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32 responses to “Torquemada in Lycra”

  1. THR

    Yes, behind the ‘conviction politics’ and the pseudo-gaffes (wives ironing – ho ho!) is another hollow man with another brand of spin that conceals a lack of substance. To the extent that there’s any substance at all, it’s sheer regressive imbecility, as evidenced by the fact that one day after becoming leader, Abbott was talking about reviving Workchoices. He’ll call for the death penalty for Australia’s numerous and unquenchable mass murderers, but makes sure he doesn’t have to commit any of this to policy.
    He’s basically Kevin Rudd with an oversized Mexican novelty hat, and a fistful of shreddings from the Howard-era B-Policy bin.

  2. anthony nolan

    He is crude and I’m enjoying the splendid show.

  3. Peter Kemp

    His manifesto, Battlelines, stresses how hard it is for humans to reconcile carnal appetites with their spiritual yearnings, and he acknowledges that dilemma in his life.

    Poor Tones, how could he ever understand this dude?

    I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

    [George Carlin]

  4. wbb

    Abbott doesn’t trust the voters and so he plays up to them. But for the reasons Barker describes he does have certain plans for them. He is no democrat.

  5. Mark

    Barker’s piece was worth the three bucks the Fin costs.

  6. Nickws

    Don’t worry, the blokefication of Abbott will begin to unravel when the Right commentariat start running with ‘He’s Teh New Bob Hawke!’

    Too many contradictions there for tories to get their heads around; unlike the Monk Hawke was famous for modifying his personal behaviour; unlike the Monk Hawke was politically allied with feminism; unlike the Monk the Silver Bodgie was dedicated to moving his party to the ideological centre.

    The superficial attraction of turning Abbott into Super Ocker/Good With His Hands will quickly ware off when the Lib base realise it means conceding things to the cultural narrative of the other side of politics (and that obviously goes beyond the legend of R.J.L., what with the Australia of Jimmy Barnes’ ‘Working Class Man’ being chock-full of grotty oiks, if you hadn’t noticed).

  7. Katz

    When Abbott was a toddler, neither of his parents slapped him on the wrist in the post office queue and told him to put his willy back in his pants.

    Or more disturbingly, one or both of his parents did slap him on the wrist for public willy waggling and he enjoyed the sensation immensely.

    Perhaps Abbott still likes being slapped on the wrist for public willy waggling.

  8. rumrebellious

    Tony has a tatt?

  9. Paul Burns

    Where? Is it a butterfly on his bum?

  10. David Irving (no relation)

    Nickws, I find the idea of Abbott being “Good With His Hands” unsettling. (Although, if true, it’d settle the question about what he did when desperate for a root on the campaign trail.)

  11. whisky & cigars

    We may all laugh however the media, especially the ABC, love the mad monk and cannot get enough of him. Makes me want to watch the channels which are $250million better off!!

  12. CMMC

    Gawd, this insulation farce drags on and on.

    They’re not getting anywhere with it, the Opposition, that is.

    The Liberal/National/ABC/NewsLTD/Fairfax/Talback Radio Coalition.

    It’s just UteGate again with no email.

  13. Gummo Trotsky

    Strange that Tony’s dog-whistling on capital punishment has slipped under the radar.

  14. adrian

    “The Liberal/National/ABC/NewsLTD/Fairfax/Talback Radio Coalition.”

    Hey – the word ‘coalition’ has taken on a whole new meaning lately.

  15. Robert Merkel

    I noticed, Gummo.

    Of course, it’s not his jurisdiction, so it’s a no-lose proposition for him.

    Sneaky bastard.

  16. Claire

    I think Tony Abbott would be a great PM. He is open about who he is and is clear about what he wants for Australia. He listens to the concerns of his electorate and to the concerns of all Australians and I really think that’s a fundamentally important thing which seems to have been forgotten by many politicians. Tony’s ego is much smaller than his opponent and I really don’t care about his personality or what he wears or anything else. As long as he can run the country effectively is really all that matters. Australians need to vote for good policy and management, not personalities. At the end of the day, he can’t possibly do any worse than Rudd and Labor. I always roll on the floor with laughter when Rudd and Swan speak about their committment to keep Australia’s economy strong with responsible fiscal spending. They should be comedians.

