Author Archive for Darlene

Is your pooch better than my pussy cat?

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An ex-police officer told me that when she was in the force a colleague attended a house which contained the decomposing remains of an elderly woman. 

The deceased had two pets: a dog and a cat. 

According to the former cop only one of the two pets was still alive when the officers arrived at the scene.  

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Brüno: “No big deal, whatever”

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“The most famous Austrian since Hitler”

When Brüno was released in Australian cinemas it was received less than enthusiastically by a member of the Melbourne queer press.

The columnist wasn’t pleased with Sacha Baron Cohen’s turn as an Austrian gay fashionista who leaves the “superficial” world of Euro-fashion to become a superstar in LA. 

The critic suggested that although Brüno was made with a satirical purpose it wasn’t acceptable for Cohen to create such a caricature of a gay male. 

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Madness in the family: King of California and Stitches

King of California

King of California tries hard to be the kind of quirky movie cinemagoers will mention when discussing their favourite quirky movies (see Juno and Little Miss Sunshine).

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The Oscars and The Wrestler, The Reader and Milk

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Having never been a fan of Mickey Rourke’s acting skills and finding his recent revelations about his personal demons a tad Oprah, I was hesitant to go see The Wrestler. However, I was swayed to view it by memories of how entertaining it was to watch the WWF on Channel 10 in the 1980s. The Wrestler takes several friendly digs at the theatrical elements of wrestling and how the winner is often pre-determined. Although the re-match between “The Ayatollah” and Rourke’s character is ultimately devastating, the sight of an African-American man flourishing an Iranian flag was a hilarious reminder of the lengths the WWF used to go to get a collective “you suck, you suck” from the audience.  More than anything the movie’s a wonderful insight into what happens when you don’t know what the hell to do with your life anymore when you can’t (or shouldn’t) do the only thing you’re good at doing. Rourke’s Randy “The Ram” Robinson is a study in regret, failure, torment and confusion. He’s an “everyman” in tights who can make you cry with him even though you know the reason he’s upset is because he’s a useless father.  Marisa Tomei’s magnificent as a practical stripper who’s facing similar challenges to “The Ram”, however, it feels like she’ll be okay because she doesn’t rely on audience approval in the same way he does.  Bruce Springsteen’s theme song hasn’t been nominated for an Oscar, which can only be responded to with a “you suck, you suck”.  The Wrestler gets five stars out of five and makes Rourke a strong contender for Best Actor. 

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Not Hollywood, Paul and what to watch over summer

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For many Australians the local film industry is made up of movies like Strictly Ballroom, Picnic at Hanging Rock and Australia. The documentary Not Quite Hollywood celebrates lesser known works that are regarded as “genre cinema”.

Movies that contain ample ample breasts, buckets of blood, bikie gangs, car crashes, unrealistic looking crocodiles and violent yobbos in leather form part of the “genre” genre.

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Melbourne: No bad buskers allowed?

Now, I’ve heard there was a secret chord

That David played and it pleased the Lord,

But you don’t really care for music, do you?

If Leonard Cohen was a busker in Melbourne would he be dismissed as a talentless singer by Lord Mayor Robert Doyle?

Melburnians would know that the new Lord Mayor wants the city to be free of bogans and buskers who can’t hold a tune. 

At the time of writing it hadn’t been confirmed what Cr Robert Doyle plans to do about talented busking bogans.

The adept young man who was recently spotted on Swanston Street wearing clown pants and a ponytail didn’t look much like a bogan but his antics on the electric guitar would’ve warmed the heart of any fan of flannelette shirts.

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Reminder about LP Christmas drinks – be there or be relatively square

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas and the Larvatus Prodeo team would like to invite you to have drinks on Sunday 14 December 2008 to celebrate the season.   

Details are as follows:

In Brisbane, the Prodetariate will be meeting at 3.30pm at the Hotel Bravo at Brunswick Central, 455 Brunswick Street, Fortitude Valley;

In Sydney, Larvatus Proteans will be meeting at 4.30pm at the Warren View, 2 Stanmore Road, Enmore (Marrickville); and

In Melbourne, LP people will be meeting at 4.30pm at The Alderman, 134 Lygon Street, East Brunswick.

Note that Melbourne and Sydney are both meeting at 4.30pm, but Brisbane is at 3.30pm (still no daylight saving up there in Bligh land).

Just come along on the day if you can make it. We look forward to seeing you. Ho, ho, and, well, ho.

Larvatus Prodeo Christmas drinks

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas and the Larvatus Prodeo team would like to invite you to have drinks on Sunday 14 December 2008 to celebrate the season.   

Details are as follows:

In Brisbane, the Prodetariate will be meeting at 3.30pm at the Hotel Bravo at Brunswick Central, 455 Brunswick Street, Fortitude Valley;

In Sydney, Larvatus Proteans will be meeting at 4.30pm at the Warren View, 2 Stanmore Road, Marrickville; and

In Melbourne, LP people will be meeting at 4.30pm at The Alderman, 134 Lygon Street, East Brunswick.

