Bartlett’s running for Brisbane.
The campaign began with Bob Hawke and Paul Keating feuding. John Hewson’s on Gruen Nation.
Journos are reading things into Malcolm Turnbull’s campaign literature. Simon Crean’s offering warnings. News Limited spruikers are decrying the ABC for bias for mentioning Malcolm Fraser more than Latho.
Commentators write febrile copy tossing around terms like “assassinated” and “executed” with abandon.
It’s all positively spectral.
It’s like a Hammer Horror movie.
And the greatest shadow of all is cast by John Howard, the one leader who’s actually conspicuous by his absence.
What could possibly explain this phenomenon? Do indulge yourself in some hauntology.
Cross-posted at The Drumroll.
Because he’s the one person in the country who knows the Gillard government is getting reelected. Duh.
What else can happen when there’s no future?
When there’s no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth.
He~s still hurt and puzzled about missing out on that cricket job.
How can it be boring when according to Paul Howes ‘this will be one of the most important elections in our nation’s history’?
Presumably because it will decide whether he’s a Labor Rising Star or one of the morons who destroyed the ALP.
This causes me to imagine Howard playing scary organ music of the gothic variety, his eyebrows even wilder so that he takes on a kind of mad Beethoven look, laughing while the ghastly events of election 2010 unfold…
Re his absence, in the words of Professor Snape, anyone would think he’s… up to something.
Absolutely, Mark. It’s a particularly virulent meme. But this election is only boring by the common assent of the professional commentariat. In actual fact all are riveted – and it’s genuine car-crash quality.
However if it’s not boring – and it certainly isn’t – it is spectacularly depressing.
Nadir.
Australian politics has jumped the shark. Hunter Thompson at the height of his powers could not sufficiently satirize the political climate in Australia this year.
TURNING and turning in the widening media
The voter cannot hear the candidate;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere commentary is loosed upon the world,
The bigoted tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of judgement is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Of course, for all their complaints about how “boring” the campaign is, they’re not exactly livening it up by giving any airtime to people like Joe Toscano ( http://vote1josephtoscanovictoriansenateticket2010.com/ )…
Channelling Dr Phibes, perhaps Shingle?
Do not look not here for Dracula
He will not come by day again.
He’s anointed our new ruler
Whom he knows well will give us pain.
Abbott, his political love child,
He’s announced as his final choice.
Despite DNA claims once filed
By a certain Barnaby Joyce
His heir, now known as Action Man,
Had drunk deep of Dracula’s blood
For strength to carry out the plan
For foul revenge on Labor’s Rudd.
But it seems some female red head,
Not the one who owns a fish shop,
Has made him sick. He’s ill in bed.
That was wrought by Bronwyn Bishop.
Yes, Abbott’s spiritual ‘mother’
Had ‘daughter’ Julie – ‘Catwoman’ –
Stare Rudd down to save her brother!
Gruesome trio! Hardly human!
Stop this silly speculation!
This country is not Roumania!
We live in a modern nation.
Here there is no Trans…Syl…va…nia…
Oh, Help! Dear God!
Atheist Gillard cannot save us!
We need a crucifix and bell!
But here’s Abbott with two Bishops
And with his stake, dear Cardinal Pell!
Patricia WA, LOL. Well done.
N’
You missed Bob Carr, who’s been on local ABC radio here. I’m sure that the local ABCs are approaching Kennett, Beattie and Kerin (not so sure about Burkie).
What we need is a Van Helsing to kill the beast. Come on down Kim Beazley
Oh the quality.. the sheer entertainment value of these posts is top rate! Especially like Hunter S Thompson quote Wbb.
But forgive me, you more wise, politically savvy, and witty. but I feel the elephant in the room is the Greens… Is it not possible that this election could usher in a Green Senate? Polls are showing people who are disaffected with ALP are so because of their failures on Climate change (ETS/Carbon tax).
And it is just a little ironic that whilst these people may well vote Green in the senate, they could not in all conscience then vote for climate skeptics of the Libs… and so are forced to vote ALP.
These are the tensions that draw debate amongst my friends, my work colleagues, my family.
@11 – Beattie was in The Australian last week warning against leaks.
It’s not boring, it’s DEPRESSING. It’s all about snarking and point-scoring. I suspect that leaves many who are not really into the political cut-and-thrust cold.
I have given up reading much on the latest gaffe or leak or anything like that. I don’t care about that.
PS Errata @ 9. Can our Moderator help?
Full stop missing at end of Line 4, Stanza 2.
Line 4, Stanza 4, should read
No! T’was wrought by Bronwyn Bishop!
Sorry! Late hour, too much red! I really miss the review panel, too. Any particular reason we don’t have it any more?
By the way I started off with the idea that Dear John, had not quite completed his transformation into Dracula and was still in the middle of house moving with his so far one Bride from Wollstonecraft down to Sylvania, or perhaps Sylvania Waters. Somehow didn’t take off, but NSW does seem a likely state for the Resurrection of Count Dracula of Transylvania. Can’t see a role for the Greens though – but hang on, I’m sure Christine Milne has an abundance of garlic in that garden of hers!
Please don’t say that Patricia WA. I have relatives in Sylvania.
JWH’s off learning ping-pong somewhere so he can become an iternational star somewhere? Or the Libs told him to piss off, tough that he was suffering from relevance deprivation, but they wanted to win the election, and if people saw him they’d reemewmber …
I read a comment elsewhere that Howard would be a shoe in for the ABC board.
I’m not sure that will happen but I can see Howard getting some sort of honorary position somewhere as a mark of respect to the great man toppled unfairly from power in 2007.
That was good, Patricia WA
Well, if he’s too incapacitated to make the hustings now, maybe some of the spirit of Gough could be imbued:
A modest adaption of that would emphasise the differences quite nicely. Is Freudy around anywhere handy?
Down at the edge of the swamp, a wraith of Reith writhes. On the Wet Lake of Dreams, a barge perpetually carries the Bier of the Dauphin Tip, who died several years before he lost office.
Relevance Deprivation is a medical condition rather than a Hell. Those struck down inhabit an exclusive private hospital, sending out occasional, pathetic messages through corrupt nursing staff. Occasionally a sufferer escapes and hunts down a television camera.
Meanwhile, we live in a real Hell: the electoral cycle is lumbering forward, tires flat and bell busted. Beware!
We voters are truth seekers and baffled. Those plumping for the calculus of self interest find difficulty in differentiating. Journos are on uppers and Downers. The ghosts of past campaigns haunt the towns…. out of a swamp rises a scrawny hand clutching a fistful of dollars…. no child is now living in poverty …… we shall decide who gets elected in this country …… would the icing on the cake be eligible for GST? …..
A spectre is haunting the continent: the spectre of a fair go for all.