  17. zoot

    Another Stepford wife??

  18. SJ

    …it’s not his jurisdiction…

    In some important circumstances, it is his jurisdiction:

    a) Extradition
    b) Choice of arresting authority

    The Extradition Act 1988 (Cth) does not allow extradition if the suspect will face either the death penalty or torture, but the federal AG can permit extradition if he gets an assurance from the country in question that this won’t occur. Think of the B.S. declarations from the U.S. that they don’t practice torture. All it takes is a nudge and a wink, and Abbott could get anyone extradited and executed.

    (b) is the Bali nine situation. Do we arrest them here, where there’s no death penalty, or do we supply information to a death penalty country that will get them arrested there?

  19. SJ

    I think Tony Abbott would be a great PM. He is open about who he is and is clear about what he wants for Australia.

    Do these Liberal staffers get paid overtime for posting stuff like this? I suppose not, which makes me wonder why they bother.

  20. Cameron

    CMMC, this program cost about $3 billion of taxpayers money. Possibly tens of millions of dollars have been lost, not to mention thousands of jobs and you think it’s insignificant? You don’t care that your tax money is treated with such disrespect? Wait until something like this hits closer to home and you might change your mind.

  21. Mark

    @19, deep passion for Abbott?

  22. joe2

    “You don’t care that your tax money is treated with such disrespect? Wait until something like this hits closer to home and you might change your mind.”

    Hell [email protected], that money has hit close to home. That insulation is nestling high up in my ceiling already keeping me so cool, I can hardly believe.

  23. David Irving (no relation)

    It hasn’t really Gummo @ 13, but I wasn’t going to vote for the prick anyway.

  24. David Irving (no relation)

    Oh, Claire.

    “Tony’s egobudgie is much smaller than his opponent”

    Nice try.

  25. Nickws

    Jesus, what is it with being a Liberal supporter and writing like a parody of Rainman? Have these people never communicated with a single other human being via post/email?

  26. Patricia WA

    DI(nr) you don’t have to be a springy septuagenarian ALP supporter for me to love you if you can keep me laughing like this. Re your comment @ 10 though, is there a question about that?

    Kim, loved your headline. Torquemada in Lycra – wow!

    Elected to lead Opposition
    Mr Abbott departed tradition
    As a political feint
    He joined our new saint
    And established an Oz Inquisition.

  27. Patricia WA

    A literary friend has moved an amendment to the last line of my earlier limerick which I thought might appeal to Katz of the ‘double entendre’.

    An MP with physique of perfection
    And muscles trained for election
    Was warned he’d go blind
    Unless he could find
    A safe “seat” for his member’s erection!.

  28. Paul Burns

    Meanwhile, Rudd has gazumped Abbott over the insulation controversy and Barnaby and his net debt seems once more to be the issue.
    Now, if Rudd switched Garrett with Marn Ferguson … :)
    Tones would be well and truly done over.

  29. David Irving (no relation)

    Dunno that swapping Garrett with Marn Fersn’d be a good idea, Paul. OTOH, swapping Marn for Turnbull’d be win-win!

  30. Fascinated

    Patricia – lovely doggerel.

  31. armagny

    “what is it with being a Liberal supporter and writing like a parody of Rainman?”

    Well to be fair you could substitute NUS spokesperson or Greens Senator in there.

  32. Bushfire Bill

    Perhaps Abbott still likes being slapped on the wrist for public willy waggling.


    Tony has a Confession compulsion. If he hasn’t got a sin ready for the day, he’ll make one up.

    He’s just a naughty boy trying to shock his Mummy and Daddy so they’ll forgive him.