Note that Melbourne and Sydney are both meeting at 4.30pm, but Brisbane is at 3.30pm (still no daylight saving up there in Bligh land).

Just come along on the day if you can make it. We look forward to seeing you. Ho, ho, and, well, ho.

These boots are made for walking?

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 The legs in boots without heels belong to Posh Spice

There’s an article in today’s M magazine (comes with The Sunday Age) that discusses what a woman’s choice of shoes say about her.  The article features a large photo of a female who’s on a bicycle while attired in a short dress and a pair of high heels. She rides her bike in heels, apparently. Not sure why they chose to include such a big photo of the woman in the high heels and short dress, but suffice to say she’s a heels kind of a gal:

But I am committed – I will always be a heels girl. I feel like I could run five kilometres in heels, it’s totally fine. It’s about just looking down and feeling happy – heels do that for me.

The article also features Melbourne blogger Rebekka Power, and Rebekka isn’t a high heels kind of a gal:

Heels are silly, period. They are uncomfortable, bad for my spine, misalign my pelvis…I have not read one benefit heels do for my body.

Like corsets in old England and feet binding in ancient China, heels are just another way to handicap females. When a female’s in a pair of stilettos, there is no way she can run away if she’s being attacked, or needs to get away from some form of danger or trouble.

My shoes say that I’m about as thoughtful about the impact of shoes on the health of feet as a woman who rides her bike while wearing high heels. What do your shoes say about you?

Sunday in the park

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Man on Wire

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The documentary Man on Wire does nothing to dispel the notion that creativity is often accompanied by more than a little “madness”. However, while Philippe Petit, the man who walked between the since departed World Trade Centre (WTC) on a high wire on 7 August 1974, comes across as rather dotty and excitable while relating the story of his deed, he displayed an extraordinary level of concentration and calm while engaging in his art. Petit did allow his “sphinx-like” countenance to break during his 45-minute stint between the Twin Towers when he spotted some police officers standing at the top of one of the Towers waiting to arrest him (Petit smiled). Man on Wire is an entertaining, thrilling and sometimes funny look at a man who chose to infilitrate and “conquer” the WTC partly for the purposes of creating something beautiful.  The image of Petit lying on the tightrope while holding his balancing bar isn’t just stunning, it has spiritual connotations. Also reminiscing about Petit’s notorious adventure is a band of accomplices, including a pot-smoking musician, a relaxed Australian and a romantic partner who was in no position to pursue her own dreams whilst in a relationship with such a focussed man. Some of these people stayed with Petit until the deed was done and others (unsuprisingly) decamped earlier on. Alas, the soundtrack to the film is occasionally intrusive, with Michael Nyman seemingly recycling some of the pieces he composed for The Piano. Nevertheless, Man on Wire is an inspiring film that manages to touch the soul.

Picture this: St Arnaud

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The grave of a St Arnaud “forefather”

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Best Australian songs according to readers of The Australian

The latest edition of The Weekend Australian Magazine features the results of a poll conducted by the publication to determine the best Australian songs of the last two decades.  The list includes “No Aphrodisiac” by The Whitlams, “The Ship Song” by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds and “The Special Two” by Missy Higgins. Topping the poll is The Church’s “Under the Milky Way”. Strangely, bands like Hunters & Collectors and Midnight Oil are absent from the list. Also missing are the Divinyls, a band renowned for having one of the most distinctive and exciting lead singers in the history of local rock music. Perhaps Chrissy Amphlett’s lack of Missy-like niceness doesn’t sit well with readers of The Australian (the results suggest that most Australian female singers don’t sit well with readers of The Australian). Anyway, the video below is a performance by the Divinyls of the extraordinary “Elsie”; a song which is a disturbing and sad insight into a woman’s dire circumstances and mental decline.

Persepolis

There are moments in the film Persepolis when the animation makes you gasp at its ability to tell you so much in such apparently simple images.  Three notable instances of such illustrations are the young Marjane Satrapi morphing into the character we know so well from Munch’s The Scream, two snake-like female “guardians of the revolution” accosting Satrapi because of the way she’s dressed, and a young soldier slowly being blown to bits.  According to the movie (and one of the graphic novels it’s based on), such young men were given a plastic key that had been painted gold prior to going into battle as a symbol that soon they’d be entering the kingdom of heaven. 

Persepolis is about a precocious girl growing up in Iran during the Islamic Revolution.  It’s also about her travails in exile when her educated and liberal parents decide she needs to get out.  It’s an extraordinary achievement that manages to be funny, perceptive, shattering and educative about Iran and the West. 

On the borderline (personality disorder)

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Image from Askville

Last week local newspapers were filled with the very sad story of the suicide of an Australian actor.

This man had apparently been suffering from depression, and in some of the photographs that appeared in the media of him his eyes revealed a great deal of emotional pain. 

Last week there was an item on an overseas newspaper’s website about another young male who took his own life. 

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