The rusted on LNP voters, and the incredibly gullible swinging voters, that is.
The all-knowing ABC election computer has spoken. Seats won, LNP 77, ALP 50, Greens 0, Other 2. Time to press “publish” on this post, which of course I wrote yesterday.
From Don Watson’s The All-Purpose Election Victory Speech:
I say to all Australians, however you voted today, you sent me a message, and now I have a message for you.
The message is this – I am the message. It is me.
Oh, don’t sound surprised. Surely you knew?
You didn’t think all that posturing was just to get elected? Did you think my wearing hard hats and rubber boots and fluoro vests and riding bicycles and poncing about in sad imitation of a real person was by order of my media managers, image consultants, PR gurus and polling analysts? That as soon as I got elected I would shed this cocoon and something … well real, would crawl out? What? Who? Lady Gaga? Dietrich Bonhoeffer?
Poor fools! Didn’t I tell you that with me what you see is what you get? No? I must have forgotten. Well, what you see is what you elected. Here I am – your own facile galoot.
The swaggering message machine, the cliché with the rictus grin you saw on your screens – it is I.
I’ve spent half my life looking for a slogan or something anodyne to say, and now this commodious mouth of mine is good for nothing else. My very teeth grow on platitudinous roots. No longer have I the words necessary for thought. Nor the instinct for it. It’s the saddest thing.
I blame you. You started it with your whingeing. I evolved to meet the demand. If I can say nothing else of a truthful kind, I can say this – what I have done, you did to me.
Helen linked to it last Wednesday. If you didn’t read it then I recommend you do so now!
While Watson crafted the speech for the winner of the election, whoever it may be, it seems to particularly appropriate to Abbott.